Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 10:52     Subject: Re:529s for nieces and nephews
I would gift to the ones who need it most and keep my mouth shut. If the wealthier family finds out about it and complains I’d have a serious chat with the parents about helping those in need.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 10:32     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
OP this is lovely

It is your call
If I could afford it I would do it for all of them.

In my case I could not as my brother Mr criminal would have found a way to withdraw grounds his kids would have never received them.

Hence I only did my sisters children.


Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 10:28     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
Anonymous wrote:I would not feel bad AT ALL if someone in my family helped out my nephews with college but not my kids. DH and I aren’t rich but we are comfortable and do save for our kids’ college. My nephews have wonderful, loving parents who can’t afford that. Act, I know for a fact that my parents have given one nephew $$ for college. It is reasonable and fair, in my book.


This is how I feel but my parents are leaving less to me than my sibs because our financial situations are so different. And I am 100% ok with it. I don’t see it as them loving me less. But the $100k for whatever to my sibs will have a much bigger impact to them and for me it won’t matter.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 09:58     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
I would not feel bad AT ALL if someone in my family helped out my nephews with college but not my kids. DH and I aren’t rich but we are comfortable and do save for our kids’ college. My nephews have wonderful, loving parents who can’t afford that. Act, I know for a fact that my parents have given one nephew $$ for college. It is reasonable and fair, in my book.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 07:43     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, you give each child the same amount.


This, You will create a lot of unneeded animosity and resentment if it isn't equal. At any time the ones doing well could lose a job, have insane medical bills, go on disability or lose a spouse. It must be equal or you are going to cause more trouble than if you gave nothing to anyone.


But they already have a lot in 529s. And I could help the kids at that point (and I would).
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 07:42     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
Anonymous wrote:Talk to a good family therapist or a really good financial advisor and they will tell you how damaging it is to give unequal financial gifts. Read up on what happens when parents give unequal inheritances and that will give you some idea. You will have people come on here and say it's your money do as you please and they wouldn't care, but the reality is causes so many problems.


But I am not the parents.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2023 17:52     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
Talk to a good family therapist or a really good financial advisor and they will tell you how damaging it is to give unequal financial gifts. Read up on what happens when parents give unequal inheritances and that will give you some idea. You will have people come on here and say it's your money do as you please and they wouldn't care, but the reality is causes so many problems.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2023 17:29     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
Anonymous wrote:No, you give each child the same amount.


This, You will create a lot of unneeded animosity and resentment if it isn't equal. At any time the ones doing well could lose a job, have insane medical bills, go on disability or lose a spouse. It must be equal or you are going to cause more trouble than if you gave nothing to anyone.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2023 16:57     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes absolutely. Why would you pay for kids college when their parents are perfectly able to do so? Give more to the kids who will need it.


I don’t want anyone to feel slighted and that we don’t care as much as the ones who have parents who can pay.


Why would you share that information with the other family? It's no one's business.


I won’t. But I have no idea what they would say to each other. I would prefer to give more money to those that I know won’t have much parent support.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2023 16:37     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes absolutely. Why would you pay for kids college when their parents are perfectly able to do so? Give more to the kids who will need it.


I don’t want anyone to feel slighted and that we don’t care as much as the ones who have parents who can pay.


Why would you share that information with the other family? It's no one's business.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2023 16:19     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
No, you give each child the same amount.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2023 16:15     Subject: Re:529s for nieces and nephews
Wow. You are a very kind aunt/uncle.

If you want to give equitably, do that. It’s your gift. As such, it’s your choice. No moral obligation to consider personal finances of the parents (which is none of your business anyway) unless you want to play the assumption/favorites game, which your prior posts do not sound like.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2023 13:31     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
Anonymous wrote:Yes absolutely. Why would you pay for kids college when their parents are perfectly able to do so? Give more to the kids who will need it.


I don’t want anyone to feel slighted and that we don’t care as much as the ones who have parents who can pay.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2023 13:30     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
Yes absolutely. Why would you pay for kids college when their parents are perfectly able to do so? Give more to the kids who will need it.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2023 13:27     Subject: 529s for nieces and nephews
If you were going to start 529s for your nieces and nephews, would parent ability to pay factor in to how you contributed?

In our family, 2 sets have parents who won’t be able to contribute much and 2 sets have parents who make a lot and could fully pay for college.