Anonymous wrote:We are now paying daycare expenses for our first grandchild. My daughter carries their health insurance and her husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage that he has to pay child support for.

I'm not happy about it but I'm not sure what to do about it.

I agree this is not ideal but also agree that it is a difficult situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are now paying daycare expenses for our first grandchild. My daughter carries their health insurance and her husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage that he has to pay child support for.

I'm not happy about it but I'm not sure what to do about it.

Do you mean like, you feel you can’t say no or you disagree with your spouse about it?

Well, the kids can't afford it. And they can't afford for one of them to stay home. I guess I'm angry that they didn't think this through and just figured it will all work out. And of course, it has. Mom and dad have solved the problem. She's 27 and he's 37. It's easy to say that we shouldn't pay daycare but then what? They make too much money to qualify for daycare vouchers but not enough to pay the monthly fee.

Anonymous wrote:We are now paying daycare expenses for our first grandchild. My daughter carries their health insurance and her husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage that he has to pay child support for.

I'm not happy about it but I'm not sure what to do about it.

I can tell you what to do about it. Stop enabling them and if they want to have children, they have to be able to afford it.

OP here. Thanks everyone, I am asking from a financial planning perspective as our kids will be graduating high school soon. I know it depends on the kid/degree/their job/location etc but wanted to get a general sense of what others end up doing.

Anonymous wrote:We are now paying daycare expenses for our first grandchild. My daughter carries their health insurance and her husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage that he has to pay child support for.

I'm not happy about it but I'm not sure what to do about it.

Why are you paying for their childcare?

Anonymous wrote:I wonder about this as well. My son graduated last May from a top school and got a job paying $78K a year that he started in September. He's currently living at home to save some money. Lots of his co-workers (similar jobs, same experience) have apartments in Clarendon and Dupont. I just don't know how these kids afford it and still have a social life. My son, granted, is putting a lot of money away. He would really like to buy a condo vs. pay rent, but interest rates are too high right now. I do wonder how many of these kids with their own apartments are getting help from parents. We could easily afford to help him, but I'm not quite there with it. We would definitely help with a down payment on a condo though.

Much smarter for him to live at home with you (assuming commute is doable) and save a ton. He can still hang out with friends, and he will actually have some $$ to do so a few times per month since he can live rent free, all while still saving to buy

Anonymous wrote:We are now paying daycare expenses for our first grandchild. My daughter carries their health insurance and her husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage that he has to pay child support for.

I'm not happy about it but I'm not sure what to do about it.

Do you mean like, you feel you can’t say no or you disagree with your spouse about it?

We are now paying daycare expenses for our first grandchild. My daughter carries their health insurance and her husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage that he has to pay child support for.

I'm not happy about it but I'm not sure what to do about it.

21 and 23 … still support

Undergrad and graduate school (though the grad student has a scholarship paying for a lot)

There’s probably an important distinction between “supporting” in the sense of someone being unable to live on their own vs transferring money because you can and want to.

Fwiw having grown up very privileged around lots of other privileged kids, my approach as a parent will to provide be a conditional safety net or no strings attached gifts. If my kid has a job and is living in NYC I’d rather give her $15k in January if I want to than pay half her rent or whatever. She can figure out what to do with it. I’d probably commit to those gifts for X years for planning purposes. But if she loses her job, she can always come home to live with us subject to certain conditions like reasonable sobriety, seeking employment etc. What I want to avoid is a kind of long term, controlling financial entanglement.

Anonymous wrote:I am planning to support my son (18) until he finishes grad school and then look at his income to figure out if he can afford to live on his own with his first income. The roommate thing is still an option. I know a 24 year old who has six roommates in a 2 bedroom rental house. His parents pay for his graduate education but not living expenses.

6 adults in a 2 bedroom house may be a bit far, but I shared a house with friends throughout my 20s. I lived in London and there was zero expectation that young people would rent an entire flat by themselves. I don't think there is anything wrong with living with friends until you couple up and get a place of your own, perhaps in your mid or late 20s, or even early 30s.

I am planning to support my son (18) until he finishes grad school and then look at his income to figure out if he can afford to live on his own with his first income. The roommate thing is still an option. I know a 24 year old who has six roommates in a 2 bedroom rental house. His parents pay for his graduate education but not living expenses.

I wonder about this as well. My son graduated last May from a top school and got a job paying $78K a year that he started in September. He's currently living at home to save some money. Lots of his co-workers (similar jobs, same experience) have apartments in Clarendon and Dupont. I just don't know how these kids afford it and still have a social life. My son, granted, is putting a lot of money away. He would really like to buy a condo vs. pay rent, but interest rates are too high right now. I do wonder how many of these kids with their own apartments are getting help from parents. We could easily afford to help him, but I'm not quite there with it. We would definitely help with a down payment on a condo though.

I plead the Fifth

And how long have you been doing it, how old are your kid(s), what did they study and how long do you intend to continue doing it?