Anonymous
02/29/2024 00:03
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
Anonymous wrote:Oh please. She’s a college senior asking for mommy’s help with this? I don’t buy it for a minute.
I hope to always be a sounding board for my kid, even in situations like this when I don’t have any ideas. I can always listen. OP - ignore this poster.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 22:39
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
I dare you to call them on the phone
Anonymous
02/28/2024 22:38
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a professor and had a professor like this in grad school. I went to my chair when I was the student, and he said he could do nothing. If the professor is tenured (likely so for your D), it would be a long process, and it would be hard to prove retaliation because it wouldn't take much to fail your D at this point.
In my case, my professor actively targeted me. I think I reminded him of his wife who had recently divorced him. Once I realized the criticism wasn't entirely rational, I was in a better frame of mind to cope and do whatever it took to survive. I started playing the part of convert and devotee to this professor asking to rewrite previous work and going far beyond the scope of assignments. I would also ask for guidance, not just on assignments, but on the application of theories or other topics that might appeal to the ego. There is a difference in a student who only asks about assignments and one who asks about ideas. I'll bet this professor has lots of sycophants but few devotees. Sell her on your commitment to the work, even if it is a snowjob. Commit. Survive.
Also, live long and prosper. Good luck!
Thank you, PP. That is disappointing to hear regarding the tenure. That is what the department head had told my daughter, but I didn't think that could be true. I appreciate your advice.
You're welcome. It may feel disappointing, but it is good to figure out asap in order to develop an effective approach. Once I knew this guy had done this to other students and any recourse was unlikely, it enabled me to shift my focus/energy. I made it all about tappung his expertise and he took the bait (his initials were "ME" so maybe that was a sign)! In the end, he complimented me on my work, and I went from a C (failing for grads) to an A. He thought he had done a phenomenal job teaching me, and, I guess, in a way he had. It was an acting class!!! Acting! Thank you!
Support your kid and help her reconcile that expecting any justice or course correction is likely wasted energy. Help her wow this person and sincerely kowtow. Have her take assignments that earned poor grades to the prof to ask how she can improve, not question any grading. Ask about prof's research as another PP suggested. She can get through this. It's its own kind of education.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 22:34
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
I agree, I had a similar situation. You have to figure out how to appease this person sufficiently. With mine, they held an annual memorial service (at the Jesuit school) for her mother & noted who attended.
In a weird way, it can be a valuable educational experience. Throughout your career, you have to figure out how to connect with others, bosses, people in positions of power - it’s not a bad lesson. Yes, a little weird & unfair, but it is a fair representation of life.
In a weird way, it can be a valuable educational experience. Throughout your career, you have to figure out how to connect with others, bosses, people in positions of power - it’s not a bad lesson. Yes, a little weird & unfair, but it is a fair representation of life.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 22:16
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
First, you should drop the helicopter. Second, consider that Larla is not completely blameless. The grades are not allowed to be arbitrary.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 22:16
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a professor and had a professor like this in grad school. I went to my chair when I was the student, and he said he could do nothing. If the professor is tenured (likely so for your D), it would be a long process, and it would be hard to prove retaliation because it wouldn't take much to fail your D at this point.
In my case, my professor actively targeted me. I think I reminded him of his wife who had recently divorced him. Once I realized the criticism wasn't entirely rational, I was in a better frame of mind to cope and do whatever it took to survive. I started playing the part of convert and devotee to this professor asking to rewrite previous work and going far beyond the scope of assignments. I would also ask for guidance, not just on assignments, but on the application of theories or other topics that might appeal to the ego. There is a difference in a student who only asks about assignments and one who asks about ideas. I'll bet this professor has lots of sycophants but few devotees. Sell her on your commitment to the work, even if it is a snowjob. Commit. Survive.
Also, live long and prosper. Good luck!
What this person said. Sometimes you just gotta kiss …
Along these lines. Have your DC look up the Prof's research, get into a bit and engage the prof on her (i.e., the prof's) best work.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 22:12
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
Anonymous wrote:She should have everything in writing emails if possible and write detailed and dated notes when having office hours.
Then I would go to the department chair and maybe a Dean? I don’t know what university she is at, but some have a class Dean for each year, college Deans, Dean of the Faculty? Dean of Student Wellness? I would go to one of those, but she needs concrete examples of what happened not just the professor doesn’t like me and won’t give me an A.
I had this once and as much as the Dean and others tried to help me (this was decades ago) the professor had too much sway. I ended up transferring universities ( was not my senior year and was not related to a grade but the actions of this person). I did great at my next university and went on to an excellent graduate school. My family who had gone to this university for a long time has not sent any family members since my leaving. My grandparents still gave $ (because they are old and I was blamed for a bit), but my aunts and uncles saw what happened to me and wouldn’t even let their kids apply! Again this was decades ago and the person isn’t there anymore.
