What would you consider to be an average donation by a family?

5k annually? more? less?

My neighbor's DC was asked to attend a meeting and she was told her DC was "not going to be invited back". My neighbor then said, "Oh, you know that donor 'name of donor'? She is my mother." They then said, "Oh never mind". And she received a contract for the following year.

Anonymous wrote:Yes - the ones that give 6 figures get favors.

This is categorically false. You really do not know what you're talking about and it's damaging.

I haven't seen a correlation between big donor and elite college admissions. I mean--they have the usual spread (some to elite colleges, some to non-elite colleges) and are based on grades/resume and nothing more.

I've seen them get the kind of no-nothing awards that people don't care about - like a certificate for kindness or something like that.

I have heard about the letters to colleges from the Head of School. I also have heard about the Head of School sort of making sure a “little love” is thrown in the direction of certain kids parents who donate, are on board, etc. Give the kids certain leadership opportunity, recommend them for an award, get them on a varsity team (even if they don’t play).

Anonymous wrote:6 figures only.

Letters from head of school can help with college deferrals and waitlists

HAHAHAA no

Anonymous wrote:6 figures only.

Letters from head of school can help with college deferrals and waitlists

This used to definitely be true. HOS and admissions counselors have little pull now in the college admissions process. If these folks can give 6 figures to a private high school, then hopefully they are donating even more to the Ivy of their choice. That is how they will have some pull with colleges.

Administrators are more likely to sweep disciplinary matters under the rug if a child's parents donate a lot. But in the classroom or during extracurriculars, teachers don't care as much.

Teachers don’t give special treatment to children but administrators have given special treatment to big donors.

6 figures only.

Letters from head of school can help with college deferrals and waitlists

Yes - the ones that give 6 figures get favors.

Anonymous wrote:My impression is that people THINK it happens more than it actually happens.

Agree with this. I think you would have to give a lot (like 6 figures) AND also ask for the favors to have this happen.
I would imagine that if there are advantages given to a donor's kid the most common would be in regard to discipline issues (i.e. increased forgiveness for the kid of a big donor).

My high school kid is on aid and best friend is the kid of a donor (they give $25K+)/year, every year.
My kid has actually received better teachers, more opportunities, activities etc than his/her friend.
It's really just luck of the draw or merit based in our experience.

My impression is that people THINK it happens more than it actually happens.

Have you seen at your school any advantage given to children of big donors in any way? Academics, activities, awards, disciplinary, special recognition?