Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Balance sadness time with keeping them busy. If they are too busy, you are teaching them to push feeling down and not handle them. If you allow them all day crying and wallowing (past the first day or so) you are teaching them that life moves on.

We also have to pay attention that they are not getting back together for the wrong reasons or rebounding for wrong reasons.

Not something you can control

Which is why the person said to watch and not don’t let them.

Anonymous wrote:Balance sadness time with keeping them busy. If they are too busy, you are teaching them to push feeling down and not handle them. If you allow them all day crying and wallowing (past the first day or so) you are teaching them that life moves on.

We also have to pay attention that they are not getting back together for the wrong reasons or rebounding for wrong reasons.

Not something you can control

Anonymous wrote:Watching my teen go back to the same guy multiple times has been hard, even though I know it’s not right. I guide her, tell her know her worth, etc… but ultimately she has to learn these mistakes and embarrass herself and eventually do a final break up and heal.

Any advice for that would be nice.

This is hard. Are there ways she could be exposed to lots of other people over the summer, without her knowing that is your intention to help her realize there are more fish in the sea?

Watching my teen go back to the same guy multiple times has been hard, even though I know it’s not right. I guide her, tell her know her worth, etc… but ultimately she has to learn these mistakes and embarrass herself and eventually do a final break up and heal.

Any advice for that would be nice.

We were lucky our two oldest kids (a DS and DD) experienced their first heartbreaks while still living at home. I agee with the PPs about acknowledging their pain and making sure they are engage in other stuff. I also used it as an opportunity to talk about life - any time you love, you risk heartbreak but that it's worth it. That it's never easy but the first one is the worst and the important thing is to learn healthy coping mechanisms. I also created Spotify playlists for both kids - but very different ones! One kid had the added experience of being cheated on (and gaslit), the other kid needed a playlist that reaffirmed their value and worth - I also allowed them to add songs to the playlist. Both kids are well past it now but we all still curate the playlists. I know they've both shared them with their friends. HTH

Balance sadness time with keeping them busy. If they are too busy, you are teaching them to push feeling down and not handle them. If you allow them all day crying and wallowing (past the first day or so) you are teaching them that life moves on.

We also have to pay attention that they are not getting back together for the wrong reasons or rebounding for wrong reasons.

Keep them busy with close friends. Mine didn’t want to talk to me about it but she used her friends as free therapy I guess. And they came and took her out and distracted her. Being home in her room was the worst for her

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD experienced her first heartbreak last spring, and I agree with the PPs to acknowledge it, tell her yeah this sucks, let her wallow for a bit, and she'll get to the other side.

If this weekend the two of you could go to the movies, go out to eat, do some shopping? And remind her not to let a boy steal her joy.

The OP didn’t say if it was a boy or girl going thru the heartbreak.

My son was 15 when he had his first heartbreak and he didn’t communicate a ton but was really sad and grumpy for awhile. Went down the wrong path for a bit too which worried me.

It sucked because it was his fault for the break-up, so it was hard to sympathize with him, esp as a mom I was disappointed my son was an idiot to a girl. But teens do dumb things. They live and learn and develop better lessons and skills for future relationships.

My kid did the same this past fall, but he was really open and honest about what he did to shank the relationship and it gave us a fantastic opportunity to talk about all sorts of things. We gave him advice to disconnect with her on social media and he ignored it at first. He wallowed for weeks. We offered supportive words, promised him it would get better, but there’s not really a healthy way to short change heartache. You just have to move through it and believe that it will get better.

Anonymous wrote:My DD experienced her first heartbreak last spring, and I agree with the PPs to acknowledge it, tell her yeah this sucks, let her wallow for a bit, and she'll get to the other side.

If this weekend the two of you could go to the movies, go out to eat, do some shopping? And remind her not to let a boy steal her joy.

The OP didn’t say if it was a boy or girl going thru the heartbreak.

My son was 15 when he had his first heartbreak and he didn’t communicate a ton but was really sad and grumpy for awhile. Went down the wrong path for a bit too which worried me.

It sucked because it was his fault for the break-up, so it was hard to sympathize with him, esp as a mom I was disappointed my son was an idiot to a girl. But teens do dumb things. They live and learn and develop better lessons and skills for future relationships.

Take them out somewhere fun. I took mine to a concert, out to NYC for a weekend and we went to watch a movie/to eat at her favourite restaurant. We talked about it and then I tried to keep her busy for a couple weeks after.

My DD experienced her first heartbreak last spring, and I agree with the PPs to acknowledge it, tell her yeah this sucks, let her wallow for a bit, and she'll get to the other side.

If this weekend the two of you could go to the movies, go out to eat, do some shopping? And remind her not to let a boy steal her joy.

I told my DD when she was feeling really sad to set a timer for 30min and get it all out, splash water on her face and do something else. I encouraged to stay off social media. Block them on everything so they don’t see things. And get out with friends. Fake it until you make it in school. Let it take as long as possible. No quick rebounds.

It’s so hard! Don’t take it personally if they shut you out a bit. Validate whatever feelings they choose to share. Believe in them and know they’ll get to the other side of this.

Just say, I'm sorry you're feeling sad.

Then drop it.

Maybe find some fun activities to do during weekends to get their mind off it.

But don't pry or share experiences.

Any advice on how to support my teen through their first broken heart?