Anonymous
02/27/2024 17:34
Subject: Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:He's rude but some rich people want constant proof that people aren't after their money. Making you treat, and ordering a bizarre amount of food, while bragging about first class international flights - it all seems like a test to me.
I'd let DH say something if something has to be said, but I'd probably just suck it up. Not because he's not rude (yes, of course he is) but because it's infrequent. He lives across the country; call it a quirk and decide not to be bothered.
Op here. This is really interesting. I never thought about it as a test. We expect to inherit absolutely nothing given the longevity in DH’s family. Furthermore, we are comfortable and just fine on our two fed salaries and don’t need anything really. I admit it would be great to fly first class but as long as I can afford to go on trips I’m ok being wedged into economy.
I am inclined to suck it up too. My FIL does not have a lot of joy in his life sadly, and if eating the pasta and the chicken makes him happy, fine I guess. I do silently feel annoyed though. I have to admit once the waiter returned when FIL was in the bathroom and just wanted to confirm FIL ordered two entrees. I canceled the second entree. I lived off that small victory for the remainder of his time at my house.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 17:29
Subject: Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Am I a jerk for getting annoyed that FIL orders two entrees, an appetizer, and a dessert every time we pay the restaurant bill?
My husband and I are both feds and make a nice living but live pretty frugally since we have two kids with lots of expenses. Every time we visit our father in law who lives across the country or when he visits here, FIL insists we pay for everything. I find this annoying because FIL is wealthy (my husband has seen his financial records) and he brags about things like never flying economy when he visits Europe (which happens at least once a year).
FIL rarely pays for anything, ever except maybe the occasional fast food lunch where won’t let the kids order happy meals because they’re “too expensive”. I don’t know why this bugs me so much but it does. I have never seen anyone order two entrees at once. Is this normal? No he’s not fat, just chubby.
You’re not a jerk, he’s rude. It’s basic manners if someone else is picking up the tab for your order to significantly exceed theirs.
Knowing he’s going to stick you with the bill, I think you should modify your dinner plans. Maybe you should take him out to McDonalds. You can even splurge and get him two happy meals.
Op here, thanks for the giggle!
Anonymous
02/27/2024 17:12
Subject: Two entrees?
I am normally very anti being passive aggressive but agree in this case it's called for.
He clearly wants you to prove your love through money and he's testing boundaries. Next time he visits make a frozen pizza and bagged salad one night, a frozen meal from Trader Joe's another, etc. Keep the meals on the less expensive side and at home. If he talks about going out to eat say that with inflation unfortunately it's not in your budget these days.
He clearly wants you to prove your love through money and he's testing boundaries. Next time he visits make a frozen pizza and bagged salad one night, a frozen meal from Trader Joe's another, etc. Keep the meals on the less expensive side and at home. If he talks about going out to eat say that with inflation unfortunately it's not in your budget these days.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:02
Subject: Two entrees?
We not stick to fast food then. “Hey FIL, we would love to go to the restaurant, but we just don’t have the right xtra money during this trip, I’ll happily treat you for Arbys or Dominos
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:02
Subject: Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:He's rude but some rich people want constant proof that people aren't after their money. Making you treat, and ordering a bizarre amount of food, while bragging about first class international flights - it all seems like a test to me.
I'd let DH say something if something has to be said, but I'd probably just suck it up. Not because he's not rude (yes, of course he is) but because it's infrequent. He lives across the country; call it a quirk and decide not to be bothered.
This is spot on.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 15:58
Subject: Two entrees?
He's rude but some rich people want constant proof that people aren't after their money. Making you treat, and ordering a bizarre amount of food, while bragging about first class international flights - it all seems like a test to me.
I'd let DH say something if something has to be said, but I'd probably just suck it up. Not because he's not rude (yes, of course he is) but because it's infrequent. He lives across the country; call it a quirk and decide not to be bothered.
