Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my company know during my pregnancy that I would not be coming back. I thought about who in the company might be a good choice to replace me. We got them onboard and I trained them.

Same, except company had a re-org right before I left and dragged their feet on hiring process so I didn’t get to train but was willing. It’s unethical and sets feminism and all women back to do what OP is proposing. We want more maternity leave and to show society it’s good for everyone. Doing this bait and switch just gives bitter misogynists another reason to hate women and be stingy with benefits.

Agreed. I have a low opinion of women who do this.

Do what? Take maternity leave they are entitled to? What’s the alternative? Quit before giving birth and give up months of benefits?

You're supposed to put your baby in daycare at 6 weeks and get back to work, of course.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my company know during my pregnancy that I would not be coming back. I thought about who in the company might be a good choice to replace me. We got them onboard and I trained them.

Same, except company had a re-org right before I left and dragged their feet on hiring process so I didn’t get to train but was willing. It’s unethical and sets feminism and all women back to do what OP is proposing. We want more maternity leave and to show society it’s good for everyone. Doing this bait and switch just gives bitter misogynists another reason to hate women and be stingy with benefits.

Agreed. I have a low opinion of women who do this.

Do what? Take maternity leave they are entitled to? What’s the alternative? Quit before giving birth and give up months of benefits?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my company know during my pregnancy that I would not be coming back. I thought about who in the company might be a good choice to replace me. We got them onboard and I trained them.

Same, except company had a re-org right before I left and dragged their feet on hiring process so I didn’t get to train but was willing. It’s unethical and sets feminism and all women back to do what OP is proposing. We want more maternity leave and to show society it’s good for everyone. Doing this bait and switch just gives bitter misogynists another reason to hate women and be stingy with benefits.

Agreed. I have a low opinion of women who do this.

I returned from maternity leave and was laid off within a month. What's your opinion of employers who do that?

Ultimately, you have to put your family first because your employer won't put you first.

I think they are crap and should be exposed and, when possible, taken to court.

I don’t care about employers. I care about all women and the perception of women and how that perception affects all of us and our opportunities. Becoming a mom to a daughter made feminism feel very urgent to me, and I act on that when I can.

Anonymous wrote:I would not do anything differently. You never know what will happen, don’t quit until you’re sure you want to.

OP is sure she wants to. That’s the problem.

I wasn't for sure going to quit but I knew when I came back I was going to ask to go part time or work remote half the time. I debated asking for this before I went on leave but I knew my boss would be resistant and I didn't want to fight that battle while I was pregnant (I had a really rough pregnancy). So I put it out as something I was interested in about midway through my leave. My boss balked, as I knew she would, and there were a few weeks of trying to negotiate a solution but ultimately they denied both my requests and I chose to resign instead. I came bake for 6 weeks after my leave to help them hire my replacement (I was technically full time during this time but I used existing vacation leave to only work half days, which is what I wanted anyway and also what I had childcare for at that point). I think ultimately it was a win-win, as they got 6 extra weeks of me on staff to ease the transition, I was going to get paid out that vacation time anyway, but I got to leave on my terms and I think there was less resentment than if I'd just up and quit while out on leave. I actually wound up doing freelance work for them over the next few years when they needed help on projects. It really couldn't have worked out better.

I would not do anything differently. You never know what will happen, don’t quit until you’re sure you want to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my company know during my pregnancy that I would not be coming back. I thought about who in the company might be a good choice to replace me. We got them onboard and I trained them.

Same, except company had a re-org right before I left and dragged their feet on hiring process so I didn’t get to train but was willing. It’s unethical and sets feminism and all women back to do what OP is proposing. We want more maternity leave and to show society it’s good for everyone. Doing this bait and switch just gives bitter misogynists another reason to hate women and be stingy with benefits.

Agreed. I have a low opinion of women who do this.

I returned from maternity leave and was laid off within a month. What's your opinion of employers who do that?

Ultimately, you have to put your family first because your employer won't put you first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my company know during my pregnancy that I would not be coming back. I thought about who in the company might be a good choice to replace me. We got them onboard and I trained them.

Same, except company had a re-org right before I left and dragged their feet on hiring process so I didn’t get to train but was willing. It’s unethical and sets feminism and all women back to do what OP is proposing. We want more maternity leave and to show society it’s good for everyone. Doing this bait and switch just gives bitter misogynists another reason to hate women and be stingy with benefits.

Agreed. I have a low opinion of women who do this.

I quit maybe 3 months after returning from maternity leave. I wasn’t sure I was going to, but my husband and I discussed the possibility and were financially prepared for it.

My job just wasn’t friendly family, despite all their claims and it wasn’t sustainable. After giving my notice, the head of HR came to me and (privately) told me that I was absolutely making the right decision. They said that they had seen woman after woman sacrifice family for the company and the company take it for granted. I have no regrets.

So, I don’t really care what others think. I made the right decision for my family.

Anonymous wrote:Why go back at all?

They will claw back health insurance coverage you used during mat leave

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my company know during my pregnancy that I would not be coming back. I thought about who in the company might be a good choice to replace me. We got them onboard and I trained them.

Same, except company had a re-org right before I left and dragged their feet on hiring process so I didn’t get to train but was willing. It’s unethical and sets feminism and all women back to do what OP is proposing. We want more maternity leave and to show society it’s good for everyone. Doing this bait and switch just gives bitter misogynists another reason to hate women and be stingy with benefits.

Agreed. I have a low opinion of women who do this.

Anonymous wrote:Why go back at all?

There is a vesting period for a large amount of stock I have in deferred compensation and I need to wait for it to vest.

Anonymous wrote:I let my company know during my pregnancy that I would not be coming back. I thought about who in the company might be a good choice to replace me. We got them onboard and I trained them.

Same, except company had a re-org right before I left and dragged their feet on hiring process so I didn’t get to train but was willing. It’s unethical and sets feminism and all women back to do what OP is proposing. We want more maternity leave and to show society it’s good for everyone. Doing this bait and switch just gives bitter misogynists another reason to hate women and be stingy with benefits.

I let my company know during my pregnancy that I would not be coming back. I thought about who in the company might be a good choice to replace me. We got them onboard and I trained them.

Why go back at all?

Not right away, but a few months after returning to work. Would you do anything differently? Prepare in any way? They cannot get back the maternity leave or ask me to pay anything- it’s in their policies.