Anonymous
Post 12/15/2023 13:56     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
Thanks for the input. I scheduled an intake call for testing. My husband and I actually work with a parenting coach because we have struggled so much with how to properly support our daughter (and the dynamic with her sibling). Her intensity has always been dialed up to the maximum. The parenting coach was another person who was sort of indifferent about testing, but at our last session, the coach (an lcsw) started specifically describing how we needed to do x, y and z because of our daughter’s adhd. Suddenly alarm bells were going off— my daughter does not actually have a diagnosis and maybe she should have one. That was why I asked — I really appreciate the perspectives. I didn’t want to seek out a diagnosis unless it could actually help us provide better support.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2023 17:54     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
Honestly, get the eval NOW. 3rd grade is a year when expectations step up, and again in 6th & 9th & college. Kids who are not able to create and stick to habitual ways of doing things and get thru a list of obligations with some speed start to have trouble of all kinds in school. They become the kid who can't track papers, is always forgetting something at school, can't consistently and quickly get thru multiple steps of directions, multi-step math problems, etc.

You've actually already described a kid who is struggling, but, because the expectations in ES are low, isn't suffering consequences.

Ideally, you want to be diagnosed properly and understand what supports could be helpful and offer them before a kid experiences negative consequences.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2023 10:26     Subject: Re:When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
I don’t think she has ASD. She is pretty friendly, with a good sense of humor - when she isn’t bouncing off the walls. Anger and frustration can be tricky too. She is so sensitive to her own ideas about right and wrong. I guess the most obvious symptom is the incredible amount of time it takes her to do a morning or night routine. She used to refuse these routines completely, but she still kind of gets lost in them. It works better when she races someone or tries to give herself a limit. She also likes company and prompting.

What you wrote in the bolded above perfectly describes my ADHD/ASD son. His special ed case manager has even said the entire school loves him. Please don't get caught up in stereotypes. My kid can be friendly and witty while making eye contact one minute and then have a meltdown over a perceived broken "rule" (that only he is aware of) during a game of Clue or have a totally disproportionate reaction to a change in routine or unexpected transition.

Pre-diagnosis we also turned everything into a race to help him get through morning/evening routines, but really all that's doing is making your own accommodations for her which doesn't mean it's actually fixed and not everyone will be willing to do that as she gets older.

I'd get an evaluation to check for everything-whether it be neuropsych or even psychoeducational testing.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2023 09:01     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Now. She likely has ASD too.


I think think I made things sound worse by not providing any specific examples. Sorry! The reason why I haven’t had her tested is that it often feels like things are getting better and I wonder how the label will help her if she doesn’t seem to need additional support at school. She does sometimes have trouble completing work - but somehow it doesn’t seem to matter.

She is the kid who can’t help but react to commotion around her. And then she has trouble calming down. She gets way over the top silly - in a performative way. Last year, when she rode the bus, she would exit looking like she was drunk — dancing and then tumbling in the grass. Sometimes, she would process some of her experiences later and feel shame (she reacted to others’ behavior by invading their space). She asked me to send her to a different school. Her current teacher has excellent classroom control and it has been a game changer.

I don’t think she has ASD. She is pretty friendly, with a good sense of humor - when she isn’t bouncing off the walls. Anger and frustration can be tricky too. She is so sensitive to her own ideas about right and wrong. I guess the most obvious symptom is the incredible amount of time it takes her to do a morning or night routine. She used to refuse these routines completely, but she still kind of gets lost in them. It works better when she races someone or tries to give herself a limit. She also likes company and prompting.

During Covid times, her trouble with transitions became such a challenge that she explained to me she no longer wanted to leave the house because if she left she would eventually have to figure out how to leave that place to come back home. There’s some anxiety in our family.


Based on this I would say now. It doesn't mean you have to start medication. But her self esteem is going to take a hit, or maybe already has. What you've described isn't just bad classroom management - good teachers really do make a huge difference, but it sounds like she's struggling outside of the classroom too.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2023 06:58     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
Anonymous wrote:When the behaviors are impacting their lives.

For us it was kindergarten for one and second grade for the other. Kindergartener had to be medicated because it was so severe, child was not able to focus enough to learn anything.



+1. For us, it was 5th grade and it started impacting things socially. FYI not much changed academically afterwards for us but the impulse control started impacting so many other areas where he was noticing and bothered.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 23:32     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Now. She likely has ASD too.


I think think I made things sound worse by not providing any specific examples. Sorry! The reason why I haven’t had her tested is that it often feels like things are getting better and I wonder how the label will help her if she doesn’t seem to need additional support at school. She does sometimes have trouble completing work - but somehow it doesn’t seem to matter.

She is the kid who can’t help but react to commotion around her. And then she has trouble calming down. She gets way over the top silly - in a performative way. Last year, when she rode the bus, she would exit looking like she was drunk — dancing and then tumbling in the grass. Sometimes, she would process some of her experiences later and feel shame (she reacted to others’ behavior by invading their space). She asked me to send her to a different school. Her current teacher has excellent classroom control and it has been a game changer.

I don’t think she has ASD. She is pretty friendly, with a good sense of humor - when she isn’t bouncing off the walls. Anger and frustration can be tricky too. She is so sensitive to her own ideas about right and wrong. I guess the most obvious symptom is the incredible amount of time it takes her to do a morning or night routine. She used to refuse these routines completely, but she still kind of gets lost in them. It works better when she races someone or tries to give herself a limit. She also likes company and prompting.

During Covid times, her trouble with transitions became such a challenge that she explained to me she no longer wanted to leave the house because if she left she would eventually have to figure out how to leave that place to come back home. There’s some anxiety in our family.



