Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love hosting and do it often.

I’m annoyed that people reciprocate by “hosting” at a restaurant where we all go Dutch. It’s actually a lot of work and expense to host and the non hosters don’t see that.

So you host only because you hope to be hosted? That’s sort of stupid.

No my point was that they think they're reciprocating when they aren’t. We just aren’t restaurant people though so we probably should decline those invites more.

Core Gen X.

I had one dinner party for 3 colleagues in my early 30s.

1 bailed same day because she did a blood drive at work.

1 revealed she was pregnant at the meal so couldn't eat half of the menu. Also she and her husband left early because of tiredness.

Last guest bowed out early because she was the last/only.

Restaurants seem to be the only thing Gen X can handle.

I've never used any of the three sets of formal china that I inherited. Or most of my wedding presents (crystal candlesticks, champagne bucket).

I loathe it, for all the reasons listed but most of all because I hate having people in my space

Anonymous wrote:I love reading this! Hate hosting and hate being hosted. It’s all so stressful.

I don’t like being hosted either because maybe I’m not going to like the food and then I feel obligated to reciprocate!

I’m fine with hosting family. Easy.

I don’t enjoy hosting either! If I was a great cook, maybe I’d like it more. I thought when kids got older, I’d enjoy it more. Nope, they’re in college and I still don’t like it!

I love reading this! Hate hosting and hate being hosted. It’s all so stressful.

Anonymous wrote:I love hosting and do it often.

I’m annoyed that people reciprocate by “hosting” at a restaurant where we all go Dutch. It’s actually a lot of work and expense to host and the non hosters don’t see that.

So you host only because you hope to be hosted? That’s sort of stupid.

Anonymous wrote:I love hosting and do it often.

I’m annoyed that people reciprocate by “hosting” at a restaurant where we all go Dutch. It’s actually a lot of work and expense to host and the non hosters don’t see that.

We do see it - that's why we don't want people coming over!

On top of everything else, we have four pets and live on a busy street - and even when just a few people are coming over I have to be constantly monitoring to make sure no one is leaving the door open for any length of time. My parents are visiting and even they want to linger by the open door to say hello - and I have to be like, NO OPEN DOORS. Why is it so hard for people to come inside quickly and close the door?! Anyway this is why we don't have parties. A few people at a time, at most, so we can make sure the pets aren't going to get out.

I used to go to bed during my own parties if people didn't leave early enough!

But yes, I love meeting people out at a restaurant. I like that there's a natural time frame for that - 1-2 hours. Perfect amount of time for hanging out.

I love hosting and do it often.

I’m annoyed that people reciprocate by “hosting” at a restaurant where we all go Dutch. It’s actually a lot of work and expense to host and the non hosters don’t see that.

Hate hosting and hate being hosted at others house. Rather meet at neutral location.

Anonymous wrote:That’s me as well and for the same reasons as you mentioned.

I don’t mind hosting for tea/coffee after going out to eat for example but just don’t like hosting the whole event at my house!

This is OP and I am the same. 1-2 people, sure. A large gathering, no thanks.

That’s me as well and for the same reasons as you mentioned.

I don’t mind hosting for tea/coffee after going out to eat for example but just don’t like hosting the whole event at my house!

I will preface this by saying I don’t expect to be hosted. My preferred interacting would happen at a neural location like a restaurant.

I hate hosting. I hate the effort and commitment. Clean before then clean after. The planning. The shopping. Someone inevitably breaks or stains something, which then I have to deal with. You have to be “on”, so you’re not as relaxed as you might be someplace else. Also, there’s no easy “out” once you’re over it/tired/ready to be done; you can’t just leave or tactfully make everyone leave all at once.