Anonymous
Post 02/28/2024 22:34     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
Anonymous wrote:One just opened in my residential neighborhood. I haven’t toured it but the website concerns me because loved ones need to let them know in advance when they’re coming. No thank you.


A lot of people get really routine oriented and even rigid with age. You can set off a ton of unneeded anxiety by just stopping my.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2024 14:23     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
I haven't had direct experience, but I think it depends on the particular home. I have an elderly aquaintence who, after several falls, was moved to a nursing home near her extended family. After the facility suddenly shut down (news footage of confused elderly and panicking families loading car trunks) she moved to a small place with 5 other ladies and some staff. She is happy and healthy there, near her family who see her often and visit there too.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2024 12:35     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
Anonymous wrote:It depends on the facility. I looked at some through long-term care medicaid and they were horrible. But, I've seen others that have a good reputation and much nicer.


The places that are horrible are largely due to corporations cutting corners at every possible point. If folks don't want horrible facilities, then they should support elected officials and policy that establish minimum staffing levels and require a threshold of monies to be put back into the facilities. I had two relatives in SNFs: the one in a nonprofit had dedicated staff for daily activities and the one in a for-profit only had activities when volunteers showed up, nearly always religious with programming completely focused on Bible reading and hymns. That's great for those residents who observe accordingly - the volunteers were lovely.

But when that is a center's ONLY programming, well, that's awful.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2024 12:30     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
Anonymous wrote:Some preparation is reasonable. There is a routine.


yeah, i can see how a relative showing up during a key transition point could be disruptive, especially for residents who struggle with routine.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2024 12:29     Subject: Re:How are home-based assisted livings?
OP, there are lots of good insights here, including that a very difficult person in a small setting could get toxic quickly for the other residents.

Our mom remained at home and ended up bypassing AL and entering directly into memory care when the move finally happened. Unlike CW, she flourished with the move. She benefited from the routine and socialization, even if she didn't directly participate in the activities - she liked to sit on the side and comment. She was in a non-profit setting. There was only one staff member whom I didn't care for and that's because he was always shirking pulling his weight during the shift.

This is not an easy phase for a LO. Finding a place where staff generally want to be can be key to a good environment.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2024 17:35     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
It depends on the facility. I looked at some through long-term care medicaid and they were horrible. But, I've seen others that have a good reputation and much nicer.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2024 15:14     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
Some preparation is reasonable. There is a routine.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2024 10:47     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
One just opened in my residential neighborhood. I haven’t toured it but the website concerns me because loved ones need to let them know in advance when they’re coming. No thank you.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2024 10:01     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
I think it could either be wonderful or a disaster. A friend's family has had a very positive experience. But yes, a negative strong personality could poison a smaller well quickly.

I'd spend time and get a sense of an individual place and caregivers (although there is often turn over) before ruling it out. It can be a middle ground between at home with caregivers and a large facility. That it can also be more affordable can't be dismissed out of hand.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2024 09:57     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a friend whose father is in one. He has dementia and Parkinson’s. They can’t afford anything else. I don’t agree that all assisted living places are depressing. There are some very nice ones, but yeah the dementia floors are just awful. So sad. I wouldn’t want to live like that.


Yes, the ALs my family members have been in are beautiful and lively. I actually think the MC is far superior to what they get at home because at least they have nice gardens and they still offer activities. Have you had a family member age at home with dementia and caregivers? it's absolutely awful and the neighbors saw it as a huge safety risk for all. Much harder to keep the person properly medicated too so you don't have a constant turnover of burned out staff. People who think it's cruel to use a lot of medication have never dealt with a highly abusive and rage filled elderly person. Plus, these facilities want to work with the family so you are part of the team. they don't just pile on meds the second you walk in the door. It's a process.


I watched my dad die at home, as was his wish. I also witness him in horrible pain because my mom, who was a nurse, didn't keep up with him meds. I would not wish that ending on anyone.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2024 09:49     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
Anonymous wrote:I have a friend whose father is in one. He has dementia and Parkinson’s. They can’t afford anything else. I don’t agree that all assisted living places are depressing. There are some very nice ones, but yeah the dementia floors are just awful. So sad. I wouldn’t want to live like that.


Yes, the ALs my family members have been in are beautiful and lively. I actually think the MC is far superior to what they get at home because at least they have nice gardens and they still offer activities. Have you had a family member age at home with dementia and caregivers? it's absolutely awful and the neighbors saw it as a huge safety risk for all. Much harder to keep the person properly medicated too so you don't have a constant turnover of burned out staff. People who think it's cruel to use a lot of medication have never dealt with a highly abusive and rage filled elderly person. Plus, these facilities want to work with the family so you are part of the team. they don't just pile on meds the second you walk in the door. It's a process.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2024 09:45     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
Also, Re: "they're all depressing" I can tell you an elderly person rotting in front of the TV with neighbors moving away and friends to AL is far more depressing. We saw a faster decline and then once we finally moved FIL, after an adjustment period he seemed to age backward as he made friends and developed a life that was far more worth living.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2024 09:44     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
I have a friend whose father is in one. He has dementia and Parkinson’s. They can’t afford anything else. I don’t agree that all assisted living places are depressing. There are some very nice ones, but yeah the dementia floors are just awful. So sad. I wouldn’t want to live like that.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2024 09:43     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
At the AL level they are often still capable of forming friendships, going on social outings, etc, so a larger facility is better for finding your people, going to shows/dinner/movies/sites. If you have a difficult resident at a small residential care home it will become toxic fast whereas in a larger setting it's much easier to avoid them.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2024 09:17     Subject: How are home-based assisted livings?
I think these are also called “residential care homes.” It’s essentially a small house converted to an assisted living. There are 4-8 elderly residents and a couple caregivers. I’ve toured some and they’re all depressing (but so are the larger facilities), but maybe someone’s had a good experience with them?