$250k in Maryland so far. I have no idea what ex-w has paid but it's less than that. Her only offer was 0/100, but in the end I got 50/50 kids and assets but had to fight over ever bit of it.

A friend of mine had a divorce in Maryland just like OP's. The legal fees were not very expensive because he offered her a huge bribe--an upfront settlement plus generous child support and alimony--to accept 50-50. His lawyer told her lawyer, "take it or leave it, if you don't accept this generous offer we'll spend the next two years in court." He got to keep the house, and paid her half of the equity, and they stayed out of court.

It was interesting that she was willing to "sell off" time with her children for cash. When the kids got older they chose to only live with their dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how contentious and whether you have kids. Your numbers sound really low for a contested divorce.

How much did it cost you? We have three kids. He doesn’t want to get divorced. So contentious in that he said “if you do this I will make sure you get nothing”. Which I mean he can’t do that because we have no prenup and we have kids but that gives you an idea of his mindset.

12 years ago. Three kids and a house etc. After over $30k each we decided it was better to try to work things out. So we put our efforts into therapy to see if we could reconcile and ended up staying together.

That's good. I never heard of reconciling in the middle of divorce proceedings esp. after having spent so much already.

3 kids? What is so bad that you want a divorce and he doesn’t ? Have you truly exhausted all options of working on the marriage?

3 kids. Enough said,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how contentious and whether you have kids. Your numbers sound really low for a contested divorce.

How much did it cost you? We have three kids. He doesn’t want to get divorced. So contentious in that he said “if you do this I will make sure you get nothing”. Which I mean he can’t do that because we have no prenup and we have kids but that gives you an idea of his mindset.

12 years ago. Three kids and a house etc. After over $30k each we decided it was better to try to work things out. So we put our efforts into therapy to see if we could reconcile and ended up staying together.

1) You can have a lawyer when you mediate. You sit on one room (with your lawyer), he sits in a different room (with his lawyer), and the mediator (usually a retired family law judge) goes back and forth and helps you negotiate.

2) If you can’t mutually agree on things in mediation, you can always go to court. Some judges will make you try mediation first anyway.

3) People say a lot of things when they are angry, hurt, and surprised. You won’t walk away with nothing. Even if you banged every dad on the block, you won’t walk away with nothing.

4) Unless he is a convicted child molester, a judge will give him 50/50 if he wants it. Don’t bother fighting over that.

5) Assets are usually 50/50 as well. You back any premarital assets out of that. Alimony, if awarded, is usually short-term.

6) You will have to get a FT job. You will have to provide health insurance, at least for yourself. You will likely need to secure childcare. But the cost of childcare gets divided proportional to income, as part of the child support formula.

7) My lawyer quoted $80k for contested.

Anything earned in the marriage is family money and it's 50-50. You need to talk to him and work it out. Otherwise you could be looking at many thousands. If you are lucky, he gets ordered to pay.

Anonymous wrote:Fair is gonna be 50 50.

I am aware of that. But that wasn’t my question.

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how contentious and whether you have kids. Your numbers sound really low for a contested divorce.

How much did it cost you? We have three kids. He doesn’t want to get divorced. So contentious in that he said “if you do this I will make sure you get nothing”. Which I mean he can’t do that because we have no prenup and we have kids but that gives you an idea of his mindset.

Fair is gonna be 50 50.

Anonymous wrote:Contested? You cheated ?

Op here. Nobody cheated. He doesn’t want to get divorced. And I need a lawyer not mediation to make sure I get a fair deal. We have three kids.

Contested? You cheated ?

You request he pays attorney fees.

Opt for mediation much cheaper.

Depends on how contentious and whether you have kids. Your numbers sound really low for a contested divorce.

In Maryland? I saw a post the other day that it cost someone 180k. I work part time and although I have a little savings my husband makes high six figures and my income is basically Pennies compared to his. How the heck am I suppose to pay for a lawyer? I had done some research and saw that it would be around 15-20k and sort of had that number in my mind. And now I’m freaking out. I have my first consult with a lawyer next week so of course I’m going to ask but I’m curious…how much did your divorce cost you?