Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

No kids. In our thirties. In laws are 20 mins away. He promised his parents at Christmas that we will be spending the New Years weekend with them, in front of me, without prior consultation with me. I didn’t say anything and thought we could discuss in private afterwards. When I did say no, he is flipping out about how he doesn’t want to break their hearts.

You go and then ask for a trip for just the two of you for Valentine's Day, etc. NBD. Stop looking for a fight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

No kids. In our thirties. In laws are 20 mins away. He promised his parents at Christmas that we will be spending the New Years weekend with them, in front of me, without prior consultation with me. I didn’t say anything and thought we could discuss in private afterwards. When I did say no, he is flipping out about how he doesn’t want to break their hearts.

Yeah, you married a people pleaser and need to get it in check now. Today it’s NYE weekend and tomorrow he will be promising your parents that they can camp out in the delivery room and videotape you pushing their grandchild out of your vagina.

This isn’t about NYE weekend. It’s about him regulating himself enough when he feels like he needs to please mommy & daddy.

Mommy and daddy live 20 min away and he still wants to spend the entire holiday weekend with them? Those apron strings must be really strong.

They’re only 20 minutes away? Spending a whole weekend there seems excessive.

Let him go. Enjoy the downtime. He needs to consult you before making plans on your behalf.

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such a big deal?

Can you go spend one night, and go do whatever else you wanted the rest of the weekend?

Sounds like torture to me. I would not go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

No kids. In our thirties. In laws are 20 mins away. He promised his parents at Christmas that we will be spending the New Years weekend with them, in front of me, without prior consultation with me. I didn’t say anything and thought we could discuss in private afterwards. When I did say no, he is flipping out about how he doesn’t want to break their hearts.

“Sorry babe. This is on you. You never should have told them we were going to spend the weekend with them without first talking to me. That’s not how marriage works. I’m sure you can figure this out.”

^^^And if you’re okay with spending one night there, then offer that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

No kids. In our thirties. In laws are 20 mins away. He promised his parents at Christmas that we will be spending the New Years weekend with them, in front of me, without prior consultation with me. I didn’t say anything and thought we could discuss in private afterwards. When I did say no, he is flipping out about how he doesn’t want to break their hearts.

“Sorry babe. This is on you. You never should have told them we were going to spend the weekend with them without first talking to me. That’s not how marriage works. I’m sure you can figure this out.”

Why is this such a big deal?

Can you go spend one night, and go do whatever else you wanted the rest of the weekend?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

No kids. In our thirties. In laws are 20 mins away. He promised his parents at Christmas that we will be spending the New Years weekend with them, in front of me, without prior consultation with me. I didn’t say anything and thought we could discuss in private afterwards. When I did say no, he is flipping out about how he doesn’t want to break their hearts.

Is it really that much of an imposition on your precious time to spend the weekend with the family of the man you supposedly love?

Some of you are just looking for reasons to be miserable.

Anonymous wrote:More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

No kids. In our thirties. In laws are 20 mins away. He promised his parents at Christmas that we will be spending the New Years weekend with them, in front of me, without prior consultation with me. I didn’t say anything and thought we could discuss in private afterwards. When I did say no, he is flipping out about how he doesn’t want to break their hearts.

Anonymous wrote:And wants us to sleep over there!

Wtf? New Years is NOT a family holiday!! And I definitely do not want to sleep over there.

Opportunity is slapping you right in the face and you ignore?!
Stay home and enjoy the peace and quiet!
He can take the kids if you have any

More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

Then don’t. Tell him to enjoy. If you want him to take the kids, help him pack them up. Then enjoy a quiet weekend to yourself.

If he “insists” that you go, stand firm and say no. Tell him you’re tired from the holidays and you will not be getting in the car. Then don’t get in the car.

Sounds like a “you” problem. You are not limited to seeing family on “family” weekends

And wants us to sleep over there!

Wtf? New Years is NOT a family holiday!! And I definitely do not want to sleep over there.