I survived and it was a life lesson and a lesson that when someone tells you who they are believe them and you’ll have to navigate situations in life and your career that aren’t fair but that person has more “seniority”
Than you do that is how it goes sometimes. Doesn’t mean you should take it, but only your daughter knows what is happening. Some kids freak out if they are A students and they don’t get an A. Or they took a graduate level class in some department they had never studied before. Being interested in the material and themes doesn’t mean you actually are retaining the material/ doing what the course requires.
There is no pass/ fail she can switch the grade too and it is too late to drop the course? Ask her those questions too.
Thanks, PP. This is definitely not about getting an A. I wish I'd known earlier in the year about the situation. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 22:05
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
Anonymous wrote:I am a professor and had a professor like this in grad school. I went to my chair when I was the student, and he said he could do nothing. If the professor is tenured (likely so for your D), it would be a long process, and it would be hard to prove retaliation because it wouldn't take much to fail your D at this point.
In my case, my professor actively targeted me. I think I reminded him of his wife who had recently divorced him. Once I realized the criticism wasn't entirely rational, I was in a better frame of mind to cope and do whatever it took to survive. I started playing the part of convert and devotee to this professor asking to rewrite previous work and going far beyond the scope of assignments. I would also ask for guidance, not just on assignments, but on the application of theories or other topics that might appeal to the ego. There is a difference in a student who only asks about assignments and one who asks about ideas. I'll bet this professor has lots of sycophants but few devotees. Sell her on your commitment to the work, even if it is a snowjob. Commit. Survive.
Also, live long and prosper. Good luck!
Thank you, PP. That is disappointing to hear regarding the tenure. That is what the department head had told my daughter, but I didn't think that could be true. I appreciate your advice.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 22:00
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
Anonymous wrote:I am a professor and had a professor like this in grad school. I went to my chair when I was the student, and he said he could do nothing. If the professor is tenured (likely so for your D), it would be a long process, and it would be hard to prove retaliation because it wouldn't take much to fail your D at this point.
In my case, my professor actively targeted me. I think I reminded him of his wife who had recently divorced him. Once I realized the criticism wasn't entirely rational, I was in a better frame of mind to cope and do whatever it took to survive. I started playing the part of convert and devotee to this professor asking to rewrite previous work and going far beyond the scope of assignments. I would also ask for guidance, not just on assignments, but on the application of theories or other topics that might appeal to the ego. There is a difference in a student who only asks about assignments and one who asks about ideas. I'll bet this professor has lots of sycophants but few devotees. Sell her on your commitment to the work, even if it is a snowjob. Commit. Survive.
Also, live long and prosper. Good luck!
What this person said. Sometimes you just gotta kiss …
Anonymous
02/28/2024 21:59
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
She should have everything in writing emails if possible and write detailed and dated notes when having office hours.
Then I would go to the department chair and maybe a Dean? I don’t know what university she is at, but some have a class Dean for each year, college Deans, Dean of the Faculty? Dean of Student Wellness? I would go to one of those, but she needs concrete examples of what happened not just the professor doesn’t like me and won’t give me an A.
I had this once and as much as the Dean and others tried to help me (this was decades ago) the professor had too much sway. I ended up transferring universities ( was not my senior year and was not related to a grade but the actions of this person). I did great at my next university and went on to an excellent graduate school. My family who had gone to this university for a long time has not sent any family members since my leaving. My grandparents still gave $ (because they are old and I was blamed for a bit), but my aunts and uncles saw what happened to me and wouldn’t even let their kids apply! Again this was decades ago and the person isn’t there anymore.
I survived and it was a life lesson and a lesson that when someone tells you who they are believe them and you’ll have to navigate situations in life and your career that aren’t fair but that person has more “seniority”
Than you do that is how it goes sometimes. Doesn’t mean you should take it, but only your daughter knows what is happening. Some kids freak out if they are A students and they don’t get an A. Or they took a graduate level class in some department they had never studied before. Being interested in the material and themes doesn’t mean you actually are retaining the material/ doing what the course requires.
There is no pass/ fail she can switch the grade too and it is too late to drop the course? Ask her those questions too.
Then I would go to the department chair and maybe a Dean? I don’t know what university she is at, but some have a class Dean for each year, college Deans, Dean of the Faculty? Dean of Student Wellness? I would go to one of those, but she needs concrete examples of what happened not just the professor doesn’t like me and won’t give me an A.
I had this once and as much as the Dean and others tried to help me (this was decades ago) the professor had too much sway. I ended up transferring universities ( was not my senior year and was not related to a grade but the actions of this person). I did great at my next university and went on to an excellent graduate school. My family who had gone to this university for a long time has not sent any family members since my leaving. My grandparents still gave $ (because they are old and I was blamed for a bit), but my aunts and uncles saw what happened to me and wouldn’t even let their kids apply! Again this was decades ago and the person isn’t there anymore.
