Anonymous wrote:Studies have been done on this topic and all report that children living with both biological parents report a higher levels of life satisfaction than those in single parent homes. One of these studies was conducted in 36 industrialized countries.

I would be interested in reading these studies. I’m assuming the only difference was having a second parent in the home. Income levels were the same, ability to do activities were the same, no one had a sibling with SN or grandparents that needed care.

Single mom by choice to 2 kids. I love our life. The kids are happy. My dad recently passed away but he lived with us for a few years. My brother is close to the kids. And my best male friend from HS is also involved in their lives. They don’t lack for male role models.

I love that I don’t have to negotiate decisions with anyone. When I need to talk things through, I call my girlfriends or my brother.

By the time I decided to get pregnant on my own I had already purchased a SFH. I had a flexible job and made a decent income. Daycare wasn’t too bad as I used an in home provider.

Kids are now 15 and 17. It’s been a good life.

The hardest part for me is explaining the father portion of it

It’s really hard when Father’s Day comes around

I have a boy, so sometimes it’s hard to decide between being hard on him or giving into his needs

Another thing is sports, all the boys have their dads there, and then it’s just us.


we have a very blessed life and by no means need for anything so I’m able to provide
However, those are the tough convos and moments.

Maybe one day I’ll get married, till then just the two of us

I think it’s not so hard to be a single mom by choice if you have enough money. Add in some family support and you’re golden. One child is like a pet. It’s not hard to have one child and spend enough time on them.

I wouldn’t recommend single moms by choice to have 3 kids. Not enough hours in the day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not having money if you don't have it.

I have money and it has made it all 100000 percent easier. Easier than being married, even.

Easier for you, not for the child. You value your money over your child’s need and want for a mother or father.

Np. I know adult children of single moms by choice and they are happier than those of divorced moms. Theyre well adjusted and have families of their own now. They’re also happier than those of marriAges where the man works nonstop and their moms were SAHMs. I think the last is the most unhealthy dynamic.

Being single

Not having money if you don't have it.

I have money and it has made it all 100000 percent easier. Easier than being married, even.

13 years being a single mom by choice. Wouldn’t change a thing. Between my friends and paying for help at times I’ve figured out all the logistics. I love it and have an amazing little family.

The logistics. The world is set up for two-parent families and it’s so damn hard to balance logistics on my own. Last-minute changes that were annoying before when I was married are catastrophic now.

No support. It's not like you can just go on a date on a whim. It costs you hundreds to be disappointed too.

It varies with lots of factors but the largest is money. A very well off single mother has a significantly easier life than a middle class single mother (or even married mother) and an almost wholly different experience from a working class mother married or otherwise.

You know how people always post about their spouse wanting to handle things differently with their child than they do and then they argue about it? Well, the good thing about being a single mom is I never have to argue. Everything gets done my way because I'm in charge.

The hardest thing is also that - I have to handle EVERYTHING. The mental and physical load all the time, no matter what.

If she’s considering becoming a single mom by choice (or trying) and you’re trying to talk her out of it because you find being a single mom too hard for you, then you’re a crappy friend. Her situation is different from yours. Stay out of it.

If she has enough money and the relationship/good management skills to have a quality nanny for the early years and housekeeping help in later years, the strain of solo parenting can be minimal and a nice benefit to having another loving person so fully involved with your child. I barely had the funds, but had a health issue that meant I needed help. It worked out beautifully. Our nanny stayed involved on a halftime basis through middle school and then in a more limited way through high school.

I was trying to tell my friend that being a single mom is NOT a good idea! I know because I am one lol.

For me is mostly financially challenging, and she has money so she doesn't feel that resonates.

I think also though if you don't have a partner to help with the balance (yin/yang energies) you feel depleted energetically trying for multiple roles, all on your own.

I think women who 'choose' to be a single mother have no idea what they're getting into, but clearly I am biased.

What do you think?