Let her sit and scroll. Parts of her body probably hurt and it is common for older people to talk continuously about food: prep, prices, recipes, the next meal, etc. If you plan anything, plan it with your children’s pleasure in mind- she can sit on a bench. You can’t make someone a loving, attentive grandmother. If she was a loving, attentive mother, consider yourself lucky. Kids are exhausting and draining. Accept her as she is, flaws and all.

So, let her sit on her iPad. Take the kids and do what you normally would do. She can decide to join in or not.

Tell her there’s a 1 hour screen time limit in this house and that applies to everyone.

You need to plan outings and activities

You need yon ok an outings and activities

Encourage your kids to invite her to do things. "Grandma, come color with me/play this game with me/read this book with me/help me study my spelling words/come bake cookies with me/teach me how to sew a button".

Have her visit for shorter times.

Things that involve food and sitting

What kind of stuff are you planning/picking for her? It sounds like she's content to just sit on the sofa; give her the remote and wifi password and go about your day.

Great to have my mom visit, but it’s really hard to get her off iPad and Facebook. She posts about the grandkids and talks to them a little. Otherwise off in her own world, does not initiate any play or activity, and does not enjoy being outside or active.

I find it makes me anxious and it feels like I have to plan and pick everything. It’s easier when we visit her, but I don’t have enough vacation to go to her every time. Any ideas?