I would be more concerned that my husband seemed to think it was ok to keep this secret from you for 8 years while your families kept bonding and getting closer. I would find this really upsetting and question my husband’s character. My husband has had a few long-standing friends of decades make questionable life questions. It results in the friendship cooling off considerably.

Eight years is an awfully long time, do you think the wife knows?

Anonymous wrote:Of course, it’s none of your business, but this friend opened his big mouth and told your husband. I would back away slowly for the couple. It is not my job to alert the wife, nor it my job to go along with this idiot.

+1. That guy stopped being your “friend” when he put that monkey on your husband’s back. Obviously it’s bothering him if he had it on his mind coming out of surgery. He’s not a good person or friend, so time to go.

Of course, it’s none of your business, but this friend opened his big mouth and told your husband. I would back away slowly for the couple. It is not my job to alert the wife, nor it my job to go along with this idiot.

MYOB. Nothing good will come of it. Agree with a PP do whatever it takes to let it go.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe DH can speak with the husband and convince home that what he is doing is wrong and that he should stop immediately. If your friend finds out about the affair and knows that you knew about, how do you think she will react? I think you should tell her you just now learned about it. You will probably lose her as a friend if you do tell her, unfortunately. She deserves to know.

Wrong.

Do nothing.

Maybe DH can speak with the husband and convince home that what he is doing is wrong and that he should stop immediately. If your friend finds out about the affair and knows that you knew about, how do you think she will react? I think you should tell her you just now learned about it. You will probably lose her as a friend if you do tell her, unfortunately. She deserves to know.

It is none of your business, meaning that it is not your responsibility to tell the wife.

Just tell her.

Anonymous wrote:It could've been his imagination. In a dreamy state, I come up with all kinds of ideas.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t just his imagination. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked DH directly and he admitted it was true.

It could've been his imagination. In a dreamy state, I come up with all kinds of ideas.

Consider that if nothing has changed in 8 years, maybe the whole thing is working.

Try to convince yourself that DH got it wrong somehow and let it go.

While woozy from anesthesia after a minor procedure last week, DH let it slip that his longtime best friend has been having an affair with one of their college classmates for - couldn’t make this up if I tried - the last 8 years!!

We socialize regularly with Best Friend and his DW, our kids play together, etc., and now I feel incredibly awkward possessing this information that DH obviously didn’t mean to divulge. We were supposed to all get together this weekend, but I made up an excuse to cancel because I can’t face either of them at the moment. I’m closer to the wife than the husband, and think she deserves to know, but DH’s loyalty is to his friend even though he doesn’t condone the affair. WWYD?