Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Similar question here. But main concern is the social piece, not academics. How did meds help with the social and making friends?

Bumping this up

For mine, the medication helped a lot socially.
1) Held back impulsivity so he interrupted conversations less (annoying to people) and could take time to think about what he was saying (rude jokes or things that could hurt feelings)
2) stopped blurting out in class or doing impulsive things that led to his isolation in the classroom
3) Generally less annoying to be around

I'm having similar struggles. DH with ADHD didn't like meds and is now against DS trying them.

DS is in 4th grade and is doing fine socially from what he can tell. He's found a group of likeminded kids and gets invited to things. I'm currently mostly worried about academics. He's bright, so he's found work arounds. He's in gifted math and reading, but he's way behind his classmates when it comes to being able to produce written work. He's improving steadily; but once he is faced with written, timed tests, it's hard to see how it's going to go well. DH thinks we don't medicate until we have a problem in school. Whereas I think it's unwise to wait for that failure as he may manage for a good long while, while not excelling and generally being exhausted from having to work so much harder than many of his peers.

Anonymous wrote:Similar question here. But main concern is the social piece, not academics. How did meds help with the social and making friends?

NP, but for mine (started meds at 15), it meant she could follow conversations involving more than one other person, and she wasn’t as anxious about saying something off-topic because she’d lost the thread. She was able to curb the impulse to cut in or talk over people. And she could do things like go to the movies with friends because she could sit still longer.

She’s also not as easily overstimulated in loud, overly-bright, or crowded environments. It still happens, but not nearly as often.

Meds really helped her apply the tools her therapist worked with her on to manage social anxiety. It was a lot harder to remember and focus on those techniques when the adhd was in control.

Anonymous wrote:Similar question here. But main concern is the social piece, not academics. How did meds help with the social and making friends?

Bumping this up

Similar question here. But main concern is the social piece, not academics. How did meds help with the social and making friends?

My child is much younger than yours. It was clear that he was not functioning at home or at school, and for him medication was possibly the difference between being in a mainstream classroom and not.

My son is so impaired by his adhd that I viewed not medicating him as keeping him from his actual cognitive abilities. Right now, he is 5 and cannot pick and choose when to take a stimulant, but my hope is that when he is older, he will be self aware of his adhd and can feel comfortable knowing if/when he needs to medicate for it. Right now he needs medication to function. I do not medicate him on weekends because he eats better off of his stimulant, and I actually feel bad about it. He is completely dysregulated while off of his stimulant.

Don't wait. Try to figure out what works - medication, therapy, tutoring, etc now! You need to have it worked out and your kid in a good place to succeed academically in High School. Now is the time to try different supports and see what works for you.

we just started in ninth grade. i wish i would’ve started last year, we saw problems starting - academically but school was letting it slide, it’s eighth grade. ninth has been a disaster so far, he fell apart academically and behaviorally. socially he’s fine. we’re working on getting it right now but in hindsight i wish we would’ve done it last year

We started meds in early elementary school because we were having challenges at home and school. We had also exhausted all of our other options including parent coaching and OT. Things became unsustainable and my child was experiencing repercussions socially which was impacting their mental health even at a young age. Things were going downhill academically, too. I'm so glad we started meds when we did because my child is doing so much better.

The doctor suggested from time of diagnosis. I resisted until he got to middle school and grades were suffering/chromebook was too tempting. I wish I had started sooner. It is in and out of your system that same day.

If it is affecting their school work or social relationships, start meds slowly, and titrate up. If not, don't. Ours started at 13, and I wish we had started sooner (for the social piece, school was fine)

What are the ways ADHD is affecting their life? At 12, your child is old enough to talk about the effort involved in staying focused/doing what they are expected to do and have an opinion about meds.

Just try, and if not helping, stop. It’s not a decision for life.

If you have a diagnosis, try the medications - they are in and out of the system same day. Worth a trial.

How do you know if you are "there" if she is struggling in multiple aspects - home and school life.

At what point did you or your kids Dr. think your child would benefit from starting medication? We're trying to find the sweet spot for our 12 year old... I don't want to look back and say "yeah we should've started that much sooner" but I don't want to start them if she doesn't need them.