How do you raise kids that are motivated to excel at whatever they’re interested in? I don’t want lazy losers.

Anonymous wrote:It's not luck. It's tons of nurturing. Play lots of educational games with them. Do random math questions or spelling questions. We play jeopardy or "know your times tables" while driving in the car. Put them in extracurricular activities that they show promise in.

Whatever Jan

It's not luck. It's tons of nurturing. Play lots of educational games with them. Do random math questions or spelling questions. We play jeopardy or "know your times tables" while driving in the car. Put them in extracurricular activities that they show promise in.

We have two kids currently at top colleges. Here are some things we tried to do:

- Limit screen time as long as you can. We had zero screens until age 2 and held off on phones until 8th grade
- Expose them to the world…museums, age appropriate performing arts, gardens, travel, restaurants, wide range of people and experiences. Doesn’t have to be expensive and there are a lot of free things to do in the DMV area
- Have dinner together every night and talk with each other. When they are younger, okay guessing games at meals
- Attend their events, show interest and be supportive
- Let them try lots of things and quit at appropriate intervals if they know the activity is not for them
- If they find something they’re passionate about, let them go all in and support as much as you can afford and tolerate
- Applaud their effort and not so much their accomplishments
- Lead by example: volunteer, show up at work and at home, take care of your health, celebrate milestones large and small, love your own life fully

I have three kids. I think it is mostly luck. Some people are born with it and others are not. If one is not born with it then having high achieving parents and siblings can help. I think several of the Kardashians would not have achieved as much with a different mother and sister

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Encouraging them to find something they love and have intrinsic motivation to succeed in. And nurturing that intrinsic motivation by not introducing extrinsic motivation (payment for good grades, etc.).

How do you “nurture intrinsic motivation” without using extrinsic motivation? You never say good job or give praise (extrinsic motivators)?

Praise the effort not the result. Only one is within their full control

It’s still extrinsic reinforcement.

No screens

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Encouraging them to find something they love and have intrinsic motivation to succeed in. And nurturing that intrinsic motivation by not introducing extrinsic motivation (payment for good grades, etc.).

How do you “nurture intrinsic motivation” without using extrinsic motivation? You never say good job or give praise (extrinsic motivators)?

Praise the effort not the result. Only one is within their full control

Anonymous wrote:Encouraging them to find something they love and have intrinsic motivation to succeed in. And nurturing that intrinsic motivation by not introducing extrinsic motivation (payment for good grades, etc.).

How do you “nurture intrinsic motivation” without using extrinsic motivation? You never say good job or give praise (extrinsic motivators)?

Encouraging them to find something they love and have intrinsic motivation to succeed in. And nurturing that intrinsic motivation by not introducing extrinsic motivation (payment for good grades, etc.).

Try setting a good example!

Live in squalor.

Anonymous wrote:I am an average person and would like my child to have a chance at being a high achiever in life. How can I help or guide him?

Ritalin

High achieving in what? Grades at school? Being a good person? Acceptance into an elite college? A particular sport? A skill or talent like piano or art? What are you even talking about?
Good parents want their kids to be happy, by the way

I am an average person and would like my child to have a chance at being a high achiever in life. How can I help or guide him?