Sounding board

Emergency help

Watch the grandkids in a pickle

Help plan and fund the wedding

Any mental health interventions

I struggle with that. I was on my own for everything at 18 aside from housing money help (not in the US so not a dorm with meal plan or tuition). It sucked. I don't want that for my kids, but I can also tell I have a tendency to help them out too much as a reaction to my own upbringing.

Anonymous wrote:America is a melting pot for races, religions and cultures so just wondering what boundaries parents and adult children have as what we experienced in another culture and country, isn't a useful guide here in 2024's USA.

It's a very broad question with a lot of nuanced answers. A better approach would be for you to explain what specific issues or questions you have.

Anonymous wrote:What are the rights and responsibilities of parents of 21+ employed adult children?

The same rights and responsibilities as any other adult, whether or not they have kids.

The existence of this subforum says a lot about the type of parents that frequent DCUM. I'll just leave it at that.

2 adult kids ages 23-25. We are here for support and advice/mentoring if asked. We are close with both and we see them both about 6 times a year because they still like hanging out with us. If something happened where they needed additional assistance (got laid off and needed financial help or something like that) we would help them get back on their feet, but so far that has not been necessary. It's a pretty easy job - and fun too!

America is a melting pot for races, religions and cultures so just wondering what boundaries parents and adult children have as what we experienced in another culture and country, isn't a useful guide here in 2024's USA.

Anonymous wrote:What are the rights and responsibilities of parents of 21+ employed adult children?

Are you asking if you by law have to keep 21 year old offspring on your health insurance plan if they don’t have insurance with their job or is it just optional that you can until they are 26? Or are you asking if you can by law garnish their salary if they owe you money? Or are you asking how you do involuntary addiction rehab? If can be more specific will help people to answer you better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends

On what?

The answer to this is so obvious. Their needs and your abilities, whether they be financial, educational, or emotional.

A 21 year old might be completely independent and might just need the occasional advice. Or a 21 year old might be completely dependent on you for every single need from feeding to changing their diaper.

And you might have low IQ and limited life experiences and limited financial means. Or you might be a rocket scientist level of smart with vast resources, both financially, experiential and intellectually.

Guidance counselor? Supportive mentor?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends

On what?

Their needs.

Anonymous wrote:Depends

On what?

Depends

None of either.

Cheerleader, not coach.

What are the rights and responsibilities of parents of 21+ employed adult children?