I'd let DH say something if something has to be said, but I'd probably just suck it up. Not because he's not rude (yes, of course he is) but because it's infrequent. He lives across the country; call it a quirk and decide not to be bothered.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 15:51
Subject: Two entrees?
Stop going to restaurants with him.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 15:51
Subject: Two entrees?
Terribly rude. He should watch "About My Father " with Robert deNiro where he teaches his kid to only order from the middle. No apps, no dessert. He would flip if there were any talk about tWO entrees!
Anonymous
02/27/2024 15:49
Subject: Two entrees?
It bothers you because he is taking advantage of you.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 15:48
Subject: Two entrees?
Oh my goodness that is so rude. I love the suggestion to take him to McDonalds and treat him to a happy meal.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 15:46
Subject: Two entrees?
Anonymous wrote:Am I a jerk for getting annoyed that FIL orders two entrees, an appetizer, and a dessert every time we pay the restaurant bill?
My husband and I are both feds and make a nice living but live pretty frugally since we have two kids with lots of expenses. Every time we visit our father in law who lives across the country or when he visits here, FIL insists we pay for everything. I find this annoying because FIL is wealthy (my husband has seen his financial records) and he brags about things like never flying economy when he visits Europe (which happens at least once a year).
FIL rarely pays for anything, ever except maybe the occasional fast food lunch where won’t let the kids order happy meals because they’re “too expensive”. I don’t know why this bugs me so much but it does. I have never seen anyone order two entrees at once. Is this normal? No he’s not fat, just chubby.
You’re not a jerk, he’s rude. It’s basic manners if someone else is picking up the tab for your order to significantly exceed theirs.
Knowing he’s going to stick you with the bill, I think you should modify your dinner plans. Maybe you should take him out to McDonalds. You can even splurge and get him two happy meals.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 15:44
Subject: Re:Two entrees?
Better yet just stop going out to dinner with him and invite him over to your place instead for spaghetti, pizza or something else cheap and easy. If he complains you can tell him that the dinners out have gotten too expensive and you are trying to cut back on costs.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 15:40
Subject: Two entrees?
No, but you’re a chump for continuing to pay for him. If he has no trouble telling your kids that a happy meal is too expensive when he is buying himself first class airfare why can’t you just call him out on his behavior and tell him that two entrees is beyond your budget with childcare costs, college to save for, etc?
Anonymous
02/27/2024 15:38
Subject: Two entrees?
“Hey Dan, appetizer and dessert is fine, but we’re only paying for one entree tonight. If you want a second entree, please get a second check.”
Open your mouth.
Open your mouth.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 15:32
Subject: Two entrees?
Am I a jerk for getting annoyed that FIL orders two entrees, an appetizer, and a dessert every time we pay the restaurant bill?
My husband and I are both feds and make a nice living but live pretty frugally since we have two kids with lots of expenses. Every time we visit our father in law who lives across the country or when he visits here, FIL insists we pay for everything. I find this annoying because FIL is wealthy (my husband has seen his financial records) and he brags about things like never flying economy when he visits Europe (which happens at least once a year).
FIL rarely pays for anything, ever except maybe the occasional fast food lunch where won’t let the kids order happy meals because they’re “too expensive”. I don’t know why this bugs me so much but it does. I have never seen anyone order two entrees at once. Is this normal? No he’s not fat, just chubby.
My husband and I are both feds and make a nice living but live pretty frugally since we have two kids with lots of expenses. Every time we visit our father in law who lives across the country or when he visits here, FIL insists we pay for everything. I find this annoying because FIL is wealthy (my husband has seen his financial records) and he brags about things like never flying economy when he visits Europe (which happens at least once a year).
FIL rarely pays for anything, ever except maybe the occasional fast food lunch where won’t let the kids order happy meals because they’re “too expensive”. I don’t know why this bugs me so much but it does. I have never seen anyone order two entrees at once. Is this normal? No he’s not fat, just chubby.