Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men will automatically prioritize their own happiness/pleasure because they've been raised in a culture that centers men. They often need to be reminded to consider others. Women often prioritize the needs/wants of others (kids, spouse, friends, family) over their own, because that's what our culture encourages them to do.

"happy wife" doesn't necessarily mean you always please her. It means you support her happiness by doing things like making sure she has time to herself to pursue an identity outside of service, and you consider how your actions will impact her.

And men still fsck it up.

+1

But I actually think women fsck it up too. It is our responsibility and while reminders are helpful, they can’t change a fundamental, unconscious belief that your happiness/wellbeing comes last. Or that we can’t do the things that make us happy until our partners are convinced that we deserve them. That was my problem anyway. Not my motto is “be happy not good.”

For real happiness, you have to be good too. Happiness doesn't happen in vacuum. Its a balance, narcissists aren't happy.

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, in a happy family, a good man also sacrifices a lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men will automatically prioritize their own happiness/pleasure because they've been raised in a culture that centers men. They often need to be reminded to consider others. Women often prioritize the needs/wants of others (kids, spouse, friends, family) over their own, because that's what our culture encourages them to do.

"happy wife" doesn't necessarily mean you always please her. It means you support her happiness by doing things like making sure she has time to herself to pursue an identity outside of service, and you consider how your actions will impact her.

And men still fsck it up.

+1

But I actually think women fsck it up too. It is our responsibility and while reminders are helpful, they can’t change a fundamental, unconscious belief that your happiness/wellbeing comes last. Or that we can’t do the things that make us happy until our partners are convinced that we deserve them. That was my problem anyway. Not my motto is “be happy not good.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it's an old-fashioned saying that dates to a time when women's financial and physical wellbeing depended almost entirely on their husband's behavior, and men's emotional wellbeing depended almost entirely on their wife. The more current version is "happy spouse, happy house."

I'm queer, so I prefer this, and it sweeps the inequalities of hetero relationships under the rug.

Anonymous wrote:Men will automatically prioritize their own happiness/pleasure because they've been raised in a culture that centers men. They often need to be reminded to consider others. Women often prioritize the needs/wants of others (kids, spouse, friends, family) over their own, because that's what our culture encourages them to do.

"happy wife" doesn't necessarily mean you always please her. It means you support her happiness by doing things like making sure she has time to herself to pursue an identity outside of service, and you consider how your actions will impact her.

And men still fsck it up.

Anonymous wrote:Because it's an old-fashioned saying that dates to a time when women's financial and physical wellbeing depended almost entirely on their husband's behavior, and men's emotional wellbeing depended almost entirely on their wife. The more current version is "happy spouse, happy house."