Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect a sizeable discount if my child's team was always scheduled to practice with another team.

No discount and our coach misses about 1/4 of our games to be with their other team.

Curious, how many teams does your coach have? Was this communicated ahead of time as a possibility?

2 teams and we knew once they were assigned, but not before we accepted the offer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is why girls on our team skip practice (U15):
Homework demands are increasing once they hit 9th grade. Coach does not demand attendance
We aren't the top team and are treated as such meaning... we get late practice times, combined practices with other teams that does not help the team gel and there's some bullying from older girls (all of this leads to a toxic envt plus tired frustrated players)
Coaches try to be "cool"/"nice" and say playing another sport is ok but then we don't have the whole team at practices regularly

As of coach of older girls, I feel like I've been here. It sounds like you would like your DDs coach to be more demanding am I right? Do you think the team/other parents would support this move? What sort of expectations were set out at the beggining? Is this something new or something you were expecting when joining the team?

Sorry, but I always try to get more of the parents view of things where I can, and I see this sort of thing a lot, especially with lower teams.

I do wish the coach would be more demanding, or more specifically hold the girls accountable for their attendance. What are we teaching kids when they can "just skip" practice with no repercussions? I make my daughter go no matter what because she needs to learn to manage her time. If she has a night with "too much homework" that means she didn't plan ahead and/or use her time wisely. She feels that is unfair because she get the impression the coach doesn't care if they are there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect a sizeable discount if my child's team was always scheduled to practice with another team.

No discount and our coach misses about 1/4 of our games to be with their other team.

Curious, how many teams does your coach have? Was this communicated ahead of time as a possibility?

Anonymous wrote:I would expect a sizeable discount if my child's team was always scheduled to practice with another team.

No discount and our coach misses about 1/4 of our games to be with their other team.

I would expect a sizeable discount if my child's team was always scheduled to practice with another team.

Anonymous wrote:Here is why girls on our team skip practice (U15):
Homework demands are increasing once they hit 9th grade. Coach does not demand attendance
We aren't the top team and are treated as such meaning... we get late practice times, combined practices with other teams that does not help the team gel and there's some bullying from older girls (all of this leads to a toxic envt plus tired frustrated players)
Coaches try to be "cool"/"nice" and say playing another sport is ok but then we don't have the whole team at practices regularly

As of coach of older girls, I feel like I've been here. It sounds like you would like your DDs coach to be more demanding am I right? Do you think the team/other parents would support this move? What sort of expectations were set out at the beggining? Is this something new or something you were expecting when joining the team?

Sorry, but I always try to get more of the parents view of things where I can, and I see this sort of thing a lot, especially with lower teams.

Here is why girls on our team skip practice (U15):
Homework demands are increasing once they hit 9th grade. Coach does not demand attendance
We aren't the top team and are treated as such meaning... we get late practice times, combined practices with other teams that does not help the team gel and there's some bullying from older girls (all of this leads to a toxic envt plus tired frustrated players)
Coaches try to be "cool"/"nice" and say playing another sport is ok but then we don't have the whole team at practices regularly

Anonymous wrote:Story of many at mid to small sized clubs. There has been such a push to market MLSNext/ECNL as the only place to be or bust. I really like clubs that like to assist those that wouldn't otherwise play travel but it feels like their commitment levels do drop as they get older. Unfortunately it's not just not having skin in the game but it's also family dynamics, transportation, work/money, focus on school/grades, other activities. I think clubs need to try to find a balance and speak more about expectations prior to making offers or taking on players. Find a way to get more commitment out of every player in the roster.

It's always tougher with older kids. They have more options and interests as they get older, especially those who can drive themselves. Believe it or not, it's also part of the reason we "over" roster at the older ages (20-22 players) as we know some won't show up from week to week due to competing activities.

I'm curious how your expectations line up with your clubs coach?

*principles*

Hello OP, I also commend you for the effort - you may or may not know, there may be a few players who appreciate what you have done/given them to move on to ECNL or MLSNext. I know we live in the microwave/insta - era, but sometimes part of the trick is to stick with it long enough to become part of the soccer community where you are a lower cost option for families that can't afford the club fees and upkeep. You are a pipeline for them. By staying with it you can also find resources to support your effort. For example, DC may be willing to subsidize some of your players or provide equipment or even transportation, etc. And quality over quantity. Tell the slackers to take a hike...

