Save money to give them more college choices. Don't saddle them with in-state only, only the top few. Don't saddle them w/the expectation of a certain level of prestige.

Younger years were much more difficult for me. I love this age. The changes are exciting and I’m getting a glimpse at the adults they are becoming.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having teens is horrible for me. There is always one in a bad mood, nothing is fun anymore. There is too much to worry about with grades, activities, college coming up. Am I the only one? I hate it.

You are not the only one.

+1

It is really hard. Younger kid years were my happy place.

I feel this way and don't even have a teen yet.

I guess it doesn't get better.

I kind of like not feeling responsible for their social lives. They can be in charge of their own friendships and leave me out of it.

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP. I feel the same. I have 3 close in age and the early years were exhausting but from ages 5-12 things were great. I had so much fun with them. Now 14-17: ugh. They are grumpy, often silent, scoff at my advice, etc. it’s nothing dramatic and we don’t actively fight or have drama, it’s just not fun parenting anymore. I will say my 17 year old is emerging a bit more to engage with me so I am hopeful maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel. But, then I know he will be leaving for college soon. I try to feel fortunately had the wonderful elementary years with them and now I’m just trying to get them over “the finish line”.

Ok, think back to when you were a teen... OK. Enough said.

I feel you OP. I feel the same. I have 3 close in age and the early years were exhausting but from ages 5-12 things were great. I had so much fun with them. Now 14-17: ugh. They are grumpy, often silent, scoff at my advice, etc. it’s nothing dramatic and we don’t actively fight or have drama, it’s just not fun parenting anymore. I will say my 17 year old is emerging a bit more to engage with me so I am hopeful maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel. But, then I know he will be leaving for college soon. I try to feel fortunately had the wonderful elementary years with them and now I’m just trying to get them over “the finish line”.

Anonymous wrote:Having teens is horrible for me. There is always one in a bad mood, nothing is fun anymore. There is too much to worry about with grades, activities, college coming up. Am I the only one? I hate it.

Different parents find different things difficult. I did not like babies and toddlers. I get along great with my teens (and am ok being the venting board for their issues). It’s ok to not like this stage. The key point is that you are going to get back to enjoying them at some point. Sending hugs!

Anonymous wrote:The only way to reverse things: stop worrying and stressing about all these things. Let them do activities they enjoy and don’t pressure them. Let them have some fun and you go & do the same!

I did not put them in any activities. This is just school and sports at school. They unload everything on me, all the time.

The only way to reverse things: stop worrying and stressing about all these things. Let them do activities they enjoy and don’t pressure them. Let them have some fun and you go & do the same!

Anonymous wrote:Having teens is horrible for me. There is always one in a bad mood, nothing is fun anymore. There is too much to worry about with grades, activities, college coming up. Am I the only one? I hate it.

You are not the only one.

Different parents are going to find different stages to be easier or more difficult. Do your best and try not to agonize. This is temporary, things will change as they mature. It’s ok not to love this stage OP, it really is.

Figure out some ways that you can you improve how you feel. Ultimately we control less than we think we do in the teen years. Before you let something drive you ever the edge, ask yourself what kind of relationship you hope to have in 5-10 years. Don’t check out, but only go to the mat on the essentials.

Keep offering occasional positive shared activities and don’t get upset when they say no. They will remember that you showed up when they were insufferable, and sometimes they might say yes.

I like having teens, but my kids were extremely difficult when they were little. They’ve mellowed. And they aren’t in many activities.

Having teens is horrible for me. There is always one in a bad mood, nothing is fun anymore. There is too much to worry about with grades, activities, college coming up. Am I the only one? I hate it.