3 kids all now teens+. The oldest has ADHD but wasn’t diagnosed until late. Had it been earlier, I don’t think it would have factored into my decision to have more kids. It’s been well controlled with meds (I realize everyone is different). However, all 3 of my kids have other disabilities and I didn’t know until after #3 was born. There is some overlap (anxiety) but also some non-overlap. With the exception of anxiety, none of it runs in the family. My point is you never know what will crop up. There were a few years where we had a lot of appointments because one was in psychotherapy, 2 in OT and 2 in speech. But we just put one foot in front of the other and made it through. The good times still far outweighed the stress. Nobody has a crystal ball and anytime you have a baby you wade into the unknown. A child can develop cancer or severe food allergies which are far scarier to me than ADHD could ever be. My kids are amazing and doing well so I don’t have any regrets.

Thank you for these responses, very helpful!

Three kids, the youngest has ADHD - learning issues (working memory) that were noted in kindergarten (and led to an IEP), ADHD dx was made at end of third grade.

Both of mind have ADHD. Oldest it wasn't apparent until 1st grade and then we really saw it when school shut down that year. Oldest is diagnosed by a Neuropsych evaluation as combined type, I suspect it's more likely inattentive. Younger child has a new ADHD diagnosis and now in 3rd, DC is always moving, a motormouth, big feels, a temper and struggles to pay attention in school. Much worse case I suspect, but it took longer to become apparent, maybe we chalked too much up to pandemic disruption and dealing with our older child. Both are also Dyslexic and my husband is also finally diagnosed ADHD. I'm losing my mind trying to keep all of them functioning. It has sent my anxiety though the roof. So glad I didn't have more kids.

Two teenage kids.

One has ASD/ADHD/low processing speed, inherited from paternal line. After an entire childhood of very hard work on his part, he's doing reasonably well in college.

The other has a serious auto-immune disease, inherited from the maternal line, which she will have lifelong and need to be very careful with. No mental health disorders.

Both were diagnosed and treated early, and despite all the heartache and hard work involved... I still would have wanted a third.

Two kids. The younger one has ADHD and the older one has dyslexia. We have some strong genetics in our family. DH has ADHD with a similar profile as younger DS.

Three kids, two with ADHD and one too young to tell (6) but probably has it too because he blends in well lol.

Agree that, like with NT kids, the second is easier bc you know what to do. We have had to be choosy about which interventions we can do, but I think that helps - there is always more someone will sell you! It also helps that the kids are likely to have someone to play with because ADHDers get bore so quickly if not in a preferred activity.

2/3 kids are much more inattentive than hyperactive, which helps. And most kids outgrow the worst of the hyperactivity and my nine year old is definitely getting there. And they are good sleepers, even as babies. I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Five kids, 2 with ADHD, husband with ADHD... You can use the skills you learn with the first ADHD kid on the second ADHD kid. With my younger kid, I have the full playbook, and my expectations are managed. With older, it was harder for me to understand, but I had been dealing with my husband for years.

I am a SAHM and we have lots of financial resources for private school and therapy. I think it would be harder if we didn't.

Both my kids have it and my husband and I as well. We aren't the most functional household...

My first and third child have adhd. I also have it.
Middle child keeps us all balanced.

Our third kid has ADHD. Wasn't diagnosed until he was 13 and we were done having kids.

1.

DS was so challenging as a baby/young kid that I couldn’t fathom a second until he was 5, at which point I didn’t want to start over. Once he turned 7 we got adhd/aut diagnoses and it all made sense (and I was glad we hadn’t pushed our limits with a second child)

My middle kid (I have 3) has ADHD. We didn’t really realize the extent of it until I was already pregnant with #3. But I don’t think it would have changed anything anyway. We really wanted another baby and have the bandwidth for it.

Our older child is autistic and our younger child is ADHD; they are 3.5 years apart. The older one wasn't diagnosed when her brother was born. All we knew is that she was a very, very difficult baby (didn't eat, didn't sleep, cried all the time, etc). We knew that we would stop at 2 because we didn't think we could handle any me. Our second was an easy baby but now that they are older and each have their own challenges, I'm really glad that we aren't dividing our energy any more than we are.

One of my children (5.5yo) has combined type ADHD. We also have a 2.5yo who seems NT, having had the experience of raising both a ND and seemingly NT toddler and being able to distinguish. Dh and I are considering having one more child but I want to be very thoughtful about this decision from the aspect of DS having adhd and ensuring that my kids needs are well met. I don’t want to do something that will jeopardize the best interest of my kids.

Anyone else in a similar situation? Financially is not really a concern - it’s more about needs from a bandwidth standpoint. Would love to hear from other parents who are juggling kids with SN along with siblings, or just parents further down the road of an ADHDer.

We are in the trial/error process of medications to treat DS’s ADHD and he’s in several therapeutic interventions as well.