Look into the Declarative Language Handbook

https://www.amazon.com/Declarative-Language-Handbook-Thoughtful-Challenges/dp/1734516208

https://www.declarativelanguage.com/sunday-snippets-of-support/i-remember

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Opened ended questions like "what did you do at school today?" are very hard for any child at that age. Ask him more specific questions like did you play with blocks, who did you play with, did you go outside, did you go down the slide, etc.

Is he in speech therapy?

He was in speech therapy for a few months but we're pausing now while he adjusts to school. Will probably start up again next month. I try to do yes/no quesitons... "did you play at school?" "did you dance?" "did you drink milk?" And absolutely nothing.

I don't live in DC area so maybe therapists don't do this there, but it was enormously helpful to have the speech therapist work with my son at school (private schools...public wouldn't allow outside people). From prek through 5th grade (COVID) she was there twice a week, at first for one "academic" time and one social time, and then when he was older she only came for academic times. She worked with him and modeled appropriate interventions for the teachers. Sent me weekly reports. She was great and helped him a lot.

My dd, who is dx asd and is now 9, only in the last year or so started telling me about her school day. Despite me asking every day since kindergarten lol.

Anonymous wrote:Our speech therapist actually told us NOT to ask questions all the time. This is something parents tend to do with our kids who have SN because we are trying to elicit speech from them. But it’s not good modeling because speech doesn’t work that way.

What happened with our DS Is he was verbal but delayed and we were asking questions relentlessly to elicit speech and then suddenly at 4/5 his language exploded but all he did was ask us nonsense questions over and over again and the speech therapist said this happened because of the modeling we gave.

Questions are supposed to serve a purpose, and that is to give us information that we need to make decisions. You shouldn’t be asking questions if they aren’t real.

All of this was super counterintuitive to me.

^^ this (from a pediatric SLP)

Natural communication interactions are an ebb and flow of questions, comments, exclamations, joint silence, refusals, requests, and more. Not to mention question-asking creates pressure on cognitive and linguistic systems, which can inhibit communication. For every question you ask, try adding a comment or two to balance things out and see what kind of language emerges. And if asking a question, try a closed, binary choice question (eg did you read a book or go outside?) to relieve some of the language demand. It’s like how multiple choice test questions are often easier than short answer or true/false. Hope that helps!

That’s so interesting!

Our speech therapist actually told us NOT to ask questions all the time. This is something parents tend to do with our kids who have SN because we are trying to elicit speech from them. But it’s not good modeling because speech doesn’t work that way.

What happened with our DS Is he was verbal but delayed and we were asking questions relentlessly to elicit speech and then suddenly at 4/5 his language exploded but all he did was ask us nonsense questions over and over again and the speech therapist said this happened because of the modeling we gave.

Questions are supposed to serve a purpose, and that is to give us information that we need to make decisions. You shouldn’t be asking questions if they aren’t real.

All of this was super counterintuitive to me.

It might get better but only after several years of intensive services. Look into verbal behavior based EIBI.

Speech therapy is important at that age.

He just probably cannot answer due to ASD. He likely may be comprehending but expressing himself is probably very hard. I would limit it to 2 questions as it may feel like you are bombarding him with questions otherwise. My son with ASD could not answer those questions then either. You may want to show him pictures in a book about preschool and point and ask very specific questions like look at the kids on the playground here...did you go outside and play on the playground? Look at the kids eating fruit. What did you have for snack today? Also, give him lots of time to answer. Sometimes, my son would answer literally an hour later to a question - and would then make no sense. For example, I might ask what did you have for snack? He wouldn't answer, and then what seemed like randomly right before his nap, he would say pretzels! And in fact, when I asked the teacher (because we were keeping a food diary), she would confirm pretzels.

Now at age 10, he tells me all about his day and wants to hear about mine too. We stopped speech therapy a couple of years ago.

Anonymous wrote:Opened ended questions like "what did you do at school today?" are very hard for any child at that age. Ask him more specific questions like did you play with blocks, who did you play with, did you go outside, did you go down the slide, etc.

Is he in speech therapy?

He was in speech therapy for a few months but we're pausing now while he adjusts to school. Will probably start up again next month. I try to do yes/no quesitons... "did you play at school?" "did you dance?" "did you drink milk?" And absolutely nothing.

My ASD 5 year old rarely responds to open ended questions but will usually respond to close ended ones, within reason. Too many and he chastises me. “stop telling me questions, mommy!”

Anonymous wrote:My DS was highly verbal starting at 2 but didn't really answer questions for years. For questions like, Do you want milk or water?, he would just say the last one whatever it was, whether or not it was what he wanted or liked or not. Questions like, What did you play during playtime? or Who did you sit next to during circle time? usually didn't get an answer.

Now years later, with practice, with scaffolding and scripts and with clear questions that aren't very open-ended, he can and does answer questions, usually.

^ Adding, DS was diagnosed with ASD late but we had suspicions for years beforehand.

My DS was highly verbal starting at 2 but didn't really answer questions for years. For questions like, Do you want milk or water?, he would just say the last one whatever it was, whether or not it was what he wanted or liked or not. Questions like, What did you play during playtime? or Who did you sit next to during circle time? usually didn't get an answer.

Now years later, with practice, with scaffolding and scripts and with clear questions that aren't very open-ended, he can and does answer questions, usually.

Opened ended questions like "what did you do at school today?" are very hard for any child at that age. Ask him more specific questions like did you play with blocks, who did you play with, did you go outside, did you go down the slide, etc.

Is he in speech therapy?

My son just turned 3. He was diagnosed with ASD at 2.5. They didn't give us a level, but it seems mild. He is verbal and likes to talk about things he likes, but essentially never answers questions (ie he talks at us all the time but never a back and forth). The only time I can think of him actually answering a question is if we ask him what flavor popsicle he wants. He just stared pre-school early at DCPS and I would like for him to talk to me about his school day. And I know answering questions in general is important for school. Anyone have a similar situation/any suggestions to get him to answer? Did they eventually start responding?