Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 15:11     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
Anonymous wrote:No one calls, OP. Just text them.


If you're a child or teenager.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 14:32     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
No one calls, OP. Just text them.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 14:28     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
We text ahead of time to make sure if/when our kid is available, they usually text back a time that will work and then we either call or FaceTime.

I think just calling out of the blue is not how things work nowadays (with nearly everyone).
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 13:29     Subject: Re:Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
Anonymous wrote:Almost every time I called my adult children, it was not a convenient time for them to talk. So I got the hint, stopped calling and let them call me. We text every other day as well. It is less intrusive for them.


You sound like a good parent. I hope your kids appreciate you.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 13:26     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
Anonymous wrote:Why would your parents start caring about you now in adulthood when you state clearly they didn't care about you in childhood?

You are seeking something that will only result in your being hurt, over and over again.

I'm sorry, it's very painful and sad. You and your sibling should seek therapy- the healing will need to come from within, you won't be getting it from your parents.


It's been so lonely and heartbreaking if your own parent can't or won't love you....I thought it would get better with time it's just getting worse.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 10:39     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
Anonymous wrote:Even with parents who care very much, both my parents and my in laws do not ever call us — it’s almost always the other way around. Maybe it’s a generational thing.


No it’s….”Oh, hi mom, it’s a really bad time the kids are in the tub. Can I call you back?” Your parents know you are busy and hate to interrupt.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 10:34     Subject: Re:Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
We have three adult children with their own families and I will often call them about something specific but they do the calling for a family call….with grandchildren. For us to make that call is often difficult for them given little kid chaos. When we were young parents we always did the calling home for that very reason.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 10:06     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
I talk to my parents at least once a week for one to two hours, we have a set date on Sunday (and do messenger during the week for quick messages, pics of whatever...) My in-laws wait for dh to call because they want to feel needed as opposed to needy, but then they act negative and needy when he calls, which makes him want to not call. It's not a good cycle.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 23:10     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
Anonymous wrote:We are two great adult kids with parents who were never involved when we were little kids, we never ever asked for a thing (why we wouldn't get it), who took care of themselves since they were very little. Why do our parents continue to ignore us? Yet when we call they say how lonely they are, how they want to see us, yet make ZERO effort. I was the only one calling and I stopped calling now there is no contact. It's mind boggling. I don't know what mental illness this is but we are both over having parents like this. Any insight welcome.


Why not start by visiting them or sending them tickets to visit you. Are they financially okay? May be visit and volunteer to help fix something at their home. Heck, if you really want clarity, do few tele-visit with tgem and a family counselor.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 22:06     Subject: Re:Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
My parents will say they don’t call because they think I’m busy and that they are not so they’d rather I just call them when it’s convenient for me. I think this makes sense and is practical (I am actually busier than they are since they’re retired and don’t have young kids living w them and I work and have young kids). But your situation sounds different and I think you should tell your parents how you feel and see if that changes anything, knowing that unfortunately it probably won’t.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 22:01     Subject: Re:Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
Almost every time I called my adult children, it was not a convenient time for them to talk. So I got the hint, stopped calling and let them call me. We text every other day as well. It is less intrusive for them.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 21:52     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
Even with parents who care very much, both my parents and my in laws do not ever call us — it’s almost always the other way around. Maybe it’s a generational thing.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 14:42     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
Why would your parents start caring about you now in adulthood when you state clearly they didn't care about you in childhood?

You are seeking something that will only result in your being hurt, over and over again.

I'm sorry, it's very painful and sad. You and your sibling should seek therapy- the healing will need to come from within, you won't be getting it from your parents.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 14:39     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
If you browse family relationship forum, most adult kids and their spouses are begging for space and criticizing parents and ILs for their intrusive behavior.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 13:58     Subject: Parents of adult children who don't ever call, WHY don't you call your adult kids?
We are two great adult kids with parents who were never involved when we were little kids, we never ever asked for a thing (why we wouldn't get it), who took care of themselves since they were very little. Why do our parents continue to ignore us? Yet when we call they say how lonely they are, how they want to see us, yet make ZERO effort. I was the only one calling and I stopped calling now there is no contact. It's mind boggling. I don't know what mental illness this is but we are both over having parents like this. Any insight welcome.