Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - I def don’t think dh is the a.
I just am not thrilled and wondering if that makes me an a.
I would mind less if the neighbor was less weird and annoying or if the neighbor truly had no one. But the neighbor just didn’t want to go to his own family so I don’t think it should be our problem to have to host him.

The fact that you think of another human being as a problem, especially on Christmas, says a lot and it’s probably why your husband didn’t tell you first.

so you never find any other human beings to be a problem? That's clearly not true.
You are finding op to be a problem right now, for example.
I think you'll find you are less nice than you like to think you are.

Anonymous wrote:Op - I def don’t think dh is the a.
I just am not thrilled and wondering if that makes me an a.
I would mind less if the neighbor was less weird and annoying or if the neighbor truly had no one. But the neighbor just didn’t want to go to his own family so I don’t think it should be our problem to have to host him.

totally agree with you

Anonymous wrote:Op - I def don’t think dh is the a.
I just am not thrilled and wondering if that makes me an a.
I would mind less if the neighbor was less weird and annoying or if the neighbor truly had no one. But the neighbor just didn’t want to go to his own family so I don’t think it should be our problem to have to host him.

The fact that you think of another human being as a problem, especially on Christmas, says a lot and it’s probably why your husband didn’t tell you first.

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sounds like a really nice guy. That’s probably one of the reasons you married him. You should go with it.

DP. My husband is a really really nice guy too but sometimes not considerate. I can see him doing what OP’s husband did. I would be annoyed too and would need to go with the flow. I would tell him to check with you first.

Op - I def don’t think dh is the a.
I just am not thrilled and wondering if that makes me an a.
I would mind less if the neighbor was less weird and annoying or if the neighbor truly had no one. But the neighbor just didn’t want to go to his own family so I don’t think it should be our problem to have to host him.

Your husband is a the A for not checking with you before he invited the neighbor over. That said, the guy's all alone, the least you could do is have him over dinner or a drink. He doesn't have to spend all day with you.

Your husband sounds like a really nice guy. That’s probably one of the reasons you married him. You should go with it.

YTA

I’d be maybe a little annoyed but ok with it. It’s Christmas.

Just go with it. Christmas is about being welcoming. It is good for your kids to see DH reaching out to people.
Many people in society are odd and dumb.

Alternatively you can send the large plate of food over.

Maybe send DH with a fully stocked plate over. That’s still awkward but maybe all he wants is food

Dh is the A. It's not like the neighbor is all alone with nowhere to go (in which case he still should have cleared it with you!). He's just choosing not to spend it with his family so I really don't see why he had to be invited.

No nta. I'd be upset too.

I don't think there is an A here.
Yes, fair to be a little annoyed (you), yes fair to be moved by the spirit (DH), probably genius to stay home and get an invite where yo don't have to work (neighbor), but it's christmas, and everyone in this story is probably doing the best they can and it will be funny in a year.

We have a neighbor who is quite odd, nice in some ways, but presents as v dumb (not sure if he actually is or if that’s his ‘thing’)
The neighbor decided not to go with his wife to her family for Xmas as he does not like them. So dh invited him to spend it with us without asking me first.
I get how he felt put on the spot, but really would prefer to not have this person over for Christmas. I don’t think there is anything can do about it at this point. But aita for not being thrilled about the whole thing?