Anonymous wrote:This man is 21, has never had a job, doesn’t attend college, does nothing. His parents (divorced) pay for everything he does; food, gas, car, phone, clothing. He bounces between his parents houses.

What do they each gain from this? Why doesn’t he want to launch? Why do they finance his lifestyle?

You are clearly ignorant about the world and have no idea of the real life challenges that some children face with mental illness, family hardship, poverty, physical limitations, learning disabilities, childhood abuse, which affect their ability to "launch." In fact I would say that an adult who doesn't understand this is displaying an apparent lack of having launched. I can't imagine being an adult and not having seen enough of the world to know this, you must be incredibly ignorant or lacking empathy. Are there launch programs for adults?

Anonymous wrote:This man is 21, has never had a job, doesn’t attend college, does nothing. His parents (divorced) pay for everything he does; food, gas, car, phone, clothing. He bounces between his parents houses.

What do they each gain from this? Why doesn’t he want to launch? Why do they finance his lifestyle?

Who is "This man" and what is he to you? My 19-year-old son may very well be in a similar position (although he does have a job, and I only pay for the bare necessities) because the school system (APS, in case anyone is interested) denied and denied and denied and denied our requests for intervention. We eventually hired an advocate and got him services after years of private tutors, etc. We are out thousands of dollars and DS barely graduated high school because of the school system's not just failure, but derailment of my son. I expect that he will be on a path to a trade, the military, or a 4-year degree in 2 years' time when he is 21, but I can't predict what challenges may arise in the meantime.

Whoever "This man" is, you should leave him alone and MYOB.

So many young people are not ready for independence, or even college, at 21. Many of them get there with time and help. I dont know where the "kick you out at 18" mentality started -- the 1950s, maybe? -- but the modern world, job market, housing market, etc are all different now so I see no reason to cling to that age demarcation. And parents have fewer kids, so they are more able to help + less willing to let one fail.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, find a good book to read and MYOB.

+1.
For all you know, there is serious mental or even physical illness that you don't know about. Either way, NONE of your business, relax.

A good book may be To Kill a Mockingbird. Take notes on Boo Radley and report back to us OP.

better to live in my basement than die

Usually it is mental illness or some other disability that prompts a family to care about their child’s welfare. I suppose they don’t want to see him dead in the streets.

Anonymous wrote:OP, find a good book to read and MYOB.

+1.
For all you know, there is serious mental or even physical illness that you don't know about. Either way, NONE of your business, relax.

I have a younger relative like this. His parents ignored his learning disabilities until after he was 18, and never got him appropriate help. He did finally get a series of low skill jobs.

OP, find a good book to read and MYOB.

Mind your own business! What do they gain? Perhaps the parents gain peace of mind knowing that he is safe, clothed, and has a roof over his head.

They are likely more parents than you can imagine who have concerns over failure to launch. Not your money, not your issue.

Maybe he has some mental health issues and they are allowing him a safe place while he works on them? Why do you care?

Some people I've learned don't have the capacity. Did he have special needs? Many kids with issues can't handle life on their own and we just see more of them at home because no one else will take them.

Anonymous wrote:How do you know they “allow” this?

Because they haven’t kicked him out? Haven’t stopped paying for his phone/car/insurance/etc etc. Are you serious?

How do you know they “allow” this?

This man is 21, has never had a job, doesn’t attend college, does nothing. His parents (divorced) pay for everything he does; food, gas, car, phone, clothing. He bounces between his parents houses.

What do they each gain from this? Why doesn’t he want to launch? Why do they finance his lifestyle?