I’m still looking for my feelings, OP. I have all the thinking in the world but it’s harder for me to feel.

I care about fewer people as I age

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of feelings? Feelings about what?

Most toddlers even realize they have feelings.

Like you actually care about people. Just generally.

Did you not generally care about people before?

Anonymous wrote:No. I've always felt intense emotions towards people.
I have come to accept, however, that there really are a lot of people who are stupid, incompetent, and/or hateful. I was much more of a pollyanna when I was younger and much more willing to excuse stupidity and incompetence than I am now.

NP. I'm sort of the opposite. I've always been a Pollyanna type, ready to overlook or explain away other people's issues. I have been wrong about enough things and made my own mistakes, small and large, that I am much more understanding of other people's stupidity or incompetence. We're all just trying to get through the day as best as we can, and sometimes our best isn't very good, but we're still trying.

No. In fact I think the ones I had are gone.

No. I've always felt intense emotions towards people.
I have come to accept, however, that there really are a lot of people who are stupid, incompetent, and/or hateful. I was much more of a pollyanna when I was younger and much more willing to excuse stupidity and incompetence than I am now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of feelings? Feelings about what?

Most toddlers even realize they have feelings.

Like you actually care about people. Just generally.

Interesting OP. I actually am starting to feel the opposite as I age. Not that I "don't care" about people but I have a much lower tolerance for behaviors that are off-putting to me. I no longer try to impress others, if you don't like me well you don't like me and I am actually totally okay with that. Doesn't mean I'll treat you badly, I just won't put any energy towards you.

+1 Once I hit my 40's I started to care a whole lot less about what other people think and my tolerance for BS is at an all time low.

+2 this is the gift of middle age

+3, I used to care a LOT about other people, and now I mostly care about those close to me and myself. I care about "other people" in the sense that I care generally about poverty and war and I do donate money to help people and volunteer at my kid's school and generally wish other people well in a general sense. But I care so much less about specific other people in my life and it is so liberating.

The biggest change is not allowing people outside my inner circle to place expectations on me or use guilt/manipulation to get me to do things for them. I used to be so susceptible to this because I had this outsized sense of responsibility for other people's happiness. It caused me so much grief and inconvenience over the years. Done with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of feelings? Feelings about what?

Most toddlers even realize they have feelings.

Like you actually care about people. Just generally.

Interesting OP. I actually am starting to feel the opposite as I age. Not that I "don't care" about people but I have a much lower tolerance for behaviors that are off-putting to me. I no longer try to impress others, if you don't like me well you don't like me and I am actually totally okay with that. Doesn't mean I'll treat you badly, I just won't put any energy towards you.

+1 Once I hit my 40's I started to care a whole lot less about what other people think and my tolerance for BS is at an all time low.

+2 this is the gift of middle age

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of feelings? Feelings about what?

Most toddlers even realize they have feelings.

Like you actually care about people. Just generally.

Interesting OP. I actually am starting to feel the opposite as I age. Not that I "don't care" about people but I have a much lower tolerance for behaviors that are off-putting to me. I no longer try to impress others, if you don't like me well you don't like me and I am actually totally okay with that. Doesn't mean I'll treat you badly, I just won't put any energy towards you.

+1 Once I hit my 40's I started to care a whole lot less about what other people think and my tolerance for BS is at an all time low.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of feelings? Feelings about what?

Most toddlers even realize they have feelings.

Like you actually care about people. Just generally.

Interesting OP. I actually am starting to feel the opposite as I age. Not that I "don't care" about people but I have a much lower tolerance for behaviors that are off-putting to me. I no longer try to impress others, if you don't like me well you don't like me and I am actually totally okay with that. Doesn't mean I'll treat you badly, I just won't put any energy towards you.

I wasn't allowed to feel/express anger as a child - my parents made us suppress it, and considered it a negative emotion.

In my 30s, I finally discovered anger and let myself feel that new feeling, after an angering situation. It helped me lose 50lbs, and keep it off. I don't think there are any "bad" feelings, but we need to find healthy ways to explore and express them. Anger can be a fantastic feeling to discover!

Anonymous wrote:What kind of feelings? Feelings about what?

Most toddlers even realize they have feelings.

Like you actually care about people. Just generally.

Life has many stages so awareness changes right along with that.

What kind of feelings? Feelings about what?

Most toddlers even realize they have feelings.

Anyone else discover they’ve actually got feelings later in life?