If he locks himself up, ask him to stay locked up. Tell him to take his sweet time. Maybe go play video games. Send him to his man cave.
What is his special need?

Anonymous wrote:I feel less stressed when my spouse is around because I don't have to collaborate and I just make decisions. But my life would be no where near as rewarding without him. Wrong premis.

That said, you are getting closer to the kids-are-easier phase.

Yes. But this is a good point. I feel less stress sometimes when my husband isn’t around - especially at bed time. Like I just do it and decide if they need baths and did they brush their teeth good enough. I don’t have to check-in first. But I wouldn’t divorce over that. Mostly we work together just fine- but we are all human.

Is your DH locking himself in a room every single night or just needing to take an evening to himself here and there? In what other ways is he a grouch?

Anonymous wrote:You won’t like being divorced with a 4 and 6 year old either, trust me. Suck it up and parent with the only other person who loves your kids like you do.

-1000x

Wow, this is by far the worst advice ever.

No need to “suck it up” & continue being miserable.

The only truth here is that yes, it will be tough being a single, divorced parent to two young kids.

But to continue sharing a home w/a person as lousy as your husband is much much worse! 😠

He says “F it!” then locks himself in a room, thus ignoring his own kids??!
If a Mother did this she would be heavily critiqued!
But a Father does this and the OP is advised to stay w/this loser??!

Argh, only in DCUMLAND.

I feel less stressed when my spouse is around because I don't have to collaborate and I just make decisions. But my life would be no where near as rewarding without him. Wrong premis.

That said, you are getting closer to the kids-are-easier phase.

Anonymous wrote:You can stop changing minor details of your posts over the past couple days and come hi me and tell me you want a divorce.

Rut-roh!

Anonymous wrote:You won’t like being divorced with a 4 and 6 year old either, trust me. Suck it up and parent with the only other person who loves your kids like you do.

Good strategy - but take time to find your joy. Hobbies. Friends. Travel. Find your joy! I need to do the same. Not worth divorcing my very good husband for

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with the premise. There are times in your life when you might feel less stressed when your spouse is away - I know there were in mine. But that doesn’t mean that you will feel that way forever. For one thing, kids get a lot easier as they get older (if you are doing it right), so there is much less logistical stress in total.

+1.

I don’t agree with the premise. There are times in your life when you might feel less stressed when your spouse is away - I know there were in mine. But that doesn’t mean that you will feel that way forever. For one thing, kids get a lot easier as they get older (if you are doing it right), so there is much less logistical stress in total.

You can stop changing minor details of your posts over the past couple days and come hi me and tell me you want a divorce.

You won’t like being divorced with a 4 and 6 year old either, trust me. Suck it up and parent with the only other person who loves your kids like you do.

We have done therapy, we communicate fine but i think at the end of the day despite what he says he's just not going to change much from the low patience grouch he is (i'm sure he'd have his own thing to say about me)

I hate the idea of our kids having divorced parents, I worry that he'd either hardly see them (which would be sad for them) or take them for some custody but not really take care of them (for example when he's frustrated with them at bedtime he eventually just says f-it, i'm done, and locks himself in a room. they're 4 and 6, not exactly old enough to put themselves to bed. he has no patience to do things in kid friendly ways). But i'm increasingly realized I'd always rather him not be there for family stuff because he makes it so much more stressful for me despite in theory having a second adult to take care of things