Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she refusing certain meds because maylbe they don’t agree or due to fear of meds? Often when someone is that impaired by an anxiety disorder and traditional meds are not enough, they try antipsychotics. Has she switched psychiatrists due to fear or because no med actually helps?

She has a whole cocktail of meds, and was doing ok for years (she has struggled with mental health for a long time) but lately they have not been adequate so dr is trying various things. But he himself is getting older and I think we may need to get a second opinion. She cannot take an ssri bc she says they make her hallucinate (I have to believe her I guess). But she takes a plethora of other stuff including snri, depakote, Librium and has Valium etc for emergencies. I do think she’s convinced herself she can only tolerate tiny amounts of things so actually doesn’t take enough during panic episodes tho understand no one wants to feel ‘sedated’.
My concern is all this requires 24/7 management and I cannot be the person to do this. But not sure what the answer is unless I hire a surrogate adult child!

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like paranoia a bit. Get checked for cognitive impairment and early dementia —after having them checked for a UTI.

Anonymous wrote:Is she refusing certain meds because maylbe they don’t agree or due to fear of meds? Often when someone is that impaired by an anxiety disorder and traditional meds are not enough, they try antipsychotics. Has she switched psychiatrists due to fear or because no med actually helps?

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what the long term plan can be in this case for my mother but curious what others have done. She has OCD and extreme anxiety and panic. My dad takes care of her with a live in carer, but it's not under control despite multiple doctors and psychiatrists. She cannot be left alone for more than a few minutes or she completely freaks out. Trying to set up systems more long term but no idea where to start. Money not a huge issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this related to a dementia diagnosis? What medication does she take, and could it be a side-effect of one of them? Are there hallucinations? What's the panic about? Is your father someone she perceives to be critical to her safety, or does she trust other people?

it's not - she is on a lot of medication right now to manage severe pain for which she has upcoming surgery. so that does add to the issue and create some confusion.
the panic is about health/ dying etc.
she ONLY trusts him and I think in some ways he has 'enabled' some of it where someone else would have maybe handled it differently. but he has done the best he can. I just fear for a time when she doesnt have him.

I ask because such situations are common in the elderly and can be due to various things. My father's anxiety and occasional panic (not as bad as your mother's) is due to cognitive decline. At some point he'll probably be diagnosed with dementia. My MIL, on the other hand, had hallucinations, emotional dysregulation and cognitive impairment due to an overdose of a Parkinson's medication. Reducing it makes Parkinson's symptoms re-appear, so it's very hard to get the right dose, the one that gives the least negative symptoms overall!

You need to consult with all her doctors to examine which medication might be having that effect, and by how much you can reduce it.
If there's cognitive impairment, it can be various forms of dementia, UTIs, or the effect of certain medications. Most forms of dementia present as memory loss and anxiety, so dementia could absolutely contribute to her anxiety and panic.
I suppose at her age, there's not much chance she could have an overactive thyroid, but maybe bloodwork is in order, just to check (perhaps she was put on thyroid replacement hormones long ago, and they've never been adjusted - usually with age patients need to decrease their dose).

My parents are entirely co-dependent on each other, so I hear you on that front.

I'm sorry. It's very hard.

thx pp. where are they living and how are you managing it?
my kids are still pretty young so it's hard for me to be super involved...

I am minimally involved, for now. We are expats and live a continent away from our parents. My MIL has a rotating cast of aides that come to her house to cook/clean/bathe/give meds/converse with her, plus nurse visits and physical therapy visits for her Parkinson's. Her local adult kids visit frequently and accompany her to doctors' appointments. My husband manages her finances from afar. My father is independent for now, but my mother is increasingly bearing the brunt of his confusion and anxiety, so it's not going to be feasible for long. I'm an only child and can't just hop over an ocean whenever. It's going to be a nightmare soon enough. I want my parents to create a sheet of paper with their accounts and passwords and give me power of attorney, but my father is very resistant to that, and my mother hasn't been involved in their finances in years. I need to know what they can afford in terms of home aides, etc. At some point, my father might have to go into a home, so I need to research that too. Right now I spend my time calling my father to persuade him to make medical appointments so he can get a diagnosis and possible treatment - I suspect vascular dementia, and need him to try anxiety meds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this related to a dementia diagnosis? What medication does she take, and could it be a side-effect of one of them? Are there hallucinations? What's the panic about? Is your father someone she perceives to be critical to her safety, or does she trust other people?

it's not - she is on a lot of medication right now to manage severe pain for which she has upcoming surgery. so that does add to the issue and create some confusion.
the panic is about health/ dying etc.
she ONLY trusts him and I think in some ways he has 'enabled' some of it where someone else would have maybe handled it differently. but he has done the best he can. I just fear for a time when she doesnt have him.

