Like everything, it depends. If you’re considering it, have an open conversation. Maybe even ask if you can do a few couples counseling sessions with their therapist to talk through apprehension.

Anonymous wrote:Are you planning to have children with this person?

If yes, the behaviors will get from annoying to deal breakers really fast.

This is really the question

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do it. With OCD comes ADHD. Going through divorce with an OCD-maniac. My son forgot his shirt on his dinner room chair she flipped the f**k out. Don’t get me started…

My OCD spouse definitely does not have ADHD. Really, he's the opposite. Extremely focused, organized, off-the-charts executive functioning skills. He's an excellent planner and our house is always clean. Challenges include the constant pressure of living up to his standards, I can't cook or eat what I like because he can't handle certain smells, and he's very rigid and not adventurous. Also, it's genetic and one child also has it bad.

Anonymous wrote:Under control with medication and therapy but still bothersome. For example obsessive cleaning, ritualistic behavior, apprehension, canceling programs at last minute, etc.

No other red flags, helpful, kind, ambitious, hard working. However, can get worse with future personal and professional responsibilities.

I'd move on, OP.

Probably not, OP. My ex had a different but related MH condition, anxiety, that was well treated at first. Over time he became less compliant or the life stresses made it less effective, and it really impacted my quality of life.

OCD can be very challenging to live close to (a sib is married to someone with OCD) and it is likely to impact you socially too.

I had not fully understood what I was taking on. In your place I'd do some reading at NAMI and maybe even their family to family program to get better informed re: what you are considering.

https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Obsessive-compulsive-Disorder

Anonymous wrote:No! My mom had severe OCD. If it is just perfectionistic tendencies that is different. Many people say things are “OCD” when they are not. Diagnosed OCD? No. A bit of a neat freak and perfectionist, that is different. If someone can hold a job and have a career, that does not rise to true OCD for me. True OCD is debilitating and prevents people from living a normal life.

Like PP is kind of saying.. there is a spectrum of ocd. I have struggled with intrusive thoughts and routines, as did some of my friends, but got past it (for the most part) without medication by going to therapy for my anxiety. I know a successful professional who is medicated for their OCD/anxiety and functions well. And sadly I know a brilliant Ivy League grad whose OCD and mental health issues have been debilitating for- preventing them from holding down a job and long term relationship. Severe OCD would be hard to live with but hard for me to make a blanket statement because each situation is so different.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do it. With OCD comes ADHD. Going through divorce with an OCD-maniac. My son forgot his shirt on his dinner room chair she flipped the f**k out. Don’t get me started…

They do have ADHD as well.

Everybody has something. I wouldn't marry someone who thought they didn't. Your sh*t stinks too.

That said, knowing is (only) half the battle. What they did with that knowledge would be equally important.

"I have _______ and I use it as an excuse for crappy behavior" is very different from "I have _________ and because I'm aware of that, I take steps to keep myself/my life/my business in order." The latter is totally workable. The former, no so much.

Anonymous wrote:If treated, yes.

Yes, it is treatable. It is the true OCD folks that can’t lead normal lives and refuse treatment that are the problem.

No! My mom had severe OCD. If it is just perfectionistic tendencies that is different. Many people say things are “OCD” when they are not. Diagnosed OCD? No. A bit of a neat freak and perfectionist, that is different. If someone can hold a job and have a career, that does not rise to true OCD for me. True OCD is debilitating and prevents people from living a normal life.

If treated, yes.

Don’t do it. With OCD comes ADHD. Going through divorce with an OCD-maniac. My son forgot his shirt on his dinner room chair she flipped the f**k out. Don’t get me started…

Nope. I know my limits.

Are you planning to have children with this person?

If yes, the behaviors will get from annoying to deal breakers really fast.

Under control with medication and therapy but still bothersome. For example obsessive cleaning, ritualistic behavior, apprehension, canceling programs at last minute, etc.

No other red flags, helpful, kind, ambitious, hard working. However, can get worse with future personal and professional responsibilities.