Anonymous wrote:This year, 2024? This is a lot. Paid by dad's child support, I don't earn enough to cover this.
For one child:
Around $1300 for one child. I signed her up for four art classes at about $275 each so she'd have somewhere to go on cold days after school. That's 6-8 weeks between late January and March. Plus $85 for a ticket to Shen Yun and $45 for a one-day class. But that's not regular spending for us. That was seasonal while sun sets early and parks unappealing. When current classes end and seasons change, class time will be replaced by free time out at the park.
P
Sorry, sent too early. In addition to the seasonal $1300 there's the summer camp fees. About $1k already paid and another $1k due.
I'm in the same boat as you in that this is very expensive. We have 3 kids. The older girl from previous marriage has dad to pay for her. But for our 2 younger kids, no way to keep up. Will probably move to a less expensive area when the federal contract I work for ends.
Re:
Does it get better? Where do you get the energy after work? How are you finding time for yourself and for your spouse?
Does it get better? I hope so
My hope with the younger 2 kids, we will be able to spend much less on activity and they'll be fine because as parents we have a peaceful, happy home and weekend trips and all that. Dad is an involved parent, knows much, great at explaining. Our weekend trips are usually supposed to be somewhat educational- farms, Shenandoah caves, that kind of thing. We try to choose movies and books and all that for quality, so aiming to raise well rounded without spending many thousands.
How are you finding time for yourself and for your spouse?
This is hard. Kids are 1, 4, 9. We aim for an "just 15 minutes a day" of alone time, but that's a wish. The way he and I spend time together is that he reads interesting articles to me when I'm busy in the kitchen. Or we call and talk on his long drive to work.
For self time, it's having a hobby and finding just a bit for this daily. I'm learning about gardening. Yesterday, read for probably 20 minutes, mostly while kids took a bath with the door open and I was in the next room within view. And then another 10 minutes to plant some seeds. So just eking out bits of time here and there has been the solution, and it works to keep moving forward.
Keep your head up. It's overwhelming but there are ways to make time for husband and self, to spend less.