Don't move him yet.
Hire a care manager to organize him and conduct visits 2-3/week to sort out issues.
Much better situation to extend his independence.

I'd go with a continuing care retirement community where he can be in independent living now and then move to AL or memory care if/when the time comes.

My mom's CCRC (Vinson Hall in McLean, which she adores) has nursing staff onsite but you have to either make an appointment and go to them (no charge) or hire one of the team members to visit your apartment (I believe there's a charge). It's also possible (and common) to hire outside helpers. There are health care aides, but generally they will want 4-hour shifts. There are also traveling nurses that you pay by the hour/visit. If anything in her apartment goes wrong, the maintenance staff comes and fixes it asap (for free obviously).

With the pill bottles, that seems like something that could be easily solved now either by a) getting his pill bottles without child-proof lids, b) many lids these days can be turned upside down so they're not child-proof, c) getting a pill package service like Pill Pack that puts all the meds in easy-open packages, or d) investing in four sets of daily pill containers and setting his meds up assembly-style for the month. My mom has four sets of pill cases with holders for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and we do it for her.

Would he be interested in a CCRC? He could start at the IL level and move to AL when he needs. There are usually add-ons like help with medication or an hour of an aide in the morning, so it should be simpler to ramp up as needed.

I wish my parents had saved more money so that they could have moved to a CCRC.

Anonymous wrote:Assisted living is way more expensive than $8000 a month. Also it’s designed for people who need help even with toileting. Does not sound necessary yet.

My MIL’s assisted living was not like this. There was barely any assistance even when she needed it.

It doesn't have to be a perfect decision. So he needs help at 92 rather than 90, you know it's coming. Go with assisted living.

Anonymous wrote:Assisted living is way more expensive than $8000 a month. Also it’s designed for people who need help even with toileting. Does not sound necessary yet.

This is not necessarily true - there are levels within the assisted living. Some people are there just for med management and meals. Others need more care like help showering, etc. Also, for one person at a lower level of care, $8000 sounds about right.

I agree with the premise that moving him to assisted living might be better than independent because he is 90 and starting to need help anyway.

Anonymous wrote:My mother was at 5 Star in Chevy Chase, and it seemed to have what you are looking for.

My mom too. Check it out.

Assisted living is way more expensive than $8000 a month. Also it’s designed for people who need help even with toileting. Does not sound necessary yet.

If he’s 90 and needs some help I’d focus on assisted living. He already needs help. Most people do independent living and add helpers as their loved ones age. Then move them. Save that extra move and just start on the assisted living side. Trust me. Moving an old person is traumatic for everyone.

My mom is at a Brightview north of Baltimore. Highly recommend. The Independent Living set up in general (whichever brand) makes it easy to get involved in activities and have people to eat dinner with. Even if your Dad is an introvert, I bet he’ll enjoy how he’s suddenly surrounded by people his age, and the setting is designed for him.

The next step after full Independent Living is the same but with some independently hired care-givers stopping in.

My mother was at 5 Star in Chevy Chase, and it seemed to have what you are looking for.

Sunrise in Friendship Heights has both Independent living and Assisted Care. Probably about $6k/mo for a one bedroom apt and dining room. If he needed more care in the future, then the price would go up accordingly. Good option to have. Social activities on site, as well as a doctor service and hair salon, podiatrist monthly etc.

Similar to Brightview in Bethesda but was a couple thousand less a month when I looked for my parents last year. I like the Sunrise neighborhood better and was closer to my house but Brightview was very nice. Newer and better decorated.

The IŁ may have an organization or service company that will provide assistance at a cost. Check with the local IL facilities you’re considering. He will probably need to follow a routine because the caregivers will arrive at a scheduled time, not on-demand. The on-demand needs are provided by assisted living.

Check out BrightView on Grosvenor Lane. They have independent living and assisted living. I am not sure what it costs. May be closer to $10,000/month.

My 90 year old Dad lives alone in a condo. He is doing fine, but once in a while needs help with something, for example, can't open a pill bottle or his freezer door got stuck. He is online a lot and sometimes has computer issues; his vision is not great.

He does not need any help with day-to-day living so assisted living will probably be too much but he wants to go to a Senior living center where he can get someone to help him, at any time, if he needs help or has an emergency. He cooks his own meals, nothing fancy, so he doesn't need every meal provided for him but a dining room option would be nice.

Also, he would like some social interaction because he no longer drives. I live nearby but am planning to be out of the country in June for 3 weeks and worry about him being alone. His neighbors are nice enough but he does not ever want to ask them for help, which I understand.

Does such a place exist? Preferably in Bethesda. He can comfortably afford $8,000/month.