Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. This person did something close to a double red-shirt?

My DS is early October, and is one of the older 3rd graders at 9.

But you're saying this kid missed the cutoff by a few days and is already 9, but that would basically mean they were a full year older than even the oldest kids?

Anyway, I feel you OP. I'm SO TIRED of my best friend complaining that her son isn't challenged in school. If you wanted to your kid to be challenged, put him in the GD grade he's supposed to be in!

NP but I think it goes like this:

Young Five the 5yo just before the cutoff, immediately turns 6

Kindergarten at 6, immediately turns 7

1st at 7, immediately 8

2nd at 8, immediately 9

This is bonkers to me - of course, my kid is a few days before the cutoff in the school system she started in, and a few days after in our new school district. There are several girls who are 11 months or so older than her, and I think a handful of boys who are 16-18 moths older than her, but I can’t think if any girls (or boys) who are almost 2 years older than her. I only know ages because my daughter was fixated on them and complained about being younger in 2nd/3rd grade.

I also know she’d have felt like we didn’t have any confidence in her abilities if we red shirted her, because all her pre-K friends were going into K.

When I was looking at start dates, I did see one school system say they might move kids who were older 6 year olds into first grade directly- but I haven’t heard of that happening.

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. This person did something close to a double red-shirt?

My DS is early October, and is one of the older 3rd graders at 9.

But you're saying this kid missed the cutoff by a few days and is already 9, but that would basically mean they were a full year older than even the oldest kids?

Anyway, I feel you OP. I'm SO TIRED of my best friend complaining that her son isn't challenged in school. If you wanted to your kid to be challenged, put him in the GD grade he's supposed to be in!

NP but I think it goes like this:

Young Five the 5yo just before the cutoff, immediately turns 6

Kindergarten at 6, immediately turns 7

1st at 7, immediately 8

2nd at 8, immediately 9

I'm confused. This person did something close to a double red-shirt?

My DS is early October, and is one of the older 3rd graders at 9.

But you're saying this kid missed the cutoff by a few days and is already 9, but that would basically mean they were a full year older than even the oldest kids?

Anyway, I feel you OP. I'm SO TIRED of my best friend complaining that her son isn't challenged in school. If you wanted to your kid to be challenged, put him in the GD grade he's supposed to be in!

Bad Mother ~ ignore
or have her explain herself

What would you do besides ignore? Why do you even care?

You don’t know the reasons why they waited to start school at a later age. Maybe they have SN and spent the first 7 years of their life doing intensive home programs so the child could be near grade level by age 9. And maybe the child being in 2nd reading at level 3 is something they would never have imagined being possible when the child could not even talk until age 3. So yeah MYOB.

I’m fascinated by parents who keep track of other classmates’ ages- weird. I only know the birthdays of my kids’ close friends. Even at the big birthday parties when they were in early elementary , I don’t think I even noticed what age the kid was turning (if it was mentioned at all). I do know a few kids are redshirted or very young for grade due to being a different travel sports age (up or down) than mine, but I’ve never thought much about it. My kids’ birthdays are all right in the middle for grade so maybe that is why.

“Hmmm, that’s good. Your 9 year old is reading at a 9 year old level. You’d be a bit concerned if she wasn’t though, wouldn’t you?”

“Hmmm. Yes, it is unfair that kids are separated by grade for sports in school instead of by age. Luckily real sports clubs separate by age like they should. You might have some trouble in the future when your daughter needs to compete against people her own age.”

Just ignore. I have 2 kids who stared “on time” but have birthdays just before and after the cutoff date - so I have experience with having both the youngest and the oldest (non-redshirted) kid in the class.

The age difference is glaringly obvious in K and 1st - especially between a young oldest or only child and an older child who also has older siblings. 3rd grade was the first year I didn’t observe other kids or see work displayed during back to school night and wonder if I should have held my summer birthday kid. In 4th and 5th, I have forgotten who the red-shirted kids are unless I get a BD invite and my kid is keeping up socially and academically.

Because my young-for-grade kid was my first, it has made me more sensitive other parents’ perceptions of my old-for-grade 1st grader. I defray any comments about his skills or maturity by mentioning that he was the same age on the 1st day of school as his brother was on the last day of the same grade - so he’s not the best benchmark to compare to.

She's insecure and compensating. Reassure her that her kid is great and then change the subject.

Given the age, it's totally possible that her daughter was caught in Covid nonsense. I'd try not to take it personally. It's been a weird few years.

Ignore. Parents like that one infuriate me. My youngest is going to be that kid who turns 9 in second grade. I pray we’ll be at a point where it seems like she’s too old for her grade but if we are what people won’t be able to see is how hard she worked to at least get on a level where she can be in school with her neurotypical peers. I would have loved to send her to K on time but that wasn’t possible. Moms like the one who hold back for other reasons make me so mad

I ignore all show boaters. They are insecure.

The bragging is annoying for sure. Just ignore.

My DD had a girl like this in her class. They are now in high school and the girl is academically very average now. She is extremely talented at her (individual) sport and would’ve been regardless of grade/age.

The mom is still kind of annoying from what I can tell, but who cares?

Anonymous wrote:There’s a kid in DD class whose birthday is just days before the cutoff. They didn’t start K until she was 6, almost 7. They are now in 2nd grade and I’m honestly so tired of this mom and her bragging about her “advanced” 9yo second grader.

She’s so great at sports, she’s reading above third-grade level (probably because she should BE a third grader, or older!)

I’m not so sure she’s advanced as much as she’s just older. Thoughts? Do I just ignore this woman or should something politely be said?

Ignore. And frankly, that you can be bothered about another parent has more to do with you than them. Please don’t project this judgmental attitude on your kids.

There’s a kid in DD class whose birthday is just days before the cutoff. They didn’t start K until she was 6, almost 7. They are now in 2nd grade and I’m honestly so tired of this mom and her bragging about her “advanced” 9yo second grader.

She’s so great at sports, she’s reading above third-grade level (probably because she should BE a third grader, or older!)

I’m not so sure she’s advanced as much as she’s just older. Thoughts? Do I just ignore this woman or should something politely be said?