Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old self would see a kid at a wedding in jeans and be appalled at how disrespectful and trashy they were.

My 45 year old self (who, fwiw is very well dressed and has lots of money) now sees that and thinks "I bet that parent was like meh I'm not going to waste $150 on a one-time wear". Which seems very reasonable to me.

You definitely don't have to spend $150 on a nice outfit.

It's the shoes that are brutal. I don't think my 12 year old DS has even gone longer than 6 months in his life that his shoe size didn't change. He likes to throw on the same sneakers every day. So when the once every 8 months "semi formal" event comes along (wedding, school recital etc), his nikes won't cut it. Yes, a lot of the kids wear "appropriate" sneakers like olukai or vans or cheaper versions, but my son isn't wearing those shoes other than for that event. So whether i buy 'nice' sneakers or formal shoes, I still need to buy him a pair of shoes that he will literally never wear again. And the last ones i did were like $60 on amazon for no name brand black slip ons. Throw in minimum $40 for a cheap pair of khaki pants and $30 for a button up, plus some taxes, and you're at $150. Hard to do it for cheaper at age 12. fwiw the shoes i bought in december for his last recital, i bought TWO sizes too big so he could make it to his May recital. And he had to walk funny across the school stage to keep them on. I felt bad.....

You def don't have to buy something. Khakis or slacks and some kind of collared shirt are fine. My kids each have a pair of
dress shoes that we wear to church/holidays/or anything dressy, but if you don't already own something like that, I think clean sneakers would be fine. All the families I know would feel terrible if someone felt they had to purchase special clothing for a bat mitzvah.

Last one we went to (as guests), I found vest and tie combos on Amazon that were not expensive. One twin wore a matching red silk vest with a bowtie and the other wore a matching silk blue vest with a neck tie. We had black slacks and white shirts for both of them.

It was cheaper to get the vest combos that to get a jacket/blazer which my kids would not use again before they grew out of them. We got a lot of compliments on their outfits from family and friends.

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old self would see a kid at a wedding in jeans and be appalled at how disrespectful and trashy they were.

My 45 year old self (who, fwiw is very well dressed and has lots of money) now sees that and thinks "I bet that parent was like meh I'm not going to waste $150 on a one-time wear". Which seems very reasonable to me.

You definitely don't have to spend $150 on a nice outfit.

I agree don’t buy anything but whatever looking nice means for your family. Khakis and a buttondown shirt or sweater is fine.

My 25 year old self would see a kid at a wedding in jeans and be appalled at how disrespectful and trashy they were.

My 45 year old self (who, fwiw is very well dressed and has lots of money) now sees that and thinks "I bet that parent was like meh I'm not going to waste $150 on a one-time wear". Which seems very reasonable to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will be a range. I have seen kids in jeans, sneakers and a polo. I have seen kids in suits and everything in between. Personally, I would not send it jeans but I would not buy a jacket just for that either.

Thanks. I was worried I’d have to buy a jacket.

You definitely don't have to buy a jacket. Khakis and a button down (polo also OK) with clean sneakers is the standard dress. (I have a 12 yo that has attended 10+ Bnai Mitzvahs this past year.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will be a range. I have seen kids in jeans, sneakers and a polo. I have seen kids in suits and everything in between. Personally, I would not send it jeans but I would not buy a jacket just for that either.

Thanks. I was worried I’d have to buy a jacket.

Not necessary

A suit minus the tie. We dress nicely in our family.

Anonymous wrote:It will be a range. I have seen kids in jeans, sneakers and a polo. I have seen kids in suits and everything in between. Personally, I would not send it jeans but I would not buy a jacket just for that either.

Wearing jeans, sneakers and a polo is very disrespectful. Don't do that OP.

Anonymous wrote:It will be a range. I have seen kids in jeans, sneakers and a polo. I have seen kids in suits and everything in between. Personally, I would not send it jeans but I would not buy a jacket just for that either.

Thanks. I was worried I’d have to buy a jacket.

Anything from khakis to suits. Clean sneakers are fine; jeans/joggers/sweats are not.

It will be a range. I have seen kids in jeans, sneakers and a polo. I have seen kids in suits and everything in between. Personally, I would not send it jeans but I would not buy a jacket just for that either.

As guests? Mine wore khakis, a tie/shirt, and a blazer. The Bar Mitzvah kids wore suits.

It's in the morning.

THX