Anonymous
02/08/2024 20:37
Subject: Lying at nearly 5
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My preschooler, who will be 5 in a couple months, recently discovered lying. I think it's pretty developmentally normal and I am not concerned, but I am wondering what methods others used to effectively put an end to it? The lying is usually to avoid a consequence, but sometimes it is so silly I don't know if I can describe it as a "lie." For example, I'll ask who he saw at the park and he'll name someone who was absolutely not at the park. Other times, I'll hear from his teacher that he did something naughty at school, I'll ask about it, and he'll deny it. When I tell him that I heard from his teacher, he gets a "oops, I'm caught" look on his face.
We've tried telling him not to lie, but it hasn't made any impact. Do we just wait this out and keep discouraging it or is there more I could be doing?
Don't ask. Say, "Ms. Rodrigo called and told me you broke a crayon on purpose today. Let's talk about that."
Don't label things as lies. If the child tells you they saw someone at the park who wasn't there, just say, "Well, isn't THAT interesting. I don't think so and so was there..." Don't make a big deal out of it. Don't punish it. Basically just treat your child as a very unreliable narrator.
And how do you handle the response "Ms. Rodrigo hates me and makes up stories about me to get me in trouble."?
Anonymous
02/08/2024 20:32
Subject: Lying at nearly 5
Anonymous wrote:My preschooler, who will be 5 in a couple months, recently discovered lying. I think it's pretty developmentally normal and I am not concerned, but I am wondering what methods others used to effectively put an end to it? The lying is usually to avoid a consequence, but sometimes it is so silly I don't know if I can describe it as a "lie." For example, I'll ask who he saw at the park and he'll name someone who was absolutely not at the park. Other times, I'll hear from his teacher that he did something naughty at school, I'll ask about it, and he'll deny it. When I tell him that I heard from his teacher, he gets a "oops, I'm caught" look on his face.
We've tried telling him not to lie, but it hasn't made any impact. Do we just wait this out and keep discouraging it or is there more I could be doing?
Don't ask. Say, "Ms. Rodrigo called and told me you broke a crayon on purpose today. Let's talk about that."
Don't label things as lies. If the child tells you they saw someone at the park who wasn't there, just say, "Well, isn't THAT interesting. I don't think so and so was there..." Don't make a big deal out of it. Don't punish it. Basically just treat your child as a very unreliable narrator.
Anonymous
02/08/2024 20:12
Subject: Lying at nearly 5
The consequence for lying needs to be more severe than whatever consequence they were trying to evade
Get a copy of one of the many versions of the boy who cried wolf
Get a copy of one of the many versions of the boy who cried wolf
Anonymous
02/08/2024 16:13
Subject: Lying at nearly 5
Ignoring helped us get through this phase quickly. I would try to stay away from any “gotcha” moments imo. It draws attention to the lie.
So for the park my response would be, “No, Larlo was at school. He was not at the park today. (Topic change.) What did you eat for lunch?”
Instead of asking about the incident at school, start by saying you heard from his teacher.
So for the park my response would be, “No, Larlo was at school. He was not at the park today. (Topic change.) What did you eat for lunch?”
Instead of asking about the incident at school, start by saying you heard from his teacher.
Anonymous
02/08/2024 15:29
Subject: Lying at nearly 5
My preschooler, who will be 5 in a couple months, recently discovered lying. I think it's pretty developmentally normal and I am not concerned, but I am wondering what methods others used to effectively put an end to it? The lying is usually to avoid a consequence, but sometimes it is so silly I don't know if I can describe it as a "lie." For example, I'll ask who he saw at the park and he'll name someone who was absolutely not at the park. Other times, I'll hear from his teacher that he did something naughty at school, I'll ask about it, and he'll deny it. When I tell him that I heard from his teacher, he gets a "oops, I'm caught" look on his face.
We've tried telling him not to lie, but it hasn't made any impact. Do we just wait this out and keep discouraging it or is there more I could be doing?
We've tried telling him not to lie, but it hasn't made any impact. Do we just wait this out and keep discouraging it or is there more I could be doing?