I know you don't want to hear it but what you describe is my daughter: ASD (Asperger's as it was then known)(high I.Q); ADHD; Anxiety disorder. We started testing her at age 4 and did it about every three years after that. By third grade we were pretty sure it was ADHD. By sixth grade we had the ADHD/Anxiety/high I.Q. nailed down but it wasn't until she entered high school that we finally got the aspergers diagnosis which was clearly what she struggled most with. You need to have the testing done for your child. There is no way you can advocate for her, get the right classes, find the right school, etc., if you don't have good testing and a sound diagnosis.


Thank you. This really clicked for me. She is definitely wired differently, but we have had many people tell us over the years that she is just a regular, typically developing kid. The preschool teachers thought I was particularly crazy because she was totally compliant there (and somewhat violent at home back then). She does very well with predictable schedules. I do not understand how she became such an attention junkie - it feels like a major vulnerability. Last year, her teacher was struggling and the total chaos in the classroom made for the worst year ever.

How is your daughter doing now?
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 22:40     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Now. She likely has ASD too.


I think think I made things sound worse by not providing any specific examples. Sorry! The reason why I haven’t had her tested is that it often feels like things are getting better and I wonder how the label will help her if she doesn’t seem to need additional support at school. She does sometimes have trouble completing work - but somehow it doesn’t seem to matter.

She is the kid who can’t help but react to commotion around her. And then she has trouble calming down. She gets way over the top silly - in a performative way. Last year, when she rode the bus, she would exit looking like she was drunk — dancing and then tumbling in the grass. Sometimes, she would process some of her experiences later and feel shame (she reacted to others’ behavior by invading their space). She asked me to send her to a different school. Her current teacher has excellent classroom control and it has been a game changer.

I don’t think she has ASD. She is pretty friendly, with a good sense of humor - when she isn’t bouncing off the walls. Anger and frustration can be tricky too. She is so sensitive to her own ideas about right and wrong. I guess the most obvious symptom is the incredible amount of time it takes her to do a morning or night routine. She used to refuse these routines completely, but she still kind of gets lost in them. It works better when she races someone or tries to give herself a limit. She also likes company and prompting.

During Covid times, her trouble with transitions became such a challenge that she explained to me she no longer wanted to leave the house because if she left she would eventually have to figure out how to leave that place to come back home. There’s some anxiety in our family.



I know you don't want to hear it but what you describe is my daughter: ASD (Asperger's as it was then known)(high I.Q); ADHD; Anxiety disorder. We started testing her at age 4 and did it about every three years after that. By third grade we were pretty sure it was ADHD. By sixth grade we had the ADHD/Anxiety/high I.Q. nailed down but it wasn't until she entered high school that we finally got the aspergers diagnosis which was clearly what she struggled most with. You need to have the testing done for your child. There is no way you can advocate for her, get the right classes, find the right school, etc., if you don't have good testing and a sound diagnosis.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 22:35     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
She will likely outgrow the silliness in 3-4 years.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 22:31     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
Anonymous wrote:Now. She likely has ASD too.


I think think I made things sound worse by not providing any specific examples. Sorry! The reason why I haven’t had her tested is that it often feels like things are getting better and I wonder how the label will help her if she doesn’t seem to need additional support at school. She does sometimes have trouble completing work - but somehow it doesn’t seem to matter.

She is the kid who can’t help but react to commotion around her. And then she has trouble calming down. She gets way over the top silly - in a performative way. Last year, when she rode the bus, she would exit looking like she was drunk — dancing and then tumbling in the grass. Sometimes, she would process some of her experiences later and feel shame (she reacted to others’ behavior by invading their space). She asked me to send her to a different school. Her current teacher has excellent classroom control and it has been a game changer.

I don’t think she has ASD. She is pretty friendly, with a good sense of humor - when she isn’t bouncing off the walls. Anger and frustration can be tricky too. She is so sensitive to her own ideas about right and wrong. I guess the most obvious symptom is the incredible amount of time it takes her to do a morning or night routine. She used to refuse these routines completely, but she still kind of gets lost in them. It works better when she races someone or tries to give herself a limit. She also likes company and prompting.

During Covid times, her trouble with transitions became such a challenge that she explained to me she no longer wanted to leave the house because if she left she would eventually have to figure out how to leave that place to come back home. There’s some anxiety in our family.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 21:12     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
Now. She likely has ASD too.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 21:03     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
When the behaviors are impacting their lives.

For us it was kindergarten for one and second grade for the other. Kindergartener had to be medicated because it was so severe, child was not able to focus enough to learn anything.

Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 17:48     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter who has impulse control issues and some task initiation/completion challenges. She is in third grade. We have been down a long road of sensory stuff, social concerns and behavior challenges… but somehow the academics seem ok. She is a quick learner and seems to appreciate a challenge.

When is testing useful? Thanks!


Sounds like you should have done it a year or two ago, but no time like the present.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 17:47     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
My kid was a straight A student all through HS and now first year of college. Diagnosed with ADHD in 10 th grade. I wish we’d figured it out sooner.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 17:44     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
ADHD affects kids of all intelligences. Her academic success doesn’t mean she can’t have ADHD. I kind of wonder why you haven’t tests already
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 17:40     Subject: When do you get a kid evaluated for ADHD?
I have a daughter who has impulse control issues and some task initiation/completion challenges. She is in third grade. We have been down a long road of sensory stuff, social concerns and behavior challenges… but somehow the academics seem ok. She is a quick learner and seems to appreciate a challenge.

When is testing useful? Thanks!