a lot changed on this front for us between turning three and turning four

Is your child interested in talking to other kids? Do they go to preschool? Showing them their toys? Engaging in dramatic play, like family, acting out Spidey etc ? Exchanging gossip (three year old girls definitely do that? If they're doing none of that I would probably be concerned.

I had an acquaintance once tell me her son thought he was playing with other kids, but he actually wasn't. She was kind of amused, and I thought to myself it sounded like autism. Fast forward two years and both of our kids have been diagnosed. She didn't think hers was autistic and I didn't think mine was. But they both are.

I think if you are wondering about this, you should explore getting a developmental pediatrician appointment or an eval from a psychologist. I know it's not easy or cheap, but the payoff from early identification is huge.

Fwiw my DC is the type nobody thinks is autistic and is not stereotypically so, but after the eval we don't doubt it at all. The stereotypes about autism - no eye contact, no interest in others - are just one way autism can present. I waved off early signs like stimming, a lack of pointing and repetitive play because DC is so expressive, smiled and laughed from an early age and loves playing with other kids. But autism can look like that.

Are they an only child?

Can be normal. Can be red flag for autism of the fka-Aspergers variety. Lots of variation. If kid is happy, I wouldn’t worry too much.

Yes normal. My kid was notorious at her preschool for just sitting in the corner entertaining herself all morning. The teachers would ask if she wanted to play with the other kids and she was like "no I'm good." Sometimes she'd play in the same area as another kid, like the play kitchen, but never really WITH them.

At the playground she only wanted to hang out with us.

She's 7 now, neurotypical, lots of friends at school and can make friends just about anywhere -- playground, neighborhood barbecues, vacation, you name it.

Until about 3/4, kids are much more focused on their caregivers than other children. Then once they have the security of that relationship, it becomes easier to branch out and start developing peer relationships.

Anonymous wrote:It’s parallel play and normal.

+1. Totally normal.

Too young to be a concern for SN. If a child is 5, 6, 7 and successfully socializes with adults and noticeably younger kids, but can’t mesh with same age peers, that’s a concern.

It’s parallel play and normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do they do if they’re left in a room with another kid and no adult?

Never tried this since they are 3..

I’d try it and see what happens. If she’s never had the opportunity to play alone with other kids then you really can’t determine if there’s a bigger issue or just lack of exposure.

3 year olds typically don’t play “with” each other. It’s mainly parallel play until 4 or later. I’m fairly certain my kid preferred adults at that age too because he didn’t have to share and the adult did whatever he wanted! If this is the only thing you are worried about, I wouldn’t worry.

We called my daughter the lone wolf when she was that age. She is 16 now and I'm happy to report that she has friends.

Anonymous wrote:What do they do if they’re left in a room with another kid and no adult?

Never tried this since they are 3..

What do they do if they’re left in a room with another kid and no adult?

Does anyone have a neurotypical 3 year old that doesn’t like playing with other kids and only wants to play with parents or grown ups? Or is this definitely a sign of SN?