My MiL can rile me up, but she is also a wonderful woman - would've been a CEO of something in another era. I do whatever I can to lighten the load for DH when there are issues or go in myself if help is needed and I am the only hands available.

Anonymous wrote:No, it's not normal to dislike your MIL. Some people do, and those tend to post more, which is understandable. That's all.

Best wishes to your family, OP. My MIL and parents live in Europe, and the day they have serious health issues, we'll be in trouble.

New poster, similar situation--my (now late) MIL was in Europe, and though DH has a fantastic sister and BIL there who both adored her, and we visited her every year, he felt so far away when MIL ended up in hospital unexpectedly. He went over there as soon as possible and we were so glad he did; his mom died while he was over there, so he got to see her a lot in the days before she died in the hospital, which was also unexpected.

OP, you sound like a caring daughter-in-law. Many of us love our MILs--as PP notes, it's the unhappy people who tend to post more here. Sounds like you're trying to get your DH to go and see MIL and that's the way to go here. If his workplace is telling him it's not a good time for him to be away, or if he's torn because he believes he's needed at work, please, OP, point out that there really is nothing so vitally indispensible at work that he can't let someone else handle it while he goes to see his mom.

I wish your MIL the best and I hope your DH makes that trip.

My MIL is wonderful. I adore her. She raised an amazing son who is a wonderful partner and father. I am with you. Thinking positive thoughts.

One thing I do when a close family member is in the hospital for an extended period of time is buy pizza for for nurse's station. If you feel like you cannot be there physically to help, you can help the helpers.

Thinking of you all op.

Gosh I didn't expect so many responses and I'm so grateful for all of them. I have encouraged my husband to take time off to be with his mother and to spell his 2 siblings who are local. Fingers crossed she will come through this!

I completely get this, OP, and have a MIL who is off-the-hook crazy wonderful. We all know these things are inevitable and are never ready. Sending you and your family wishes of peace.

Anonymous wrote:OP here--thanks for these kind responses. And to the one who suggested helping my husband go see her, I agree and am encouraging him to do so.

When my MIL was in the hospital my DH kept going back and forth about going. We knew she was terminally ill and I just had a bad feeling. He was thinking I’ll go when it’s time and didn’t think it was time. I booked him a one way ticket and said your flight leaves at 9 am. He is so thankful I pushed him to go because it turns out she passed away suddenly about a week after he got home.

If you can reasonably afford it I would really push him to go now. You never know if it’s too soon but he won’t regret the time with her. Best wishes for her and your family.

You could also consider sending the local siblings Uber Eats or other takeout gift cards, so meals would be one less thing for them to worry about while they are going back and forth to the hospital.

Hope your MIL improves, OP.

OP here--thanks for these kind responses. And to the one who suggested helping my husband go see her, I agree and am encouraging him to do so.

Hugs, OP. Perhaps you can help your husband figure out his schedule to go? I had a wonderful mother in law and when she was failing, I figured that was my contribution- doing my best to get one of her kids back to her.

No, it's not normal to dislike your MIL. Some people do, and those tend to post more, which is understandable. That's all.

Best wishes to your family, OP. My MIL and parents live in Europe, and the day they have serious health issues, we'll be in trouble.

I'm so sorry, OP. She and your family will be in my prayers.

I'm really sorry, OP. That's rough.

I know it's normal to not like your mother-in-law but I really love mine. I've actually known her for longer than I've known my husband. She's in the hospital in the city where she lives and is having a really hard time. I feel so bad for my husband--who is really struggling with not being there--and his local siblings who are dealing with a lot of crap at the hospital. I don't really have a point here except to ask for good thoughts for an wonderful woman.