Moat people have at least mild depression.

Anonymous wrote:
OP, I'm surprised only that your kid went back and worked at his old job. My guess is he misses his old friends/coworkers a lot. Perhaps he doesn't have clear goals for college and is a bit unmotivated. He may recognize that he is gaming more than he should.

Thanks for this perspective. I just thought he wanted some quick cash as he doesn’t like cafeteria foods very much so eat it order out often.

Be generally supportive and encouraging.

Ask how things are going (compared to what he expected),

Make sure he knows you are open to both good and bad news, and lovehim (/are proud of him) unconditionally.

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure that's the guy my teen son recommended that I look into when I started grumbling about his "video game addiction". If so, I found that person's videos interesting and helpful.

What I feel is most likely is that this was purchased as a self-help, self assessment exercise but that doesn't tell you what your son's issues might be or how serious they are. I think it's best to give your son privacy. Would you want your kid to have a comprehensive list of all the threads you've read on DCUM about bad marriages and whatnot?

You may want to try to have a good conversation with your kid and check in on his mental state and grades. But not because of this purchase.

If you have an opportunity to visit with him (car trip home for spring break, parent weekend type event, etc.) that might be a good opportunity to have a heart-to-heart.

PP. Above is my post. In my family we have a young cousin who failed out of college freshman year and he gamed a lot during that year. It was kind of a symptom.

First thing I should say is that he has completely recovered from the life slump caused by making an incorrect choice of college. But of course it is expensive to fail out of a year of a private school. And he was sad for a year.

Issues:

Poor social fit with what he saw as a rich kid, fratty, drinking culture

Not knowing what he wanted to major in/no clear goal

Bad grades not promptly disclosed to parents

He moved back home. Did some different schooling. Worked abroad. Got a degree. Is now an English teacher of tweenish kids at a public school. He likes it and is happy.

OP, I'm surprised only that your kid went back and worked at his old job. My guess is he misses his old friends/coworkers a lot. Perhaps he doesn't have clear goals for college and is a bit unmotivated. He may recognize that he is gaming more than he should.

I had a period junior year when I was struggling with a frustrating class and I felt bored and sad that semester. Some of this is normal.

Hopefully these added comments give you some ideas on what to gently check up on without pushing too hard. Conveying acceptance and support is very important.

People hire life coaches and career coaches a lot now. I think parents of adult children can get some ideas on how to help from those professions.

thank you PPs. was caught off guard by it as he's always the easy/content/happy one. but will be paying more attention now.

I'm pretty sure that's the guy my teen son recommended that I look into when I started grumbling about his "video game addiction". If so, I found that person's videos interesting and helpful.

What I feel is most likely is that this was purchased as a self-help, self assessment exercise but that doesn't tell you what your son's issues might be or how serious they are. I think it's best to give your son privacy. Would you want your kid to have a comprehensive list of all the threads you've read on DCUM about bad marriages and whatnot?

You may want to try to have a good conversation with your kid and check in on his mental state and grades. But not because of this purchase.

If you have an opportunity to visit with him (car trip home for spring break, parent weekend type event, etc.) that might be a good opportunity to have a heart-to-heart.

Anonymous wrote:stumbled on this $30 transaction this morning. should i be worried that DS might be dealing with depression and/or other mental health issues? he was just home for the Spring Break and there wasn't any obvious sign of depression or unhappiness or even stress. he's a gamer and played games with friends but also went out to dinner and hang out a few times, plus doing a few hours of work at his old parttime job site. so overall he looked normal, like before he went off to college. if i want to ask him about this how should i approach?

I'd recommend watching some of Dr. K's content if you haven't already. He has a very large audience that extends beyond solely people actively struggling with mental health issues. He also has a lot of outreach with other content creators, which may be how your son stumbled upon him. Part of what Dr. K preaches is being proactive with self-care, so there's a chance your son isn't necessarily in the darkest of places but maybe he has had issues in the past or deals with stress from time to time and wants to know how to take care of himself, or he might just be a member of Dr. K's community that wants to support his work while also getting some resources at the same time. Of course, there could be something worse going on, but I would not make any conclusions based on this purchase alone.

Omg don't ask him and reveal you've been creeping. Could be for a class or a friend but if it's for him be glad he's looking for appropriate help.

stumbled on this $30 transaction this morning. should i be worried that DS might be dealing with depression and/or other mental health issues? he was just home for the Spring Break and there wasn't any obvious sign of depression or unhappiness or even stress. he's a gamer and played games with friends but also went out to dinner and hang out a few times, plus doing a few hours of work at his old parttime job site. so overall he looked normal, like before he went off to college. if i want to ask him about this how should i approach?