I ask because such situations are common in the elderly and can be due to various things. My father's anxiety and occasional panic (not as bad as your mother's) is due to cognitive decline. At some point he'll probably be diagnosed with dementia. My MIL, on the other hand, had hallucinations, emotional dysregulation and cognitive impairment due to an overdose of a Parkinson's medication. Reducing it makes Parkinson's symptoms re-appear, so it's very hard to get the right dose, the one that gives the least negative symptoms overall!

You need to consult with all her doctors to examine which medication might be having that effect, and by how much you can reduce it.
If there's cognitive impairment, it can be various forms of dementia, UTIs, or the effect of certain medications. Most forms of dementia present as memory loss and anxiety, so dementia could absolutely contribute to her anxiety and panic.
I suppose at her age, there's not much chance she could have an overactive thyroid, but maybe bloodwork is in order, just to check (perhaps she was put on thyroid replacement hormones long ago, and they've never been adjusted - usually with age patients need to decrease their dose).

My parents are entirely co-dependent on each other, so I hear you on that front.

I'm sorry. It's very hard.

thx pp. where are they living and how are you managing it?
my kids are still pretty young so it's hard for me to be super involved...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this related to a dementia diagnosis? What medication does she take, and could it be a side-effect of one of them? Are there hallucinations? What's the panic about? Is your father someone she perceives to be critical to her safety, or does she trust other people?

it's not - she is on a lot of medication right now to manage severe pain for which she has upcoming surgery. so that does add to the issue and create some confusion.
the panic is about health/ dying etc.
she ONLY trusts him and I think in some ways he has 'enabled' some of it where someone else would have maybe handled it differently. but he has done the best he can. I just fear for a time when she doesnt have him.

I ask because such situations are common in the elderly and can be due to various things. My father's anxiety and occasional panic (not as bad as your mother's) is due to cognitive decline. At some point he'll probably be diagnosed with dementia. My MIL, on the other hand, had hallucinations, emotional dysregulation and cognitive impairment due to an overdose of a Parkinson's medication. Reducing it makes Parkinson's symptoms re-appear, so it's very hard to get the right dose, the one that gives the least negative symptoms overall!

You need to consult with all her doctors to examine which medication might be having that effect, and by how much you can reduce it.
If there's cognitive impairment, it can be various forms of dementia, UTIs, or the effect of certain medications. Most forms of dementia present as memory loss and anxiety, so dementia could absolutely contribute to her anxiety and panic.
I suppose at her age, there's not much chance she could have an overactive thyroid, but maybe bloodwork is in order, just to check (perhaps she was put on thyroid replacement hormones long ago, and they've never been adjusted - usually with age patients need to decrease their dose).

My parents are entirely co-dependent on each other, so I hear you on that front.

I'm sorry. It's very hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this related to a dementia diagnosis? What medication does she take, and could it be a side-effect of one of them? Are there hallucinations? What's the panic about? Is your father someone she perceives to be critical to her safety, or does she trust other people?

it's not - she is on a lot of medication right now to manage severe pain for which she has upcoming surgery. so that does add to the issue and create some confusion.
the panic is about health/ dying etc.
she ONLY trusts him and I think in some ways he has 'enabled' some of it where someone else would have maybe handled it differently. but he has done the best he can. I just fear for a time when she doesnt have him.

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible she has more going on than OCD/extreme anxiety? Cognitive decline can exacerbate these conditions. One of my relatives has to be on Lorazepam and Trazadone otherwise she's a mess.

Anonymous wrote:Is this related to a dementia diagnosis? What medication does she take, and could it be a side-effect of one of them? Are there hallucinations? What's the panic about? Is your father someone she perceives to be critical to her safety, or does she trust other people?