Our generation of people made plenty of stupid decisions. It’s part of adulting - learning the hard way.

Glass houses?

did you not make any stupid decisions at that age? I did!

No snark here, but are they living at home? Did they work high school and college summers?

From college graduation at 22 to 29 now, mine has bounced around a lot between several states, several jobs but has always supported himself. He's entered into more leases than I can count. He is advancing professionally. At every turn we have had suggestions that didn't interest him. I don't think we can offer anything of value when it comes to advice.

Anonymous wrote:Totally sympathize. And it is scary. We have one that despite having a fully paid for education, seems determined to consign themselves to the working poor by their minimum wage/no benefit job choices since they have been unable to find the "perfect fit". This, despite being warned that they will be off our health insurance at age 26.

Are they stable, good people? Maybe they will marry well. I have never made more than 45k, but I married well at 25yo, a great guy with a good income, and I am doing just fantastic in life. I'm also responsible, capable and not a big spender which all helps.

Totally sympathize. And it is scary. We have one that despite having a fully paid for education, seems determined to consign themselves to the working poor by their minimum wage/no benefit job choices since they have been unable to find the "perfect fit". This, despite being warned that they will be off our health insurance at age 26.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bigger kids, bigger problems. It is exhausting.

. +1

I really relate to this as well.

My adult child has ASD/ADHD. The goal is to get him financially independent. Anything else, like a successful career or a significant other, will be a bonus.

We will help him however we can, but we can't live his life for him.

There are numerous adult kids in my extended family who are making stupid decisions, all one can do is stand back and watch. I'm not seeing their parents having a lot of influence either.

There are also numerous adult kids in my extended family making smart decisions and it's hard to identify what are the factors that make the difference in those who are making stupid vs smart decisions. Doesn't seem to have a whole lot to do with effective parenting, sorry.

Anonymous wrote:Bigger kids, bigger problems. It is exhausting.

. +1

It's part of the process - nobody talks about it but I often have lunches with friends lamenting how their kids with super expensive educations are unable to launch both financially and romantically. Even without knowing your issue, as the mom of early-mid 20-somethings I can assure you you are not alone.

Bigger kids, bigger problems. It is exhausting.

Okay.

How ?

This hurts.