Anonymous wrote:I think you have to make an effort to get along with the wife. Wives generally control who they see and who they don't, mainly because most of the family stuff falls on the wife.

This^. From day one, be welcoming and nonjudgmental. Give love and respect to get it back. Forgive and ignore their shortcomings.

I've seen women who undermine the relationship because the mom still wants to be the mom. The wife is now the "mom" of her family, and in charge. I think for the MIL to stay a part of their life, she has to recognize she is now not the #1 woman in son's life.

Anonymous wrote:The odds are not great but I do know families who buck this general rule. Prob best chances are if your son marries someone who isn’t close with her family/whose family s*cks

Not true. They'll resent his bond as they haven't experienced value of family.

Anonymous wrote:My uber driver just talked at me for 20 mins about how she never sees any of her 4 sons bc they prioritize their wives families. I already have 'not having a third kid' regret and now I'm worried I'll never see them. urgh. moms of older boys - is this true?

"your son is your son till he takes a wife but your daughter is your daughter all your life.". There is a lot of truth to this.

I think you have to make an effort to get along with the wife. Wives generally control who they see and who they don't, mainly because most of the family stuff falls on the wife.

Anonymous wrote:The odds are not great but I do know families who buck this general rule. Prob best chances are if your son marries someone who isn’t close with her family/whose family s*cks

But that presents its own set of problems for your son.

You have to develop a good, close relationship with your sons’ partners.

There are tons of guys who are complete mama's boys.

I thought daughters were the ones who often have deep parental issues/beef they can never drop for their entire lives. My cousin (female) hates her mom and has completely cutoff all contact for almost 20 years. She even said she wished her mom would die to me.

The odds are not great but I do know families who buck this general rule. Prob best chances are if your son marries someone who isn’t close with her family/whose family s*cks

I much preferred my MIL than my mom, who isn't very nice to me.

I’m a woman who sees my in-laws (who are nearby) way more than my own parents and siblings (who are halfway across the country).

If you want your sons to visit, love them AND their significant others. Just know that its a BOGo deal.

We see both of our families pretty equally. That typical of mist families we knew aside from if one side is quite far. If my son did not visit I would go to them.

Have you modeled making an effort to see your husband’s family?

My uber driver just talked at me for 20 mins about how she never sees any of her 4 sons bc they prioritize their wives families. I already have 'not having a third kid' regret and now I'm worried I'll never see them. urgh. moms of older boys - is this true?