Anonymous
01/20/2024 17:24
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Because she loves him. Because it would bring her joy to see him open it. Because it’s normal if you live close for these little interactions to happen without them being a big deal.
No, this is not normal. “Love” is just sending a gift and knowing it will be enjoyed. Self-centeredness is holding a gift hostage until you can bear witness.
It must be painful to strip yourself of normal feelings so you can pretend to be better than the mere humans. Ouch.
Seriously! I don’t understand people here. Holding a gift hostage?!? Lord almighty. She bought an awesome gift and wants to see her grandson open it. Totally normal.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 17:16
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
Wow, OP I can’t believe she does this once a year. How do you manage?!
/s
Geez, god forbid she want to see your kid open a gift that you admit he’s excited about.
/s
Geez, god forbid she want to see your kid open a gift that you admit he’s excited about.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 17:09
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
She's kind enough to order a special present and bring it to your house. Sounds great.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 17:07
Subject: Re:Why does my mom make it all about her?
Anonymous wrote:“Hey, Mom! I can bring Larlo over tomorrow at 11am to open his present. See you then.”
This isn’t that hard, OP. Stop being dramatic.
Yeah, seriously.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 17:04
Subject: Re:Why does my mom make it all about her?
“Hey, Mom! I can bring Larlo over tomorrow at 11am to open his present. See you then.”
This isn’t that hard, OP. Stop being dramatic.
This isn’t that hard, OP. Stop being dramatic.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 17:00
Subject: Re:Why does my mom make it all about her?
I don't see the big issue here...if I bought something special for a loved one and it wasn't here by the holiday, I would also want to share in the surprise of them opening it. Though I'd probably just offer some times to come over and if that didn't work I'd wait until the next tie we were together.
You say this happens once a year...ok? If it was once a month or week then yes, you'd have an issue. But dealing with some perceived madness once a year doesn't seem worth the upset.
You say this happens once a year...ok? If it was once a month or week then yes, you'd have an issue. But dealing with some perceived madness once a year doesn't seem worth the upset.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 16:35
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Because she loves him. Because it would bring her joy to see him open it. Because it’s normal if you live close for these little interactions to happen without them being a big deal.
No, this is not normal. “Love” is just sending a gift and knowing it will be enjoyed. Self-centeredness is holding a gift hostage until you can bear witness.
It must be painful to strip yourself of normal feelings so you can pretend to be better than the mere humans. Ouch.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 16:33
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
Anonymous wrote:My mother does some variation of this at least once a year and I’d love to know WHY?
This year, for a Christmas, she got DS a specialty Harry Potter book (I knew, he didn’t), it was back ordered, but she told him “a surprise would be coming”, arriving in January. We were visiting, he opened in her presence many other nice gifts, and was excited for the surprise to arrive in January.
For over a week she’s been contacting me, asking when she can drop it off. I had assumed she would just have it delivered here, but no, of course not, she wants to watch him open it. Wants to know when she can drive over and watch him open it. I know this will turn into a long visit, and it’s been a crazy week so I’ve been putting her off. Now she’s mad and frantic and wants him to have the gift ASAP. I want to scream at her that if she hadn’t made the gift about HER, he would already be enjoying it.
Why does she do this?
Calm down, Scrooge. She's his grandmother and she wants to share the joy of seeing him open something special she is giving him. Is that REALLY so hard for you to understand? No, she is not a monster. No, she is not a narcissist. She sounds normal. And don't pretend you don't care about seeing someone happy with something YOU do for them. No one is buying it.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 16:30
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
It's because she wants time with you and is embarrassed to ask for it. She wants to be treated like she's the generous and respected matriarch of the family, and like she's an authority figure. Coercing you is what makes her feel like an authority figure.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 16:13
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
Anonymous wrote:Because she loves him. Because it would bring her joy to see him open it. Because it’s normal if you live close for these little interactions to happen without them being a big deal.
No, this is not normal. “Love” is just sending a gift and knowing it will be enjoyed. Self-centeredness is holding a gift hostage until you can bear witness.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 16:11
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you drive to her? Then you don’t have to make a day of it.
Yes! This! Instead of complaining here, figure out how to take control of the situation.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 16:07
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
Why don’t you drive to her? Then you don’t have to make a day of it.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 15:50
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
Because she loves him. Because it would bring her joy to see him open it. Because it’s normal if you live close for these little interactions to happen without them being a big deal.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 15:29
Subject: Re:Why does my mom make it all about her?
She needs to feel relevant. Give her a date and time. Do it for 10am tomorrow. Also schedule something else, like a play date or “practice” that you have to take ds to at 11:30am. Done.
Anonymous
01/20/2024 15:25
Subject: Why does my mom make it all about her?
My mother does some variation of this at least once a year and I’d love to know WHY?
This year, for a Christmas, she got DS a specialty Harry Potter book (I knew, he didn’t), it was back ordered, but she told him “a surprise would be coming”, arriving in January. We were visiting, he opened in her presence many other nice gifts, and was excited for the surprise to arrive in January.
For over a week she’s been contacting me, asking when she can drop it off. I had assumed she would just have it delivered here, but no, of course not, she wants to watch him open it. Wants to know when she can drive over and watch him open it. I know this will turn into a long visit, and it’s been a crazy week so I’ve been putting her off. Now she’s mad and frantic and wants him to have the gift ASAP. I want to scream at her that if she hadn’t made the gift about HER, he would already be enjoying it.
Why does she do this?
This year, for a Christmas, she got DS a specialty Harry Potter book (I knew, he didn’t), it was back ordered, but she told him “a surprise would be coming”, arriving in January. We were visiting, he opened in her presence many other nice gifts, and was excited for the surprise to arrive in January.
For over a week she’s been contacting me, asking when she can drop it off. I had assumed she would just have it delivered here, but no, of course not, she wants to watch him open it. Wants to know when she can drive over and watch him open it. I know this will turn into a long visit, and it’s been a crazy week so I’ve been putting her off. Now she’s mad and frantic and wants him to have the gift ASAP. I want to scream at her that if she hadn’t made the gift about HER, he would already be enjoying it.
Why does she do this?