Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The going back and forth was too much. He would not buy clothes. I was sick of buying the same thing for two kids for two houses. Divorced 4 years. We are going to start nesting: I can’t switch the toys and clothes any more.

I would prefer separate houses if he would buy stuff. He won’t. Kids did not mind switching.

Why are you switching toys and clothes? I'm assuming the kids are at least school aged (if divorced 4 years already). That's old enough to understand that toys stay at the house. Send them in whatever clothes he sent them to you in. He can buy clothes at his house. If he refuses to clothe his children, then it's time to speak to your lawyer-perhaps he needs less parenting time.

No way would I start 'nesting' because the fool won't buy clothes for his kids.

My ex is an attorney. Not with the fight. He will not buy what they need. No one can force him to do that. They don’t want to leave certain toys behind. I feel like I am taking care of two houses rather than one. Nesting will be much easier with less communication and no switching…we did it temporarily before and it was far easier. Two houses don’t work in my situation.

Have you tried nesting and the kids stay in the house and the parcel move back and forth? Its inconvenient for sure but that's the point. It inconveniences the adults and not the kids. Plus our kids have sports and instrument and it's just a lot to carry sound. Ex and I just go to work every day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a headache and I would never recommend this custody split to anyone. Parents like it. Not great for kids. Dc has clothes at both but as they get older and more attached to certain items, it is an issue

I agree. I suggested a nesting routine, which would have made our kids’ lives so much easier. It was a hard no from my ex.

Generally they have a set of clothes at both our places and it’s up to them to remember to pack each week. They have a big Lands End bag that usually is enough for the their stuff for the week.

It would be a hard no from me too. I don’t want to share space with my ex, even if we aren’t there at the same time.

The needs of the parents have to be prioritized here. The children’s needs are secondary.

Anonymous wrote:The going back and forth was too much. He would not buy clothes. I was sick of buying the same thing for two kids for two houses. Divorced 4 years. We are going to start nesting: I can’t switch the toys and clothes any more.

I would prefer separate houses if he would buy stuff. He won’t. Kids did not mind switching.

Why are you switching toys and clothes? I'm assuming the kids are at least school aged (if divorced 4 years already). That's old enough to understand that toys stay at the house. Send them in whatever clothes he sent them to you in. He can buy clothes at his house. If he refuses to clothe his children, then it's time to speak to your lawyer-perhaps he needs less parenting time.

No way would I start 'nesting' because the fool won't buy clothes for his kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a headache and I would never recommend this custody split to anyone. Parents like it. Not great for kids. Dc has clothes at both but as they get older and more attached to certain items, it is an issue

I agree. I suggested a nesting routine, which would have made our kids’ lives so much easier. It was a hard no from my ex.

Generally they have a set of clothes at both our places and it’s up to them to remember to pack each week. They have a big Lands End bag that usually is enough for the their stuff for the week.

Or, the parent who doesn't agree with the back and forth, can just do every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer. Simple Nesting - hard no.

So the parent who actually cares about the child's well being should give up most of their time with them? Yeah no.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have clothing that is designated Mom’s or Dad’s and stays there, or do they just go wearing and outfit and come back in another so the clothing ends up rotating?

What about special things?

It’s one reason I chose a school with uniforms. The school clothes rotated and I would replace them if they got gross, but it made sure that nice things couldn’t vanish at my ex’s quite as much.

The going back and forth was too much. He would not buy clothes. I was sick of buying the same thing for two kids for two houses. Divorced 4 years. We are going to start nesting: I can’t switch the toys and clothes any more.

I would prefer separate houses if he would buy stuff. He won’t. Kids did not mind switching.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a headache and I would never recommend this custody split to anyone. Parents like it. Not great for kids. Dc has clothes at both but as they get older and more attached to certain items, it is an issue

I agree. I suggested a nesting routine, which would have made our kids’ lives so much easier. It was a hard no from my ex.

Generally they have a set of clothes at both our places and it’s up to them to remember to pack each week. They have a big Lands End bag that usually is enough for the their stuff for the week.

Or, the parent who doesn't agree with the back and forth, can just do every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer. Simple Nesting - hard no.

My child wears uniforms for school, which is very easy, we just buy uniforms for both houses like three sets for each. For other clothes, they really don't take anything back and forth other than like jackets or school shoes, which they're wearing anyways.

We do coordinate for special clothes like holiday stuff, like we don't need two Holiday dresses we'll just buy one and split the cost. But everyday stuff we don't take back and forth. If kid wants something specific from the other house we'll just grab that at pickup it's no big deal.
My child takes very little back and forth it's really not been an issue.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a headache and I would never recommend this custody split to anyone. Parents like it. Not great for kids. Dc has clothes at both but as they get older and more attached to certain items, it is an issue

I agree. I suggested a nesting routine, which would have made our kids’ lives so much easier. It was a hard no from my ex.

Generally they have a set of clothes at both our places and it’s up to them to remember to pack each week. They have a big Lands End bag that usually is enough for the their stuff for the week.

Clothes at both homes. If they wear something to the other house that you want back, just ask the other parent to make sure it returns.
As they get older, kids just take what they want. I have one DD who doesn't take much and another who packs everything.

It really just depends. At our house, sports clothes live with the parent who has custody on sports days. DD's ballet stuff lives with me because I handle ballet. They have a set of basic day to day clothes at each.

For young children buy two of everything in clothing and toys. This cuts out packing and makes everybody's life easier.

It’s a headache and I would never recommend this custody split to anyone. Parents like it. Not great for kids. Dc has clothes at both but as they get older and more attached to certain items, it is an issue

Do you have clothing that is designated Mom’s or Dad’s and stays there, or do they just go wearing and outfit and come back in another so the clothing ends up rotating?

What about special things?