Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 21:45     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
The 15 year old is more willing to do stuff.

I hope you have talked to her about protection.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 21:37     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
It's personality. I'm going to guess younger daughter is a lot more outgoing and perhaps assertive with the boys she is interested in. Her friend group could just be more advanced in this way as well.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 21:24     Subject: Re:Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Um maybe personality or other things matter more than just level of prettiness? What an extremely petty post. Hard to believe mothers reduce their own daughters value down to beauty- this is what we all grow up with.


OP here. Of course appearance is the least important thing. Both DDs are intelligent, funny, and athletic. However, let’s be honest; teenage boys tend to focus on looks, especially if it’s just a crush and not a real relationship. Plus, 16 yo is relatively shy/reserved, whereas 15 yo is much more outgoing. Personality takes longer to see in someone than outward appearance.


This is it right here. Contrary to popular belief, teenage boys are not determined horny aholes trying to score. Most are pretty insecure & have no idea what they are doing. So looks matter less than the girl who is outgoing, who talks to them, who actually seems interested in them. They do not have the confidence to pursue a pretty girl who shows no interest in talking to them - but will pursue the one who initiates conversation, jokes around with the group, is more extroverted, etc.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 21:22     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 16 yo DD occasionally brings up the fact that she hasn’t had a boyfriend, first kiss, or any romantic experience yet. My 15 yo DD has had quite a few “romantic experiences”- boyfriends, kids who have had crushes on her in the past, etc. 16 yo is extremely pretty and people (relatives, kids at school, other adults) often tell her this. 15 yo is not “objectively” pretty, so why is it that she is more “advanced” in the romance department?

Don’t take this the wrong way. They are both great kids and I have no problem with the fact that 16 yo doesn’t have romantic experiences (obviously)!!



How many guys has she asked out? Is she flirty?


None! I get the feeling she expects them to ask her out.


which is fine, but that leaves fate out of her hands. not the worst thing - but a reality.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 21:15     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 16 yo DD occasionally brings up the fact that she hasn’t had a boyfriend, first kiss, or any romantic experience yet. My 15 yo DD has had quite a few “romantic experiences”- boyfriends, kids who have had crushes on her in the past, etc. 16 yo is extremely pretty and people (relatives, kids at school, other adults) often tell her this. 15 yo is not “objectively” pretty, so why is it that she is more “advanced” in the romance department?

Don’t take this the wrong way. They are both great kids and I have no problem with the fact that 16 yo doesn’t have romantic experiences (obviously)!!



How many guys has she asked out? Is she flirty?


None! I get the feeling she expects them to ask her out.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 21:15     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
You answered your own question. 15yo is outgoing and seems up for it. 16yo is reserved.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 21:13     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
Anonymous wrote:My 16 yo DD occasionally brings up the fact that she hasn’t had a boyfriend, first kiss, or any romantic experience yet. My 15 yo DD has had quite a few “romantic experiences”- boyfriends, kids who have had crushes on her in the past, etc. 16 yo is extremely pretty and people (relatives, kids at school, other adults) often tell her this. 15 yo is not “objectively” pretty, so why is it that she is more “advanced” in the romance department?

Don’t take this the wrong way. They are both great kids and I have no problem with the fact that 16 yo doesn’t have romantic experiences (obviously)!!



How many guys has she asked out? Is she flirty?
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 20:58     Subject: Re:Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
Anonymous wrote:Um maybe personality or other things matter more than just level of prettiness? What an extremely petty post. Hard to believe mothers reduce their own daughters value down to beauty- this is what we all grow up with.


OP here. Of course appearance is the least important thing. Both DDs are intelligent, funny, and athletic. However, let’s be honest; teenage boys tend to focus on looks, especially if it’s just a crush and not a real relationship. Plus, 16 yo is relatively shy/reserved, whereas 15 yo is much more outgoing. Personality takes longer to see in someone than outward appearance.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 20:57     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my 15-year-old hasn't had any romantic experiences. She's pretty focused on school, sports and her friends. I was the same way. Your 15-year-old is probably seeking out that stuff and your 16-year-old probably isn't.


Some of my DC's friends seem to always be dating and are very active with snapchat. Others do not use snapchat the same way. They just have different personalities.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 20:53     Subject: Re:Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
DD17 is about to leave hs having never kissed, dated, etc. He doesn't seem to mind and given how busy he is during the week I can't imagine adding this to his schedule.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 20:51     Subject: Re:Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
Um maybe personality or other things matter more than just level of prettiness? What an extremely petty post. Hard to believe mothers reduce their own daughters value down to beauty- this is what we all grow up with.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 20:50     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my 15-year-old hasn't had any romantic experiences. She's pretty focused on school, sports and her friends. I was the same way. Your 15-year-old is probably seeking out that stuff and your 16-year-old probably isn't.


Exactly. Be thankful one of them isn't social that way. It's just more distraction they don't need before college applications.
Your 16 year old DD may "yearn" for a romantic relationship without really wanting one in real life, or perhaps she does want one, but isn't social in that way. From a parental perspective, I'd be relieved. I didn't date until I was in college, and my high school experience was much better for it.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 20:44     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure my 15-year-old hasn't had any romantic experiences. She's pretty focused on school, sports and her friends. I was the same way. Your 15-year-old is probably seeking out that stuff and your 16-year-old probably isn't.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 20:42     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
I guess she could go on the apps
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 20:41     Subject: Why doesn’t DD have a boyfriend?
My 16 yo DD occasionally brings up the fact that she hasn’t had a boyfriend, first kiss, or any romantic experience yet. My 15 yo DD has had quite a few “romantic experiences”- boyfriends, kids who have had crushes on her in the past, etc. 16 yo is extremely pretty and people (relatives, kids at school, other adults) often tell her this. 15 yo is not “objectively” pretty, so why is it that she is more “advanced” in the romance department?

Don’t take this the wrong way. They are both great kids and I have no problem with the fact that 16 yo doesn’t have romantic experiences (obviously)!!