Long story short, you are making a difference in the community, even if the rewards are not immediate. One of your players may one day credit you as the reason they had a chance to play and the your principals took them all the way to the top.

Coaching soccer is death in this area. It's hard to really have any personal love for it with how awful and political every club is, losing kids to coaches who are just submitting false promises, and everything based on winning or losing.

Anonymous wrote:Story of many at mid to small sized clubs. There has been such a push to market MLSNext/ECNL as the only place to be or bust. I really like clubs that like to assist those that wouldn't otherwise play travel but it feels like their commitment levels do drop as they get older. Unfortunately it's not just not having skin in the game but it's also family dynamics, transportation, work/money, focus on school/grades, other activities. I think clubs need to try to find a balance and speak more about expectations prior to making offers or taking on players. Find a way to get more commitment out of every player in the roster.

There is a push for ECNL/MLSNext (and GA) because that's the highest level of play and it's where colleges recruit. When DD was playing, her coach encouraged kids to try out for ECNL at U13. It shouldn't be surprising that those who stay behind eventually lose interest.

Story of many at mid to small sized clubs. There has been such a push to market MLSNext/ECNL as the only place to be or bust. I really like clubs that like to assist those that wouldn't otherwise play travel but it feels like their commitment levels do drop as they get older. Unfortunately it's not just not having skin in the game but it's also family dynamics, transportation, work/money, focus on school/grades, other activities. I think clubs need to try to find a balance and speak more about expectations prior to making offers or taking on players. Find a way to get more commitment out of every player in the roster.

I've been coaching in the area for 13 years.

Part of me wants to congratulate you for working with kids who eventually move on to ECNL or MLSNext Teams. There are a lot of coaches who would like to work with that sort of talent, and hopefully some of that development was because of you.

The grass is always greener, and it's tough for smaller clubs who aren't at least 2 teams deep in each age group to field good teams consistently. The best you can hope for is that you're creating an environment and reputation that makes the prospect of leaving the team a very difficult decision. You will still lose players to what others perceive as better opportunities, but it is, what it is.

Coming from a poor family myself, families w/ low resources face more challenges than just the ability to pay for soccer. Are any of your players having transportation issues? Sometimes all it takes is to have that one or two families willing to make sure everyone gets to where they need to, to make a huge difference.

I don't know what club you are with, but it can also be a mentality people have with the club itself, especially if it's not their first choice. How the club presents itself matters.

I wish you luck! Been there, done that.

Youth coach for last 10 years. Was w some bigger and more competitive clubs in Baltimore area.

Left for a club in DC area. Supposed to be giving more opportunities to kids/families who can’t afford traditional pay to play, scholarships etc.

Took over a 2005 team 3 seasons ago, I was told that the players tried to sabotage the past coach by not showing up and they barely tried.

Trying to get kids to come to practice was like pulling teeth. The kids who were good and took it serious left. We only trained twice a week and if I had 8 kids in a session is would have been a miracle. By their junior years they stopped caring bc they weren’t winning like when they were u12/u14.

Then I took an 06 team. I’ve lost probably 10-14 kids to ECNL or MLNext teams.

I’ve tried to reload w local DC kids w ability who say they wanna take it serious.

The problem is, we have given so many scholarships and opportunities to kids, and they just do what they want. They have no skin in the game, and they don’t commit.

It’s been really frustrating. Between the 05 and 06 teams I’ve had more kids just stop showing up and leave us hanging and all of them were on scholarship. I am having a hard time just fielding a full team for showcases.

It’s disappointing because…when the US failed to qualify for 2018 WC everyone obsessed over kids falling thru the cracks.

But kids are jumping through the cracks bc the current landscape is MLSNext/ECNL or bust. The kids look at our little NL team as a rec league team. Or they are scared to buy in.

Either way, it really sucks to go from competitive environments where kids show up every session and take it serious, you try to make a difference for kids who don’t have $5k a season to spend on youth soccer, you do it for 3 years and u end up moving backward. Yes there are the core group of 8-10 dedicated families, but you try to make a difference and give kids opps and they don’t even respect you enough to show up.