I survived and it was a life lesson and a lesson that when someone tells you who they are believe them and you’ll have to navigate situations in life and your career that aren’t fair but that person has more “seniority”
Than you do that is how it goes sometimes. Doesn’t mean you should take it, but only your daughter knows what is happening. Some kids freak out if they are A students and they don’t get an A. Or they took a graduate level class in some department they had never studied before. Being interested in the material and themes doesn’t mean you actually are retaining the material/ doing what the course requires.
There is no pass/ fail she can switch the grade too and it is too late to drop the course? Ask her those questions too.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 21:57
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
I am a professor and had a professor like this in grad school. I went to my chair when I was the student, and he said he could do nothing. If the professor is tenured (likely so for your D), it would be a long process, and it would be hard to prove retaliation because it wouldn't take much to fail your D at this point.
In my case, my professor actively targeted me. I think I reminded him of his wife who had recently divorced him. Once I realized the criticism wasn't entirely rational, I was in a better frame of mind to cope and do whatever it took to survive. I started playing the part of convert and devotee to this professor asking to rewrite previous work and going far beyond the scope of assignments. I would also ask for guidance, not just on assignments, but on the application of theories or other topics that might appeal to the ego. There is a difference in a student who only asks about assignments and one who asks about ideas. I'll bet this professor has lots of sycophants but few devotees. Sell her on your commitment to the work, even if it is a snowjob. Commit. Survive.
Also, live long and prosper. Good luck!
In my case, my professor actively targeted me. I think I reminded him of his wife who had recently divorced him. Once I realized the criticism wasn't entirely rational, I was in a better frame of mind to cope and do whatever it took to survive. I started playing the part of convert and devotee to this professor asking to rewrite previous work and going far beyond the scope of assignments. I would also ask for guidance, not just on assignments, but on the application of theories or other topics that might appeal to the ego. There is a difference in a student who only asks about assignments and one who asks about ideas. I'll bet this professor has lots of sycophants but few devotees. Sell her on your commitment to the work, even if it is a snowjob. Commit. Survive.
Also, live long and prosper. Good luck!
Anonymous
02/28/2024 21:52
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
Anonymous wrote:Oh please. She’s a college senior asking for mommy’s help with this? I don’t buy it for a minute.
You’re unkind. I hope my kids always come to me for advice. Sorry OP, she’s stuck, I think. Unless maybe the whole class is in agreement.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 21:52
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
I’m assuming she takes advantage of office hours every single week?
Anonymous
02/28/2024 21:36
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
Oh please. She’s a college senior asking for mommy’s help with this? I don’t buy it for a minute.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 21:35
Subject: Navigating Bad Professors -- Advice for Kid
I've got a kid at college who asked for advice on how to navigate an issue they're having in their senior thesis class. This kid, a very good student, is in danger of failing this thesis class, which is the final requirement for their major.
The professor is arbitrary and a very, very hard, and inconsistent grader. They will tell my daughter one thing, but grade her on another. They will give very short, unreasonable deadlines for very big, complicated assignments. There is more along these lines, but I don't want to go into more detail.
This professor apparently has a reputation and previous years' students have gone to the department chair, but nothing has happened as the department chair said there is nothing they can do because that professor has tenure, which seems like BS to me. My daughter registered for the class because of the theme, which is very meaningful to her, not thinking it would be as bad as people said, but it's worse. She would have switched out, but you are not allowed. There had been some indication earlier in the year that some of these issues may be temporary, but that hope has not panned out.
Students in the class have tried unsuccessfully to reason with the professor and my daughter has approached her as well. This class has sucked the passion out of what she had for the major, but she still wants to pass this class so she can graduate.
Does my daughter have any recourse, and if so, how can I advise her how to navigate this so she does not fail, worst case, and best case so that she has clear and reasonable expectations from the professor? She is concerned about retaliation should she approach the department head herself. Thank you.
The professor is arbitrary and a very, very hard, and inconsistent grader. They will tell my daughter one thing, but grade her on another. They will give very short, unreasonable deadlines for very big, complicated assignments. There is more along these lines, but I don't want to go into more detail.
This professor apparently has a reputation and previous years' students have gone to the department chair, but nothing has happened as the department chair said there is nothing they can do because that professor has tenure, which seems like BS to me. My daughter registered for the class because of the theme, which is very meaningful to her, not thinking it would be as bad as people said, but it's worse. She would have switched out, but you are not allowed. There had been some indication earlier in the year that some of these issues may be temporary, but that hope has not panned out.
Students in the class have tried unsuccessfully to reason with the professor and my daughter has approached her as well. This class has sucked the passion out of what she had for the major, but she still wants to pass this class so she can graduate.
Does my daughter have any recourse, and if so, how can I advise her how to navigate this so she does not fail, worst case, and best case so that she has clear and reasonable expectations from the professor? She is concerned about retaliation should she approach the department head herself. Thank you.