Anonymous wrote:Which is better? We were planning to get a nanny for our baby when he’s six to seven months old, but we’ve had a few people tell us that they thought daycare was the better choice due to not having to be someone’s boss, more oversight of care, and more socialization. I was hesitant to put such a young baby into daycare, but the point about oversight gives me pause. We’re looking to hire a professional nanny (i.e., someone who has a degree in early childhood education and sees this as a career) so we were hoping to avoid the horror stories about nannies who are distracted on their phones all day, but you can never really know. Any experiences/thoughts about which is better? Have you ever started with one and switched? Cost is not relevant to our decision.

This is the best option. It comes down to you-get-what-you-pay-for. I've honestly never heard anyone say anything but praise for their professional, educated nannies. I've heard pretty scary stuff about daycare and rando third worlder nannies. Go with your instincts and dont listen to jealous haters who cant afford a good nanny. This is one area of life where it's better to be elitist than a cheapskate.

What? No way! Get a nanny. Whoever told you that just probably couldn't afford a nanny. It's worth it just to keep your baby healthy and in your own home. So many yucky germs in daycare. It can be hard to find the perfect nanny for your family, but once you do you're set. We had an absolute gem of a nanny. For those talking about socializing this is easily accomplished by the nanny taking the kid to the playground or library to meet up with others nannys and kids. At 2- 3 years old that's when I'd look into a half day preschool.

A really great and reliable nanny is best, no question. But for a kid 18 months+, a quality daycare is going to be better than the average nanny in terms of reliability.

Anonymous wrote:We never considered getting a nanny (due to financial, space and personal preference of not wanting to deal with being an employer). We found a great daycare and love the stability of it - both that we know exactly when it is open and closed (except for the pandemic...) and that our child has been able to stay in the same place for 5 years with several consistent caregivers that know and adore her. Transition to preschool was super easy. Also because it was affordable for us we have been able to afford private therapies for her autism, which are making a huge difference.

The research suggests some small negative effects from putting a baby in daycare but there are so many other things that matter so much more, most importantly your parenting. So do what works best for your family. Nannies definitely have their advantages, not discounting that. Just know that a well vetted daycare can be a great option as well.

+1 I’ve done daycares throughout for convenience and price reasons but I think a nanny is very good especially 6 months to 1.5 when sleep schedules are erratic and the children have no concept of socializing. The kids when joined are daycare at 2 and 3 from having a nanny or SAHM seemed very well adjusted to me — the only way I can tell the difference is by talking to the parents. Do what works for you.

Anonymous wrote:We chose nanny and will keep a FT nanny until the kids are old enough to drive.

Same. I don't understand the people who say "nanny until age 2 or 3 when the kid is ready to socialize." Are they keeping their baby locked in their house all day? Don't they let the nanny take them out? Our nanny took our babies/toddlers/preschoolers out for a morning activity, then home for lunch and a nap, then out a second time. They played with other kids every single day.

Nanny here as well. She comes when DC is sick too, which is huge. DC is also fluently bilingual now. Lots of socialization at the park and community centers with other kids who have nannies too. DC is happy and safe; I can hear them from my office every day when they’re not out and about. I come out to talk to my nanny for 10 mins while getting lunch ready about how DC’s day is going. It’s fantastic. We are trying to hold on for as long as possible before sending to prek.

Loved having a nanny until my youngest was in preschool. She helped lighten the load at home (laundry, breakfast, drop off for oldest kids) and worked even when kids were sick. Kids and us loved her, and she is still an important influence in our kids’ lives.

Nanny, kids don’t need daycare when there’s plenty of opportunity for play groups and classes to promote social skills while still getting 1:1 nanny attention.

We never considered getting a nanny (due to financial, space and personal preference of not wanting to deal with being an employer). We found a great daycare and love the stability of it - both that we know exactly when it is open and closed (except for the pandemic...) and that our child has been able to stay in the same place for 5 years with several consistent caregivers that know and adore her. Transition to preschool was super easy. Also because it was affordable for us we have been able to afford private therapies for her autism, which are making a huge difference.

The research suggests some small negative effects from putting a baby in daycare but there are so many other things that matter so much more, most importantly your parenting. So do what works best for your family. Nannies definitely have their advantages, not discounting that. Just know that a well vetted daycare can be a great option as well.

We chose nanny and will keep a FT nanny until the kids are old enough to drive.

Nanny until about 2.5/3.

Nanny all the way until 2-3 when the kid is ready to socialize.

We chose nanny and have never regretted it. We picked someone who was bilingual, looking for a long-term job, loves dogs, and is a social person. The kids left the house every single day - zoo, science museum, various playgrounds, picnics, various story hours at libraries, city events, etc. Our nanny made "nanny friends" and our kids to this day (mid elementary school) are still friends with some of those kids.

We had two cameras in our house when the kids were babies - one in the baby's bedroom, and one in the common area that showed kitchen, living room, dining room and hallway to bedrooms.

Some of my friends would talk about the stress of having to get their babies out the door in the morning, their babies getting woken out of naps by other kids, and I didn't have to deal with that at all. We arranged backup care in case the nanny was sick or for their vacations. So glad we chose a nanny.

We went with nanny and were very happy with our choice.

I get the oversight argument. We also have someone working from home most days (out of sight, out of the way, but not out of earshot) and that was very comforting to me. Also, the #1 thing I look for in a nanny is references. In fact, I get all my nannies from people on neighborhood listservs who no longer need their nanny and put out a reference. Then I ask for OTHER references and talk to them. It's the best way. When I was interviewing my current nanny, her previous employer insisted on driving her to my house and getting out the car to come and tell me in person how absolutely amazing she was. That's impossible to beat. I would take that, btw, over any degree. And in my experience, beloved, experienced nannies are available in this city, but nannies with degrees are much harder to find and cost much more (and for what? Having a degree in early childhood education isn't nearly as important in this line of work as experience).

Socializing is a red herring. They don't need this until age 3 or 4 in any formal way, and nannies all take kids to the park so they hang out with other kids anyway.

The annoyance of being a boss is real, but worth it, and IMHO, way less annoying that all the days off from daycare from sickness, which for most of the daycare families I know are ENDLESS that first winter.

The biggest difference that I don't see mentioned is quality naps and schedules. My kids have gotten a solid nap, in their room, in their bed, every day their whole lives. Some babies adjust great to napping in a bright noisy room at daycare. Some don't. And let's be honest - would you sleep well like that? No.

Plus the convenience. Drop off/pick up is a drag.

If money's not a blocker - nanny all the way.

Which is better? We were planning to get a nanny for our baby when he’s six to seven months old, but we’ve had a few people tell us that they thought daycare was the better choice due to not having to be someone’s boss, more oversight of care, and more socialization. I was hesitant to put such a young baby into daycare, but the point about oversight gives me pause. We’re looking to hire a professional nanny (i.e., someone who has a degree in early childhood education and sees this as a career) so we were hoping to avoid the horror stories about nannies who are distracted on their phones all day, but you can never really know. Any experiences/thoughts about which is better? Have you ever started with one and switched? Cost is not relevant to our decision.