Anonymous wrote:One we toured didn’t allow family visits during meal time? Are they that cheap that they don’t want to risk feeding others?

Most places charge visitors for meals, I think (my mom's place does). The most benign explanation I can think of is that some residents don't eat well when they're distracted by company.

But other than that, I can't think of any good reasons not to allow visitors during meals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one that just set up down the street. They don’t allow visitors without a set appointment. Meaning they’ll always know when a loved one will be coming by. It’s a little terrifying for the loved one.

This is against the law. I would call the State Elder Ombudsman office and tell them.

Really?? Here’s what their website says: “to protect our residents, in-person meetings are by appointment only”. This is a company that bought a house in a very residential suburb (for cash) and turned it into a group home- they got licensed but didn’t follow any of the HOA rules about notifications.

Anonymous wrote:We have one that just set up down the street. They don’t allow visitors without a set appointment. Meaning they’ll always know when a loved one will be coming by. It’s a little terrifying for the loved one.

This is against the law. I would call the State Elder Ombudsman office and tell them.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it is hard. I think it takes a lot of money for them to stand a chance of being nice. And it is just plain hard to care for an elderly person who isn't that mobile (forget the non-mobile!) and has to be toileted and bathed. Many die soon due to UTIs.

Die too soon in general or in these private home ALF?

One we toured didn’t allow family visits during meal time? Are they that cheap that they don’t want to risk feeding others?

Anonymous wrote:We have one that just set up down the street. They don’t allow visitors without a set appointment. Meaning they’ll always know when a loved one will be coming by. It’s a little terrifying for the loved one.

Yep, this. I wouldn't do private home unless I was desperate.

We have one that just set up down the street. They don’t allow visitors without a set appointment. Meaning they’ll always know when a loved one will be coming by. It’s a little terrifying for the loved one.

Yeah, it is hard. I think it takes a lot of money for them to stand a chance of being nice. And it is just plain hard to care for an elderly person who isn't that mobile (forget the non-mobile!) and has to be toileted and bathed. Many die soon due to UTIs.

We have been touring some this weekend, and some of these places are so SCARY!!! They literally kick a resident out of the room so they can have a meeting with us--such an awful way to treat someone. And then some residents have the look on their faces like they are the characters in Get Out. Oh my. I need a drink.