If he pays rent he should probably be allowed to leave the bed unmade.

Is the idea here that the mom is going in his room and making the bed? That’s really weird unless it’s psych warfare. That would be as weird as going in the guest room and making the beds while you have guests.

What? You know the answer to this.

A 25 year old should certainly be able to make his own bed, but he should also be afforded the privilege of deciding whether or not to make his own bed.

After the age of 21 or so I would never have wanted my mother to flit freely in and out of my room and opine on the way I live. This is why it isn't really a good idea for adult children to live with their parents--it infantilizes them. Either you're an adult, and you pay your own way and can make your own decisions and live your life according to your whims, or you aren't paying your own way and your parents feel free to treat you like a child still because you are dependent on them and still occupying the child role.

Your son needs to leave your house asap, OP.

Anonymous wrote:You should be treating him like a roommate. His bed is up to him. Yes, he should be contributing to household with money, chores or both.

+1.

I'm an adult, can make my bed, but don't because it seems silly to me. I'd treat an adult child the same as a roommate, keeping things tidy in their room is their business, provided there's not like food or something in there. Helping out/cleaning in the public areas of the house is a reasonable expectation, though.

Are you making his bed for him? Are you also doing his laundry? This is your issue. Stop doing that. That's on him. And yes, I would expect a 25 year old to take on shared household tasks if he's going to live there. Make a chore chart.

Yes why is he still living at home?

How much is his rent?

Nothing?????

That's the problem.

Of course he SHOULD be able to make his bed. He might not care to.

It is not rude to ask someone who lives you with to help out around the house. As always, do it kindly.

And last, I would also start charging him rent. It can be a small amount at first, something like $200-$500. Just something to get him used to having that bill in his budgeting. Then if you feel he is not a good roommate, you can have discussions about him moving out...

This is a joke, right?

You should be treating him like a roommate. His bed is up to him. Yes, he should be contributing to household with money, chores or both.

A 25 year old should also be able to expect privacy in his own room and to make his own decision about whether or not to make his bed.

Asking him to help in common areas or outdoors, or to pay rent or contribute to utilities is reasonable.

Yes he can make his own bed. But for him it's not important enough. His value system is obviously different than yours. Yes, you can ask him to help out around the house. I think that's a fair thing to ask.

If you are concerned about his bed, time for him to go.

Is he unable to do it? Or he won't?

Start charging rent. He will leave.

Should a 25 year old be able to make to make his own bed?
Is it rude to ask him to help around the house?
Works full time and has a good job....