Anonymous wrote:I have seen most mothers take 12 weeks and very few fathers take more than a couple of weeks. As men get higher in the hierarchy they seem to take less, the SES who leads my program adopted a child and took zero paternity days. I guess different agencies have different cultures but in mine the fathers rarely take close to 12 weeks.

That’s a shame. When we adopted our child as an older infant, the adoption agency highly encouraged both parents to take at least a couple of months off to bond with their new child. We each took three months off so our kid had 6 months home.

When I gave birth to our second child, we were out of leave (no parental leave for the feds at that time) but my husband still took 1 month off. As an office director now, he very much encourages new parents to take as much time as they are given or want.

Anonymous wrote:Most ppl will side eye you if you don’t take the full 12 these days

+1 you would be setting a bad example for your staff and making them feel like they can't take a decent parental leave.

I took 5 months as a govt supervisor, some unpaid. Someone acted in my place and it was a good growth opportunity for them. Org had plenty of advance notice to adjust.

keep in mind the birthing parent is entitled to 6 to 8 weeks (8 for c-section) medical leave before the parental leave.

the first person to take the then-new parental leave in my division was a guy who actually was promoted to branch chief a only a few weeks before he took the full 12 weeks.

take the leave. take all the leave you are entitled to. Folks will cope.

I took five months each time. This was before parental leave.

I have seen most mothers take 12 weeks and very few fathers take more than a couple of weeks. As men get higher in the hierarchy they seem to take less, the SES who leads my program adopted a child and took zero paternity days. I guess different agencies have different cultures but in mine the fathers rarely take close to 12 weeks.

Take the full time and more if you can! I am not a fed but work with a lot of feds who are at a SES level and they all take leave for maternity/paternity, medical issues, vacations, etc. Even Secretary Buttegig took paid parental leave. Also agree that as a manager you are in a position to set the tone. I agree that can be very uncomfortable and have definitely been in that role myself but please take the time you are entitled to and prioritize your well-being (including mental health!) and your child when you return to work. Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

Yes, if anything managers take more time than others.

Most ppl will side eye you if you don’t take the full 12 these days

OP here--thanks everyone! To be clear no one has said anything to suggest that they would be judgey about it, this is just me being overly self-conscious. These responses definitely make me feel better about taking the leave though

Anonymous wrote:Supervisors set the example for their teams. If you don't take it, that sends a message that you may not support your employees as parents and people outside of work if they want to use those benefits. If you do, that's a positive contribution to workplace culture, IMO.

This

Supervisors set the example for their teams. If you don't take it, that sends a message that you may not support your employees as parents and people outside of work if they want to use those benefits. If you do, that's a positive contribution to workplace culture, IMO.

Fed for 10 years and I've never seen an issue with Moms taking their leave and was pleasantly surprised to see the Dad's take theirs as well. DO IT and as already stated with some advance notice to them your assistant chief and team should be able to rally around the flag and ensure no beats are missed during your absence.

You should really take the full 12 weeks. As long as you give everyone a couple months (a month would be ok but a couple months would be better in case the baby comes early) notice to plan for your absence, it will be fine.

If the work culture is making you question this and people work a lot more than 40 hours a week, you might want to consider getting a new job down the line.

My supervisor took six months, so in my office, no. Our SES director took 10 weeks when his daughter was born.

It’s the feds - what would a side eye be exactly? You can’t be fired or transferred, so who cares if people are a little snippy when you first come back for the first few weeks? You will never get that time back with the baby.

If you work in the federal government, do managers take maternity/paternity leave? I know they are technically entitled but as far as I can remember only one other manager had a baby in my department while I have worked there and he (man) took only a week or two. I just got promoted to branch chief (not SES) and am newly pregnant. Will I get the side-eye if I take a full 12 weeks?