Anonymous wrote:Use your words!

It’d be so much kinder to yourself and to your guests just to tell them your needs clearly ahead of time.

Yes, I have to agree w/this.

Most people will understand your message & thus give you your space alone.

Those that do not??
Then simply bow out gracefully + do not give it another thought either way.

Tell them beforehand that you get up early to do a few things or whatever. Just communicate

When they first arrive, and you’re helping them settle in, can’t you just say “coffee is on a timer for 6am. If you hear me get up, it just to get my coffee and then go back upstairs before I start the day. Help yourself and don’t feel like you have to be up early!”

If they don’t get the message, just do a brief good morning and say “hey I’m going to head upstairs because I’m not ready to start my day. Please help yourself to anything and I’ll see you in a little bit? Looking forward to our XYZ plans later.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were a houseguest, and I was awake, I would feel rude if I ignored the host when I came downstairs. If you’re close enough that they’re staying over, can you laugh and say “I need my morning coffee before I’m a real person, I’ll be in talking mode in 20 minutes”

My neighbors have a coffee pot and small fridge in their bedroom so they can have coffee in bed. Maybe an option for OO.

This. Just got a Keurig mini to keep on my person when we have guests.

Or get the mini to keep in the office and never come out...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were a houseguest, and I was awake, I would feel rude if I ignored the host when I came downstairs. If you’re close enough that they’re staying over, can you laugh and say “I need my morning coffee before I’m a real person, I’ll be in talking mode in 20 minutes”

My neighbors have a coffee pot and small fridge in their bedroom so they can have coffee in bed. Maybe an option for OO.

This. Just got a Keurig mini to keep on my person when we have guests.

Use your words!

It’d be so much kinder to yourself and to your guests just to tell them your needs clearly ahead of time.

I put coffee on a timer for 6am, and some of my houseguests were up this morning having some before me. I like it that way.

OP, I get you completely.

But several years ago, I just started being honest. I told family guests that I really need an hour or so to drink coffee, go through work, and collect myself in the morning.

I felt odd doing it, but it was perfectly fine. They said OK and there have been no problems since then. I don't know what they might think to themselves, but I get my me-time and don't have resentment.

I will say this depends a bit on what time we are talking and for how long. I tend to get up around 6:30-7:30, grab coffee, spend 30-60 minutes by myself and am ready for the day. If you're showing up at 9:00 and don't want to interact with anyone until 11:00, that is a bit different...

I had a cheerful houseguest try to talk to me at 3am while I was trying to see if we had Tylenol. “Oh, you’re up! Bla bla bla”

Irritating.

I get it OP but you need to say something.
I went to the beach with a friend who I go walking with when we’re at home. ( we’re both married with kids and went for one night to have a break)
I told her that when I get up I want to go out with my dog alone for a walk first. I just need that time to kind of start my day. Told her I would go out with her later for a walk. She was fine with it.

Anonymous wrote:If I were a houseguest, and I was awake, I would feel rude if I ignored the host when I came downstairs. If you’re close enough that they’re staying over, can you laugh and say “I need my morning coffee before I’m a real person, I’ll be in talking mode in 20 minutes”

My neighbors have a coffee pot and small fridge in their bedroom so they can have coffee in bed. Maybe an option for OO.

Sorry, OP, I totally get it.

Same, OP, same.

If I were a houseguest, and I was awake, I would feel rude if I ignored the host when I came downstairs. If you’re close enough that they’re staying over, can you laugh and say “I need my morning coffee before I’m a real person, I’ll be in talking mode in 20 minutes”

Guess as you get older, you just get a little pickier about things. I used to be a go with the flow. Now when we have houseguests I get all kinds of anxious over every aspect. I feel like I always have to be "on" making sure they have something to eat, that they are comfortable,etc...

biggest pet peeve? I am an early riser and live for my early mornings ALONE. When I tiptoe to make coffee so I can quickly grab a cup and scramble to my home office, almost with fail they hear me and come down and start talking! ARGHHHH! Nothing sends me over the edge as much as that does. They want to talk, and talk and talk. I feel rude (and guilty) for saying I have to go to my office to catch up on work aka just escape for some solitude. Do I sound like a horrible person.

To boot, I could stay in my office all day long. When I walk out I need to start thinking about planning the next meal, all the Christmas gifts sitting in my hall closet that need wrapping, the beds that need changing, etc....

bottom line- can't wait til the holidays are over. Had to vent