Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 15:56     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
Anonymous wrote:I was venting to my sister earlier today. Our dad is in declining health and currently in rehab. He will need full time care when he gets out. He lives with me but I have a job and 2 kids; I cannot sit with him all day and be at his beck and call.

It took me 4 hrs to take him to the dr this morning. The wheelchair + oxygen make everything more time consuming. And the need to pee all the time. Did I mention it takes him 10 min to standup/sit down in the wheelchair?

100 yrs ago people would never get to this point? Why continue going to the drs? They are just going to prolong your life. More medications, pace maker, valve replacements, the things modern medicine can do are amazing. But why bother? Just go home and let nature take its course.



I agree with this assessment wholeheartedly. The emphasis has been on life extending measures, but what about quality of life? What about affordable care that doesn't cheat adult children out of their own retirement? I hope the multitudes of boomers facing end-of-life care will force people to change their thinking on this. The way things are today is truly broken.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 15:50     Subject: Re:People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
Anonymous wrote:I have watched 3 parents/in laws have long agonizing deaths involving years (in two cases) of bedrest. It is a miserable existence. I will not take any meds after the age of 85 - I hope I go quickly.


But the thing is that unless you get an aggressive illness you probably won’t go quickly. And if you don’t take any medications at all, you’ll probably be in pain and miserable during your long, drawn out old age.

I don’t want to be old either and I hope to never be a burden on my kids or spouse in old age but it’s not like any of us get to decide when we die (unless we kill ourselves)
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 15:45     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
Anonymous wrote:This is why everyone feels the boomers are so selfish they live so long and then instead of using the wealth they took from their children for inheritance they burn it up in elderly care


What should they do then, kill themselves?
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 15:37     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
My mom is 75 and I hope I die before I get to her state. It's sad and depressing.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 15:20     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
I was venting to my sister earlier today. Our dad is in declining health and currently in rehab. He will need full time care when he gets out. He lives with me but I have a job and 2 kids; I cannot sit with him all day and be at his beck and call.

It took me 4 hrs to take him to the dr this morning. The wheelchair + oxygen make everything more time consuming. And the need to pee all the time. Did I mention it takes him 10 min to standup/sit down in the wheelchair?

100 yrs ago people would never get to this point? Why continue going to the drs? They are just going to prolong your life. More medications, pace maker, valve replacements, the things modern medicine can do are amazing. But why bother? Just go home and let nature take its course.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 15:07     Subject: Re:People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
I have watched 3 parents/in laws have long agonizing deaths involving years (in two cases) of bedrest. It is a miserable existence. I will not take any meds after the age of 85 - I hope I go quickly.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 15:04     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
My dad is 86 and has been complaining about life being too long.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 15:00     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
This is why everyone feels the boomers are so selfish they live so long and then instead of using the wealth they took from their children for inheritance they burn it up in elderly care
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 14:51     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
Anonymous wrote:It's not age, it's health. The ideal (which is of course very rare) is to remain healthy for a long life, then die after a short but not painful illness. If your 89 year old month needs care, then by definition she is in declining health.


I agree. You used to just drop dead of strokes and heart attacks. Now it's this loooooong decline into senility. Most people who reach very old ages will spend at least a decade in poor healthy. Usually nothing is wrong with them, just their bodies and minds don't work as well as they used to.

I personally think 90 would be a nice year.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 14:47     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
Anonymous wrote:I agree. I secretly hope I die before I lose independence. Honestly, I hope I don’t make it to 80. Watching elderly relatives around me lose their ability to live in their homes, any independence and declining cognitive abilities have assured me of this.

No matter how healthy you are and how well you take care of yourself it happens at some point. Better to go out before you get there.


This.

And it’s not about wanting anyone to die. My sibling died in their 30s of a chronic illness. By the end they couldn’t do any daily care for themselves and also lost their ability to communicate. I don’t ever want to live like that and I think my sibling would have felt the same if they had known the future. I cried myself sick when my sibling died, but I know it was truly a mercy.

Perhaps some people don’t mind losing their independence, or want to live even when they lose it, but that’s not me - I’ll be ready to go when that happens, no matter what the age.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 14:37     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
I agree. I secretly hope I die before I lose independence. Honestly, I hope I don’t make it to 80. Watching elderly relatives around me lose their ability to live in their homes, any independence and declining cognitive abilities have assured me of this.

No matter how healthy you are and how well you take care of yourself it happens at some point. Better to go out before you get there.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 14:28     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
It's not age, it's health. The ideal (which is of course very rare) is to remain healthy for a long life, then die after a short but not painful illness. If your 89 year old month needs care, then by definition she is in declining health.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 14:23     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
90-92 seems like a good time to go. I'm hoping to live in my own little house or apartment at that age with care giver coming at times. Not in this country though.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 14:19     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
My MIL is 90, been in hospital for 2 weeks, will need full time care. She herself said she wants to end her life.

My dad is 90 and generally healthy, but he's starting to lose his vision and balance. My mom is 84 and has alzheimers and all sorts of health issues. Can't really walk well.

Being that old really does suck. I too hope to die before 90.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2024 14:12     Subject: People are living too long.. I hope to die age 82-85
I’m 59 now, taking care of my mom 89. She’s still in good health, mentally there. I’m just sick of her being in my house, I know this sounds terrible. My culture you don’t put parents in a nursing home, she/we can’t afford one either. No other siblings to help care for her.

Just venting.