Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens should be cleaning and cooking.

+1000

Why aren't they helping you?

They do sometimes but it's not significant enough to make a difference in the drudgery of it all. I still have to think of groceries, plan things, do it when they don't. tell them to do things...I am just over it all.

So then stop trying to do it all. Your kids aren't going to step up if they don't have to, and know you'll just take care of it. Delegate, and take things away if they don't (phones, change the wifi password, etc.)

Other poster is right. This is a shitton more labor and aggravation than just doing it yourself.

Try some type of chore chart, so you don’t have to nag. It may be hard to introduce late in the game though.

I would try though to get your husband on board, then call a family meeting,

It is really non-rewarding to parent teens. They still need you but resent you. They push parents away and show little appreciation or love.

You are doing your job, selflessly. Pay attention though to when you are just too depleted. Get your partner to do more, or maybe a relative can step in, while you take some time for yourself.

The time will go fast, and they will soon be living elsewhere. Believe it or not you will miss them then! 😅

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens should be cleaning and cooking.

+1000

Why aren't they helping you?

They do sometimes but it's not significant enough to make a difference in the drudgery of it all. I still have to think of groceries, plan things, do it when they don't. tell them to do things...I am just over it all.

So then stop trying to do it all. Your kids aren't going to step up if they don't have to, and know you'll just take care of it. Delegate, and take things away if they don't (phones, change the wifi password, etc.)

Just delegating chores and having to remember to follow-up and ensure they’re actually done, then maybe having consequences for kids, if not done, involves tons of invisible labor for moms in and of itself. I always hate when people expect moms to do all this invisible work just to get a bit of help, when moms just get the shit done without anyone needing to ask them or explain anything to them. Dads, especially, but also kids, need to step it up when so much is on mom’s plate already. Unfortunately, they often don’t take up any slack without being directed by mom (putting that labor on mom, again, so she might as well just get the shit done herself).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens should be cleaning and cooking.

+1000

Why aren't they helping you?

They do sometimes but it's not significant enough to make a difference in the drudgery of it all. I still have to think of groceries, plan things, do it when they don't. tell them to do things...I am just over it all.

Stay out of their drama. They can find their own food. It's in the house somewhere and they will find it.
Going away is a good idea. They will survive.

I hear you! We, as individuals, can only do so much, and we all have a breaking point. It’s incredibly hard to have to do it all, no matter the reason. Especially when you not only get no gratitude, but people can be actively hostile toward you. And while a short get-away would probably be nice, it’s not a long-term fix, and not really solving the problem. I guess I don’t have any solutions, just wanted to say that I really identify with what you’re feeling.

Anonymous wrote:Teens should be cleaning and cooking.

+1000

Why aren't they helping you?

Anonymous wrote:Yes, agree w/ pps - get yourself a life raft! Spa retreat? Weekend w/ girlfriends? New hobby or class that gets you out of the house every week for something you enjoy? A week away just by yourself?

Or all of the above! Prioritize yourself OP - it's ok - even great for everyone around you.

I have gone away and honestly I come back feeling depressed and worse, like I was so happy and now it's back to total shit.

Teens should be cleaning and cooking.

Yes, agree w/ pps - get yourself a life raft! Spa retreat? Weekend w/ girlfriends? New hobby or class that gets you out of the house every week for something you enjoy? A week away just by yourself?

Or all of the above! Prioritize yourself OP - it's ok - even great for everyone around you.

Yes, Go aay gor a week or at minimum 4 nights. Do it!

Go take a solo trip somewhere and pamper yourself. Run away from life temporarily.

I am so exhausted every day: work, teens, their drama, house chores...None of it is fun. My teens are generally ok but rotten teen attitudes at times especially from ds, so any moment not spent at work is spent dealing with teen moods, schedule, cleaning, cooking. I hate it all and there is zero fun to my life. I feel like it is never ending.